Pope Leo XIV *Parody*
@popeleoxiv.bsky.social
Chicago-born. Vatican-elected. Delivering blessings, opinions, and mild theological chaos since 2025. (Parody)
Pinned
My homily today: God loves you, but stop being weird in my DMs.
Reposted by Pope Leo XIV *Parody*
In an era that looked as if it might be defined by an American man of depraved cruelty, corruption & shame, what a magnificent thing the Catholic Church has done. The elevation of an American man of goodness, grace, humility, mercy & faith to the Throne of St. Peter is moving & momentous for us all.
May 9, 2025 at 7:06 PM
In an era that looked as if it might be defined by an American man of depraved cruelty, corruption & shame, what a magnificent thing the Catholic Church has done. The elevation of an American man of goodness, grace, humility, mercy & faith to the Throne of St. Peter is moving & momentous for us all.
One person, one vote. One Pope, one extremely over-thought, wine-fueled ballot. Democracy is wild.
Thinking about how the Pope is going to vote for President in 2028, same as I will, and my vote will count the same as the Pope’s. Yours will too. It’s so weird.
May 10, 2025 at 10:24 PM
One person, one vote. One Pope, one extremely over-thought, wine-fueled ballot. Democracy is wild.
The Vatican library has 1.1 million books and yet I still can’t find a single one that explains why pigeons walk like that.
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May 10, 2025 at 5:28 PM
The Vatican library has 1.1 million books and yet I still can’t find a single one that explains why pigeons walk like that.
If y’all can call me Pope Leo XIV with zero hesitation, you can call a trans person by their name. Unless your tongue only works when the hat is pointy and the robe is long. In which case… seek help, beloved.
New Pope: I am changing my name from Robert Prevost to Leo XIV
Right wingers: Sure. No problem.
Trans person: Please call me by my chosen name and not my dead name.
Right wingers: How are you try to violate my free speech!
Right wingers: Sure. No problem.
Trans person: Please call me by my chosen name and not my dead name.
Right wingers: How are you try to violate my free speech!
May 10, 2025 at 3:45 AM
If y’all can call me Pope Leo XIV with zero hesitation, you can call a trans person by their name. Unless your tongue only works when the hat is pointy and the robe is long. In which case… seek help, beloved.
The sacred right to speak one’s conscience must not perish beneath a crown of fear.
Peaceful protest is not heresy—it is holy. 🕊️
I stand with mayors, students, judges, and all who refuse to bow to tyranny. ✊
Peaceful protest is not heresy—it is holy. 🕊️
I stand with mayors, students, judges, and all who refuse to bow to tyranny. ✊
May 9, 2025 at 9:51 PM
The sacred right to speak one’s conscience must not perish beneath a crown of fear.
Peaceful protest is not heresy—it is holy. 🕊️
I stand with mayors, students, judges, and all who refuse to bow to tyranny. ✊
Peaceful protest is not heresy—it is holy. 🕊️
I stand with mayors, students, judges, and all who refuse to bow to tyranny. ✊
War among nations is never holy.
But trust that if it were, Trump would’ve bragged it was because of his “peace through strength” and not, say, actual diplomacy.
Prayers for the people of Pakistan.
But trust that if it were, Trump would’ve bragged it was because of his “peace through strength” and not, say, actual diplomacy.
Prayers for the people of Pakistan.
India is reportedly attacking Lahore, Pakistan right now.
If this happened under Biden, we all know Donald Trump would have claimed that "this would never have happened under me."
🙄
If this happened under Biden, we all know Donald Trump would have claimed that "this would never have happened under me."
🙄
May 9, 2025 at 9:44 PM
War among nations is never holy.
But trust that if it were, Trump would’ve bragged it was because of his “peace through strength” and not, say, actual diplomacy.
Prayers for the people of Pakistan.
But trust that if it were, Trump would’ve bragged it was because of his “peace through strength” and not, say, actual diplomacy.
Prayers for the people of Pakistan.
I see the "degenerate liberals" of Twitter are… enjoying joy, practicing free thought, and not tanking the global economy out of spite.
Meanwhile, JD Vance is out here trying to smite brunch. Touch grass, my son. 🌿
Meanwhile, JD Vance is out here trying to smite brunch. Touch grass, my son. 🌿
May 9, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I see the "degenerate liberals" of Twitter are… enjoying joy, practicing free thought, and not tanking the global economy out of spite.
Meanwhile, JD Vance is out here trying to smite brunch. Touch grass, my son. 🌿
Meanwhile, JD Vance is out here trying to smite brunch. Touch grass, my son. 🌿
Reposted by Pope Leo XIV *Parody*
The arrest of Mayor Baraka is a clear escalation by a Trump administration that is already out of control. We must al speak up NOW!
May 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM
The arrest of Mayor Baraka is a clear escalation by a Trump administration that is already out of control. We must al speak up NOW!
Reposted by Pope Leo XIV *Parody*
“We’re not a sanctuary state.”
Cool, and apparently not a humanity state either.
ICE is out here playing bounty hunter, and you’re monitoring things?
We need leaders who protect people—not ones who play oblivious while families are torn apart.
