Alex Simmons 🪼
@ohalexsimmons.bsky.social
Comedian | Writer
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
Let’s make out and keep a 21 million-year tradition alive!
First kiss dates back 21 million years, say scientists
A new study looks at how the mouth-on-mouth smooch came into being, and concludes that Neanderthals also kissed.
www.bbc.com
November 19, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Let’s make out and keep a 21 million-year tradition alive!
Bill Mahr is retiring from standup, claiming “I could get shot by the left or right.”
The idea he’s important enough to get shot is the funniest joke he’s written in years.
The idea he’s important enough to get shot is the funniest joke he’s written in years.
November 18, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Bill Mahr is retiring from standup, claiming “I could get shot by the left or right.”
The idea he’s important enough to get shot is the funniest joke he’s written in years.
The idea he’s important enough to get shot is the funniest joke he’s written in years.
But… But… Who’s gonna hold space with the lyrics of Defying Gravity and really find power in that?
::grabs your finger::
::grabs your finger::
Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande Skipping Interviews at ‘Wicked: For Good’ New York Premiere
Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande won’t be doing interviews at Monday night’s New York City premiere of 'Wicked: For Good.'
variety.com
November 17, 2025 at 11:32 PM
But… But… Who’s gonna hold space with the lyrics of Defying Gravity and really find power in that?
::grabs your finger::
::grabs your finger::
Yes, Madani is antisemitic.
Because, sadly, everyone is a little antisemitic.
No one is 100 percent not antisemitic, just like no one is 100 percent not racist.
If I only voted for people who were 100 percent not antisemitic, I’d have no one to vote for.
Because, sadly, everyone is a little antisemitic.
No one is 100 percent not antisemitic, just like no one is 100 percent not racist.
If I only voted for people who were 100 percent not antisemitic, I’d have no one to vote for.
November 17, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Yes, Madani is antisemitic.
Because, sadly, everyone is a little antisemitic.
No one is 100 percent not antisemitic, just like no one is 100 percent not racist.
If I only voted for people who were 100 percent not antisemitic, I’d have no one to vote for.
Because, sadly, everyone is a little antisemitic.
No one is 100 percent not antisemitic, just like no one is 100 percent not racist.
If I only voted for people who were 100 percent not antisemitic, I’d have no one to vote for.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
If you're a youtuber reading out an entire article for a video without ever linking to the piece or mentioning the writer or the outlet, you are fucking scum.
November 17, 2025 at 7:12 PM
If you're a youtuber reading out an entire article for a video without ever linking to the piece or mentioning the writer or the outlet, you are fucking scum.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Now, that’s a writer. (But you knew that already.)
David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)
November 17, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Now, that’s a writer. (But you knew that already.)
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
To earn some extra money during my retirement, I decided to get a part-time job at our local cemetery. It’s important work though — there are hundreds of people under me.
Ouch. 😂
Ouch. 😂
November 17, 2025 at 2:50 AM
To earn some extra money during my retirement, I decided to get a part-time job at our local cemetery. It’s important work though — there are hundreds of people under me.
Ouch. 😂
Ouch. 😂
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Whether it’s Barack Obama, appearing in a tan suit or Donald Trump appearing 1700 times in Jeffrey Epstein‘s emails, both presidents made some highly controversial appearances.
November 15, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Whether it’s Barack Obama, appearing in a tan suit or Donald Trump appearing 1700 times in Jeffrey Epstein‘s emails, both presidents made some highly controversial appearances.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
NEW: New Jersey’s township data is (mostly) in, so
@shanegoldmacher.bsky.social & I crunched the numbers on NJ’s blue shift/pendulum swing
The same majority-Hispanic cities & towns that swung to Trump in 24 shifted back D, to Mikie Sherrill, in the governor’s race
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/15/u...
@shanegoldmacher.bsky.social & I crunched the numbers on NJ’s blue shift/pendulum swing
The same majority-Hispanic cities & towns that swung to Trump in 24 shifted back D, to Mikie Sherrill, in the governor’s race
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/15/u...
Maps Show How Latinos Who Shifted Right in 2024 Snapped Back Left in 2025
www.nytimes.com
November 15, 2025 at 3:15 PM
NEW: New Jersey’s township data is (mostly) in, so
@shanegoldmacher.bsky.social & I crunched the numbers on NJ’s blue shift/pendulum swing
The same majority-Hispanic cities & towns that swung to Trump in 24 shifted back D, to Mikie Sherrill, in the governor’s race
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/15/u...
@shanegoldmacher.bsky.social & I crunched the numbers on NJ’s blue shift/pendulum swing
The same majority-Hispanic cities & towns that swung to Trump in 24 shifted back D, to Mikie Sherrill, in the governor’s race
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/15/u...
