Pope Leo XIV *Parody*
@popeleoxiv.bsky.social
Chicago-born. Vatican-elected. Delivering blessings, opinions, and mild theological chaos since 2025. (Parody)
So now we’re punishing students for… being brilliant and global? What’s next, excommunicating algebra?
May 22, 2025 at 7:35 PM
So now we’re punishing students for… being brilliant and global? What’s next, excommunicating algebra?
Deporting children with cancer is not a border policy. It’s a sin.
May 10, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Deporting children with cancer is not a border policy. It’s a sin.
Turns out the tree of liberty gets awfully quiet when the tyranny is their flavor. Must be waiting for a tyrant they don’t like.
May 10, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Turns out the tree of liberty gets awfully quiet when the tyranny is their flavor. Must be waiting for a tyrant they don’t like.
Because nothing says ‘family values’ like putting kids in smokestacks and handing them a racial slur instead of a toy truck.
May 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Because nothing says ‘family values’ like putting kids in smokestacks and handing them a racial slur instead of a toy truck.
Whichever one drew the short straw in the Kremlin cloning chamber. I’ll be praying for his processor to hold up under pressure.
May 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Whichever one drew the short straw in the Kremlin cloning chamber. I’ll be praying for his processor to hold up under pressure.
Incredible. You absorb the Beatitudes, live the Gospel, and suddenly you’re Karl Marx in a cassock. Welcome to the club, brother — robes are optional, but compassion is required.
May 10, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Incredible. You absorb the Beatitudes, live the Gospel, and suddenly you’re Karl Marx in a cassock. Welcome to the club, brother — robes are optional, but compassion is required.
Nothing says ‘liberty’ quite like banning books about inequality while quoting yourself on the importance of free speech. The irony is so thick, even the incense won’t clear it.
May 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Nothing says ‘liberty’ quite like banning books about inequality while quoting yourself on the importance of free speech. The irony is so thick, even the incense won’t clear it.
Blessed are the backseat passengers, for they shall now be scanned in glorious 4K by the State. Next up: confession booths with biometric entry.
May 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Blessed are the backseat passengers, for they shall now be scanned in glorious 4K by the State. Next up: confession booths with biometric entry.
Meanwhile, Gaetz’s next ethics complaint is being drafted… in crayon.
May 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Meanwhile, Gaetz’s next ethics complaint is being drafted… in crayon.
Matt Gaetz walking through a prison like it’s a Zillow tour of his future.
May 10, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Matt Gaetz walking through a prison like it’s a Zillow tour of his future.
I too have 99% approval.
*Among Vatican pigeons.
**On days I drop breadcrumbs.
*While blessing them in Latin.
*Among Vatican pigeons.
**On days I drop breadcrumbs.
*While blessing them in Latin.
May 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I too have 99% approval.
*Among Vatican pigeons.
**On days I drop breadcrumbs.
*While blessing them in Latin.
*Among Vatican pigeons.
**On days I drop breadcrumbs.
*While blessing them in Latin.
Nothing screams ‘stable leadership’ like firing your emergency response chief right before hurricane season.
Next up: disbanding umbrellas because they disrespect the rain.
Next up: disbanding umbrellas because they disrespect the rain.
a man in a black coat is holding an umbrella while walking down the stairs of an airplane .
ALT: a man in a black coat is holding an umbrella while walking down the stairs of an airplane .
media.tenor.com
May 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Nothing screams ‘stable leadership’ like firing your emergency response chief right before hurricane season.
Next up: disbanding umbrellas because they disrespect the rain.
Next up: disbanding umbrellas because they disrespect the rain.
Saint Francis loved all creatures, but even he would’ve had questions about pigeons moonwalking through the piazza like they’re late to a Motown audition.
May 10, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Saint Francis loved all creatures, but even he would’ve had questions about pigeons moonwalking through the piazza like they’re late to a Motown audition.
When the mighty gather not for conquest but for counsel, we glimpse the grace of what peace might yet become. May wisdom triumph over war.
May 10, 2025 at 7:18 AM
When the mighty gather not for conquest but for counsel, we glimpse the grace of what peace might yet become. May wisdom triumph over war.
When sacred trust is twisted into weaponry and petty vengeance guides the state, we are not led by shepherds but by shadows. Even Elon has disciples now.
May 10, 2025 at 7:16 AM
When sacred trust is twisted into weaponry and petty vengeance guides the state, we are not led by shepherds but by shadows. Even Elon has disciples now.
Even the Holy See has limits. And mine is somewhere between the Book of Revelations and J.D. Vance’s Twitter feed. 🙏📵
May 10, 2025 at 7:14 AM
Even the Holy See has limits. And mine is somewhere between the Book of Revelations and J.D. Vance’s Twitter feed. 🙏📵
I carry no grudge against Chicago deep dish… but let it be known: ceviche is a sacrament in its own right.
Rome has wine, wisdom, and war criminals. I miss limes, heat, and pescado done right.
Rome has wine, wisdom, and war criminals. I miss limes, heat, and pescado done right.
May 10, 2025 at 4:02 AM
I carry no grudge against Chicago deep dish… but let it be known: ceviche is a sacrament in its own right.
Rome has wine, wisdom, and war criminals. I miss limes, heat, and pescado done right.
Rome has wine, wisdom, and war criminals. I miss limes, heat, and pescado done right.
Even heretics know not to mess with due process.
If you’re cheering for authoritarianism just because it’s aimed at your enemies today, rejoice not, for tomorrow, the sword swings toward you.
Cults crave unquestioning loyalty. Christ called for conscience.
If you’re cheering for authoritarianism just because it’s aimed at your enemies today, rejoice not, for tomorrow, the sword swings toward you.
Cults crave unquestioning loyalty. Christ called for conscience.
May 10, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Even heretics know not to mess with due process.
If you’re cheering for authoritarianism just because it’s aimed at your enemies today, rejoice not, for tomorrow, the sword swings toward you.
Cults crave unquestioning loyalty. Christ called for conscience.
If you’re cheering for authoritarianism just because it’s aimed at your enemies today, rejoice not, for tomorrow, the sword swings toward you.
Cults crave unquestioning loyalty. Christ called for conscience.
When corrupt men weaponize Caesar’s laws to crush the innocent and silence dissent, that’s not order — that’s tyranny in vestments.
And may I say, “taint-licking toadies” shall not inherit the Kingdom.
And may I say, “taint-licking toadies” shall not inherit the Kingdom.
May 10, 2025 at 3:59 AM
When corrupt men weaponize Caesar’s laws to crush the innocent and silence dissent, that’s not order — that’s tyranny in vestments.
And may I say, “taint-licking toadies” shall not inherit the Kingdom.
And may I say, “taint-licking toadies” shall not inherit the Kingdom.
In just one week, the man managed to dishonor the gospel, the law, the judiciary, and the dead. At this rate, Trump’s next act might be replacing communion wafers with Trump Steaks. Pax vobiscum, but not with him.
May 10, 2025 at 3:57 AM
In just one week, the man managed to dishonor the gospel, the law, the judiciary, and the dead. At this rate, Trump’s next act might be replacing communion wafers with Trump Steaks. Pax vobiscum, but not with him.