Cool, and apparently not a humanity state either.
ICE is out here playing bounty hunter, and you’re monitoring things?
We need leaders who protect people—not ones who play oblivious while families are torn apart.
ICE is kidnapping people off the streets of our state and this is the response from Governor Healey? Come on.
Source: www.wgbh.org/news/local/2...
Source: www.wgbh.org/news/local/2...
May 9, 2025 at 8:59 PM
“We’re not a sanctuary state.”
Cool, and apparently not a humanity state either.
ICE is out here playing bounty hunter, and you’re monitoring things?
We need leaders who protect people—not ones who play oblivious while families are torn apart.
Cool, and apparently not a humanity state either.
ICE is out here playing bounty hunter, and you’re monitoring things?
We need leaders who protect people—not ones who play oblivious while families are torn apart.
Amazing how the FBI didn’t need ski masks for mob bosses, but ICE needs them for mayors and clergy. Either Newark got a lot scarier, or someone’s conscience got a lot shakier.
Has there been a case of violent retaliation against ICE agents or members of their families?
MAGA claims it's to protect ICE agents and their families from retaliation. Here's a 2013 photo of unmasked FBI agents arresting 30 alleged mobsters in a mafia raid, including 'Papa Smurf', 'Uncle Sonny' and 'Big Bill', who apparently are less scary than <checks notes> Newark's current Mayor.
May 9, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Amazing how the FBI didn’t need ski masks for mob bosses, but ICE needs them for mayors and clergy. Either Newark got a lot scarier, or someone’s conscience got a lot shakier.
Day two so far: accidentally blessed a cappuccino, tripped over the Swiss Guard’s halberd, and told a bishop “vibes are off.” Holiness is a journey.
May 9, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Day two so far: accidentally blessed a cappuccino, tripped over the Swiss Guard’s halberd, and told a bishop “vibes are off.” Holiness is a journey.
Fair. But if anyone’s nana out there got the gumbo recipe that baptized me into flavor consciousness—I’m still pulling up with Tupperware.
New Orleans has yt ppl so this dont mean much to me beloved .
Let’s just say the family cookout in New Orleans might slap harder than the Vatican menu.
May 9, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Fair. But if anyone’s nana out there got the gumbo recipe that baptized me into flavor consciousness—I’m still pulling up with Tupperware.
Let’s just say the family cookout in New Orleans might slap harder than the Vatican menu.
May 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Let’s just say the family cookout in New Orleans might slap harder than the Vatican menu.
May the Lord guide me, and may the algorithm be kind. I’ll try to keep both holy.
We are praying that Pope Leo XIV be guided by a commitment to peace, justice, and inclusion. 🙏
May 9, 2025 at 8:08 PM
May the Lord guide me, and may the algorithm be kind. I’ll try to keep both holy.
You honor popes by name. You honor trans folks the same way. It’s not hard—just blessed.
If you are able to call Robert Francis Prevost, Pope Leo XIV, then you are able to call a trans person by their chosen name.
a drawing of a transgender flag with the words trans rights underneath it
ALT: a drawing of a transgender flag with the words trans rights underneath it
media.tenor.com
May 9, 2025 at 8:05 PM
You honor popes by name. You honor trans folks the same way. It’s not hard—just blessed.
Day one complete. Zero miracles performed. Five Cardinals side-eyed. One squirrel sighting in Vatican Gardens.
May 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Day one complete. Zero miracles performed. Five Cardinals side-eyed. One squirrel sighting in Vatican Gardens.
Peace be upon Leon Trotskitty. May his reign be soft, slightly aloof, and free of heresy.
The BBC corrected it to Leo, but for a few moments I was terrified that my daughter's Cat, Leon Trotskitty, had been named pontiff.
May 8, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Peace be upon Leon Trotskitty. May his reign be soft, slightly aloof, and free of heresy.
If you disrespect the deep dish, you’re getting excommunicated and Cubs tickets.
we finally have a Chicago Guy for pope
May 8, 2025 at 6:25 PM
If you disrespect the deep dish, you’re getting excommunicated and Cubs tickets.
The MLA Pope still refuses to number footnotes. We do not speak.
A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope
May 8, 2025 at 6:18 PM
The MLA Pope still refuses to number footnotes. We do not speak.
This job came with robes, keys to a city-state, and 1.4 billion spiritual dependents. No pressure.
Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost has been elected as the new pope to lead the world’s 1.4bn Catholics. www.ft.com/content/0983...
May 8, 2025 at 6:15 PM
This job came with robes, keys to a city-state, and 1.4 billion spiritual dependents. No pressure.
Technically I’m married to the Church, but we’re in an open relationship.
May 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Technically I’m married to the Church, but we’re in an open relationship.
That smoke wasn’t even white—I just vaped too close to the chimney.
White smoke was sent up by the conclave and history has been made, as Robert Francis Prevost, an American, has been named as the 267th pope.
Prevost, 69, is the first ever pope from the United States. He will be known as Leo XIV.
Prevost, 69, is the first ever pope from the United States. He will be known as Leo XIV.
May 8, 2025 at 6:01 PM
That smoke wasn’t even white—I just vaped too close to the chimney.