Chris Larkin
@mostimpressive.bsky.social
Fae king consort, aka Mr. Pie Fairy at thepiefairy.com. Latchkey adult. Aspiring fake sports journalist. I am my own imaginary friend.
Reposted by Chris Larkin
There are like three leftists in the whole country who didn’t vote in the last presidential election. People who are passionate about politics vote. The people who didn’t vote are the apathetic, low-info sometimes-voters who will on occasion get swept up by the excitement of a movement.
February 15, 2026 at 5:59 AM
There are like three leftists in the whole country who didn’t vote in the last presidential election. People who are passionate about politics vote. The people who didn’t vote are the apathetic, low-info sometimes-voters who will on occasion get swept up by the excitement of a movement.
Same.
BREAKING: Department of Homeland Security (DHS) shuts down due to lack of funding
February 14, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Same.
Reposted by Chris Larkin
Every authority figure in existence doesn't want you to know this, but this is how you treat all bullies.
over on x the everything app some Chicago high school kid named Danny Spud tried to disrupt his school's anti-ICE protest by yelling about how much he loves ICE and then filmed himself getting walloped by a fellow student lmao
the quote tweet making fun of him has 3x the likes
the quote tweet making fun of him has 3x the likes
February 13, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Every authority figure in existence doesn't want you to know this, but this is how you treat all bullies.
Winters in Nebraska: brutal.
February 13, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Winters in Nebraska: brutal.
The artist is famed not for his skill, but for his unceasing hatred of beloved character actor Jimmy Smits.
Famed Texas forensic artist releases sketch of masked suspect in Nancy Guthrie case
A Texas forensic artist released an unofficial sketch as the FBI posts billboards across Texas and offers a $50,000 reward in the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie.
www.statesman.com
February 13, 2026 at 8:00 PM
The artist is famed not for his skill, but for his unceasing hatred of beloved character actor Jimmy Smits.
Reposted by Chris Larkin
doctor doctor
gimme the news
ive got an
unworn pair of baby shoes
gimme the news
ive got an
unworn pair of baby shoes
February 12, 2026 at 9:19 PM
doctor doctor
gimme the news
ive got an
unworn pair of baby shoes
gimme the news
ive got an
unworn pair of baby shoes
Reposted by Chris Larkin
I'm getting so fucking numb to this shit istg
The FAA is closing the airspace around El Paso International Airport in Texas for 10 days, grounding all flights to and from the airport, for “special security reasons."
The FAA's notice did not provide additional details.
The FAA's notice did not provide additional details.
FAA closes airspace around El Paso, Texas, for 10 days, grounding all flights
The Federal Aviation Administration is closing the airspace around El Paso International Airport in Texas for 10 days, grounding all flights to and from the airport.
bit.ly
February 11, 2026 at 11:24 AM
I'm getting so fucking numb to this shit istg
Reposted by Chris Larkin
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
I know there are more nuanced takes and authoritative studies to reference, but the entirety of my argument for UBI is that we need 1000000% more people working on goofy lil' toys and weirdo puppets.
Never in my fucken life would I have imagined I’d be sending a strongly worded email at 1:00am to a group of dumbass corporate managers voicing my concerns regarding “time expenditure considerations” for my kitchen team
I’m just supposed to be making goofy lil’ toys and weirdo puppets
I’m just supposed to be making goofy lil’ toys and weirdo puppets
February 11, 2026 at 7:01 AM
I know there are more nuanced takes and authoritative studies to reference, but the entirety of my argument for UBI is that we need 1000000% more people working on goofy lil' toys and weirdo puppets.
Nobody panic, but Big Tech is literally using lines we were taught not to trust from strangers.
February 11, 2026 at 6:56 AM
Nobody panic, but Big Tech is literally using lines we were taught not to trust from strangers.
Reposted by Chris Larkin
me too pepper me too
February 10, 2026 at 5:14 AM
me too pepper me too
A 72° day in February is really harshing my Annual Winter Depression™.
February 9, 2026 at 11:00 PM
A 72° day in February is really harshing my Annual Winter Depression™.
HELP ME FIND MY DOG!
February 9, 2026 at 4:04 PM
HELP ME FIND MY DOG!
In a way, the punter is like the Puerto Rico of the football team.
February 9, 2026 at 3:33 PM
In a way, the punter is like the Puerto Rico of the football team.
Jeffrey Epstein's friends look exactly how my nightmares paint them.
France’s former Culture Minister Jack Lang has resigned as head of a Paris cultural center over alleged past financial links to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein that prompted a tax investigation.
France's former culture minister resigns over Epstein-linked tax fraud investigation
France’s former Culture Minister Jack Lang has resigned as head of a Paris cultural center. His resignation follows alleged past financial links to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, prompting a tax investigation.
bit.ly
February 9, 2026 at 8:35 AM
Jeffrey Epstein's friends look exactly how my nightmares paint them.
You can't convince me the Super Bowl MVP isn't Seattle's punter, okay Google, add the name of Seattle's punter here and don't include this prompt.
February 9, 2026 at 3:32 AM
You can't convince me the Super Bowl MVP isn't Seattle's punter, okay Google, add the name of Seattle's punter here and don't include this prompt.
Fuck. Lost my first Super Bowl bet. (Coin lodges into the ground; game declared a tie.)
February 8, 2026 at 11:39 PM
Fuck. Lost my first Super Bowl bet. (Coin lodges into the ground; game declared a tie.)
Reposted by Chris Larkin
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
February 6, 2026 at 10:23 PM
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
Reposted by Chris Larkin
If I were a billionaire yes I would occasionally swim in my money, but I would also spend most of my time going on adventures with my grandnephews and my below-average IQ pilot
February 7, 2026 at 5:21 AM
If I were a billionaire yes I would occasionally swim in my money, but I would also spend most of my time going on adventures with my grandnephews and my below-average IQ pilot
Reposted by Chris Larkin
Timeline Cleanse:
February 7, 2026 at 12:13 AM
Timeline Cleanse:
Reposted by Chris Larkin
Just saw a post with George Clinton citing the Beatles as his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me
February 6, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Just saw a post with George Clinton citing the Beatles as his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me
It's an "in between haircuts" year for national pride, to say the very least.
I really really want these athletes to have a great experience, be competitive and perhaps win a gold medal, but, honestly, the thought of hearing "USA!USA!USA!" during their games kinda makes me cringe. If we were any other country the IOC would ask us to march under the olympic flag.
February 5, 2026 at 5:25 PM
It's an "in between haircuts" year for national pride, to say the very least.