mattitations
@mattitations.bsky.social
astros, longhorns, cougars, beatles, dylan, books, ⚖️
pfp: adhoganart.com
pfp: adhoganart.com
Pinned
“money, like vodka, does strange things to a man. a merchant was dying in our town. before he died, he asked to be served a dish of honey and ate all his money and lottery tickets with it, so that nobody would get them.”
—gooseberries, by anton chekhov
—gooseberries, by anton chekhov
I read the article and regretted it. aaron’s thread here is more informative.
Oh my goodness, this Wall Street Journal piece about Trump's ailing health that includes an interview with him (gift link). There are a number of ridiculous details in it and I'll put a few of them in this thread. (1/6)
Exclusive | As Signs of Aging Emerge, Trump Responds With Defiance
In an interview, President Trump—the oldest man to assume the office—said he has eschewed some advice from his doctors and regrets getting advanced imaging.
www.wsj.com
January 1, 2026 at 6:15 PM
I read the article and regretted it. aaron’s thread here is more informative.
Reposted by mattitations
Sinners is a great movie because it contains the hidden truth that when the devil arrives he will be riverdancing.
December 31, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Sinners is a great movie because it contains the hidden truth that when the devil arrives he will be riverdancing.
I just hope my beloved #longhorns honor the dignity of the cheez-it bowl. hook ‘em! 🤘
December 31, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I just hope my beloved #longhorns honor the dignity of the cheez-it bowl. hook ‘em! 🤘
please quote this with the time you didn’t interact with someone famous
we were at the hard day’s night hotel in liverpool and I took a peek around the corner into the bar and david lynch was sitting there, talking to people. I turned back with a surprised look on my face
spouse: what?
1/
we were at the hard day’s night hotel in liverpool and I took a peek around the corner into the bar and david lynch was sitting there, talking to people. I turned back with a surprised look on my face
spouse: what?
1/
Please quote this from the time you didn't interact with someone famous.
I was visiting with family in New Bedford, Massachusetts, at the same time that Mother Theresa was there visiting her Missionaries of Charity. The bishop held a Mass for her at the church where I was baptized. I didn't go.
I was visiting with family in New Bedford, Massachusetts, at the same time that Mother Theresa was there visiting her Missionaries of Charity. The bishop held a Mass for her at the church where I was baptized. I didn't go.
Catching a train from Bristol Temple Meads, but they shifted the service along the platform because a scene from THE OUTLAWS was being shot where it would usually come in. The scene featured Christopher Walken and Stephen Merchant, but my train came before they shot it so I didn't see either of 'em.
December 30, 2025 at 9:41 PM
please quote this with the time you didn’t interact with someone famous
we were at the hard day’s night hotel in liverpool and I took a peek around the corner into the bar and david lynch was sitting there, talking to people. I turned back with a surprised look on my face
spouse: what?
1/
we were at the hard day’s night hotel in liverpool and I took a peek around the corner into the bar and david lynch was sitting there, talking to people. I turned back with a surprised look on my face
spouse: what?
1/
oh shoot I don’t think so but let me check my priceless art vault. give me sec
An important work from a rediscovered artist has been absent from public view since the 1970s. A New York curator is hunting for it.
This painting is missing. Do you have it?
An important work from a rediscovered artist has been absent from public view since the 1970s. A New York curator is hunting for it.
n.pr
December 29, 2025 at 2:59 AM
oh shoot I don’t think so but let me check my priceless art vault. give me sec
someone get me kevin james, I have a million-dollar movie idea for him
December 28, 2025 at 8:50 PM
someone get me kevin james, I have a million-dollar movie idea for him
the bible … for her
I can’t decide if it’s the typos or the ryan-gosling-as-jesus riding a lion that’s really selling it
I can’t decide if it’s the typos or the ryan-gosling-as-jesus riding a lion that’s really selling it
December 28, 2025 at 8:34 PM
the bible … for her
I can’t decide if it’s the typos or the ryan-gosling-as-jesus riding a lion that’s really selling it
I can’t decide if it’s the typos or the ryan-gosling-as-jesus riding a lion that’s really selling it
Reposted by mattitations
dangit I’m catching a plane later today and I need to get to the dry cleaners so I can pick up my tux to wear on the flight
December 28, 2025 at 7:04 PM
dangit I’m catching a plane later today and I need to get to the dry cleaners so I can pick up my tux to wear on the flight
post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.