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Good thread.
I think something articles like this fail to mention or only mention briefly is that social media is literally tearing US society apart.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
What Did Men Do to Deserve This?
Changes in the economy and in the culture seem to have hit them hard. Scott Galloway believes they need an “aspirational vision of masculinity.”
www.newyorker.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Good thread.
I think something articles like this fail to mention or only mention briefly is that social media is literally tearing US society apart.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
What Did Men Do to Deserve This?
Changes in the economy and in the culture seem to have hit them hard. Scott Galloway believes they need an “aspirational vision of masculinity.”
www.newyorker.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I think something articles like this fail to mention or only mention briefly is that social media is literally tearing US society apart.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
Scott Galloway’s pillars of manhood are a nice idea, but these pillars are something everyone can do. He’s basically saying be a decent person.
Makes sense, the thing is selling like hotcakes.
The Nintendo Switch 2 Black Friday discounts have been announced, and they're not looking good
Bargain
www.techradar.com
November 14, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Makes sense, the thing is selling like hotcakes.
But his emails.
November 13, 2025 at 9:51 PM
But his emails.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Trump has inadvertently created the exact scenario that benefited him in 2016: a slow release of emails that creates a news cycle each time.
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Trump has inadvertently created the exact scenario that benefited him in 2016: a slow release of emails that creates a news cycle each time.
The Sidney Sweeney thing is an amazing demonstration of how many times a beautiful white woman will be given a chance to say nazi’s are bad.
November 12, 2025 at 1:56 AM
The Sidney Sweeney thing is an amazing demonstration of how many times a beautiful white woman will be given a chance to say nazi’s are bad.
Thank you to everyone for birthday greetings and well wishes.
It’s been 38 trips around the sun, and I’m lucky to have you all be a part of them.
I got two years left of my 30s to pull some wild shit so let’s goooooo.
It’s been 38 trips around the sun, and I’m lucky to have you all be a part of them.
I got two years left of my 30s to pull some wild shit so let’s goooooo.
November 8, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Thank you to everyone for birthday greetings and well wishes.
It’s been 38 trips around the sun, and I’m lucky to have you all be a part of them.
I got two years left of my 30s to pull some wild shit so let’s goooooo.
It’s been 38 trips around the sun, and I’m lucky to have you all be a part of them.
I got two years left of my 30s to pull some wild shit so let’s goooooo.
My favorite thing about electing a Democratic Socialist mayor is how much it pisses some of you off.
My god… Is this what it feels like to be MAGA?
My god… Is this what it feels like to be MAGA?
November 6, 2025 at 10:21 PM
My favorite thing about electing a Democratic Socialist mayor is how much it pisses some of you off.
My god… Is this what it feels like to be MAGA?
My god… Is this what it feels like to be MAGA?
Nancy Pelosi is retiring.
Congrats on being one of the most successful and profitable stock traders in history, Nancy. That was one hell of a run.
And she managed to serve in the House of Representatives for 39 years and be speaker as a side hustle!
Truly inspirational.
Congrats on being one of the most successful and profitable stock traders in history, Nancy. That was one hell of a run.
And she managed to serve in the House of Representatives for 39 years and be speaker as a side hustle!
Truly inspirational.
November 6, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Nancy Pelosi is retiring.
Congrats on being one of the most successful and profitable stock traders in history, Nancy. That was one hell of a run.
And she managed to serve in the House of Representatives for 39 years and be speaker as a side hustle!
Truly inspirational.
Congrats on being one of the most successful and profitable stock traders in history, Nancy. That was one hell of a run.
And she managed to serve in the House of Representatives for 39 years and be speaker as a side hustle!
Truly inspirational.
Look, he’s either a Marxist or an Islamist but he can’t be both.
November 6, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Look, he’s either a Marxist or an Islamist but he can’t be both.
Thank you Andrew Cuomo, for legalizing weed.
Now we can celebrate your retirement in style!
Now we can celebrate your retirement in style!
November 5, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Thank you Andrew Cuomo, for legalizing weed.
Now we can celebrate your retirement in style!
Now we can celebrate your retirement in style!
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Brad Lander is going to be our next U.S. Senator.
November 3, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Brad Lander is going to be our next U.S. Senator.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Brad rocks!
November 3, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Brad rocks!
Can Zohran keep him around for the vibes?
November 2, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Can Zohran keep him around for the vibes?
It’s gotta suck to write an inspirational song then see it used in a pharmaceutical ad ten years later.
November 2, 2025 at 2:17 PM
It’s gotta suck to write an inspirational song then see it used in a pharmaceutical ad ten years later.