December 28, 2025 at 2:29 AM
post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.
watching the talented mr. ripley (1999) for reasons and cannot imagine the shenanigans that beautiful young things cate blanchett, gwyneth paltrow, jude law, and matt damon got up to in italy
December 28, 2025 at 1:23 AM
watching the talented mr. ripley (1999) for reasons and cannot imagine the shenanigans that beautiful young things cate blanchett, gwyneth paltrow, jude law, and matt damon got up to in italy
Reposted by mattitations
The Texans cannot be stopped, no matter how hard they try
December 28, 2025 at 12:35 AM
The Texans cannot be stopped, no matter how hard they try
this tradition is like the slaying of old people in midsommar.
The children need to see the ritual sacrifice of the poptarts with open eyes.
The ecstasy of the pop tart being engulfed in flames as he descends to his fate is really a nice touch
December 28, 2025 at 12:11 AM
this tradition is like the slaying of old people in midsommar.
I’ve seen enough. all football should become poptartball
December 27, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I’ve seen enough. all football should become poptartball
Reposted by mattitations
the Texans offense in this game
December 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
the Texans offense in this game
my aunt lost her battle to brain cancer a couple months ago. she was wickedly funny and she introduced me to HHGG—one of her favorite books—when I was 12 & I’ve loved it ever since.
I was honored to be asked to read from douglas adams at her memorial service.
1/
I was honored to be asked to read from douglas adams at her memorial service.
1/
Recently I posted my negative views of gen-AI, and someone responded with a quote from Douglas Adams that ended "anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.” The message being I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.
I love Douglas Adams, but he didn't see this bullshit.
I love Douglas Adams, but he didn't see this bullshit.
December 27, 2025 at 11:00 PM
my aunt lost her battle to brain cancer a couple months ago. she was wickedly funny and she introduced me to HHGG—one of her favorite books—when I was 12 & I’ve loved it ever since.
I was honored to be asked to read from douglas adams at her memorial service.
1/
I was honored to be asked to read from douglas adams at her memorial service.
1/
the only things more surprising than the texans being 10-5 is the chargers being 11-4 (for now).
December 27, 2025 at 10:19 PM
the only things more surprising than the texans being 10-5 is the chargers being 11-4 (for now).
gerard bootles has made a nice career starring in movies no one has ever seen.
December 27, 2025 at 9:50 PM
gerard bootles has made a nice career starring in movies no one has ever seen.
hey @jodyssanders.bsky.social is this your piece in the tbj?! very nice!
December 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
hey @jodyssanders.bsky.social is this your piece in the tbj?! very nice!
Reposted by mattitations
If you see me with a raccoon at the airport, no you didn’t
December 27, 2025 at 7:09 PM
If you see me with a raccoon at the airport, no you didn’t
big news for astrostown
For the culture
December 27, 2025 at 7:27 PM
big news for astrostown
Reposted by mattitations
how will you enter 2026?
me:
me:
December 27, 2025 at 4:40 AM
how will you enter 2026?
me:
me:
Reposted by mattitations
The Dallas Cowboys' epic decline over the past 30 years is why in fact we call them "America's Team."
December 27, 2025 at 3:06 AM
The Dallas Cowboys' epic decline over the past 30 years is why in fact we call them "America's Team."
this town is probably in louisiana near a swamp
Me: Wow, Jambe Qui Terre, beautiful. What an interesting name. Was this town founded by French trappers?
Local: It’s pronounced Gumby Cooter
Local: It’s pronounced Gumby Cooter
December 26, 2025 at 7:56 PM
this town is probably in louisiana near a swamp