Kristen Mulrooney
@kristenmulrooney.bsky.social
Some brunette woman.
Editor of The Belladonna.
Writing in The New Yorker & McSweeney’s Letters to Mom column.
Editor of The Belladonna.
Writing in The New Yorker & McSweeney’s Letters to Mom column.
No Nut November here we goooooo (I lost my EpiPen)
November 1, 2025 at 5:51 PM
No Nut November here we goooooo (I lost my EpiPen)
People assume I'm a writer because I have something important to say but really I just love buying new office supplies.
October 30, 2025 at 5:11 PM
People assume I'm a writer because I have something important to say but really I just love buying new office supplies.
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
Congrats to our own @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social for landing in @lukevburns.bsky.social & @jamesfolta.com ‘s newsletter this week 👰🏻♀️! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
Our Wedding Gifts: Ten Years Later
Twenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part...
www.mcsweeneys.net
October 30, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Congrats to our own @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social for landing in @lukevburns.bsky.social & @jamesfolta.com ‘s newsletter this week 👰🏻♀️! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
Starting to worry that the Dodgers didn't spend enough.
October 30, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Starting to worry that the Dodgers didn't spend enough.
In The Pom today talking about the balance between childhood and today's absurd expectations for youth athletes.
www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...
www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...
I'm Trying to Raise a Child, Not an Athlete
But we're in too deep.
www.the-pom.com
October 30, 2025 at 2:13 PM
In The Pom today talking about the balance between childhood and today's absurd expectations for youth athletes.
www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...
www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
I particularly enjoyed this piece by @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social as someone whose 4yo loves dance and is ALREADY being recruited to the pre-competition team (link in replies)
October 30, 2025 at 12:37 PM
I particularly enjoyed this piece by @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social as someone whose 4yo loves dance and is ALREADY being recruited to the pre-competition team (link in replies)
This morning at 6:58am my son bottle flipped an entire jug of orange juice and it was somewhere around mid flip that he realized the cap was not on.
October 29, 2025 at 11:30 AM
This morning at 6:58am my son bottle flipped an entire jug of orange juice and it was somewhere around mid flip that he realized the cap was not on.
We had a different version of October Kiké but both versions are correct.
October 28, 2025 at 11:41 PM
We had a different version of October Kiké but both versions are correct.
Texted my husband with my scheme for getting all three of our kids out of school, to the dentist, fed, and off to three different sports by 5:00pm and he responded "Ocean's Five," and honestly yes.
October 28, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Texted my husband with my scheme for getting all three of our kids out of school, to the dentist, fed, and off to three different sports by 5:00pm and he responded "Ocean's Five," and honestly yes.
Kids are in disbelief at rumors that one of the schools in town banned ALL memes. They can't say 6-7, 41, OR 21. Cruel and unusual, absolutely egregious.
October 28, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Kids are in disbelief at rumors that one of the schools in town banned ALL memes. They can't say 6-7, 41, OR 21. Cruel and unusual, absolutely egregious.
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
If you have home plate seats at the World Series and they catch your ass dinking around on your phone back there a big claw game thing should come down and pluck you up and out by the head.
October 28, 2025 at 1:30 AM
If you have home plate seats at the World Series and they catch your ass dinking around on your phone back there a big claw game thing should come down and pluck you up and out by the head.
Found a screenshot of me making a great point, yes the group chat is called Cunty Little Babies but just move past that
October 27, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Found a screenshot of me making a great point, yes the group chat is called Cunty Little Babies but just move past that
I have made an instructional video for the people wondering how it's possible for a short wife/tall husband couple to do this.
October 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I have made an instructional video for the people wondering how it's possible for a short wife/tall husband couple to do this.
If you're a person I know in real life, it will take about 7 years for me to let my guard down and become friends with you. If you're a person who gets on the elevator with me, we will form an unbreakable bond by the time we reach the 6th floor.
October 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
If you're a person I know in real life, it will take about 7 years for me to let my guard down and become friends with you. If you're a person who gets on the elevator with me, we will form an unbreakable bond by the time we reach the 6th floor.
My son wants to know why nobody has invented 3D glasses for real life yet? It would be really cool if the whole world was in 3D, he says. Nobody steal this idea!
October 25, 2025 at 5:35 PM
My son wants to know why nobody has invented 3D glasses for real life yet? It would be really cool if the whole world was in 3D, he says. Nobody steal this idea!
Reasons the woman sitting next to me in the coffee shop hates her son's girlfriend:
- "has celiac"
- wore a glittery dress to homecoming and got glitter in the car
- "looks sexual"
- "has celiac"
- wore a glittery dress to homecoming and got glitter in the car
- "looks sexual"
October 24, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Reasons the woman sitting next to me in the coffee shop hates her son's girlfriend:
- "has celiac"
- wore a glittery dress to homecoming and got glitter in the car
- "looks sexual"
- "has celiac"
- wore a glittery dress to homecoming and got glitter in the car
- "looks sexual"
Nothing brings me more joy than seeing someone see themself on the Jumbotron, so here are some tips for making it up there. LET'S GET JUMBO.
thebelladonnacomedy.com/ways-to-get-...
thebelladonnacomedy.com/ways-to-get-...
Ways To Get On The Jumbotron At The World Series
CAUTION: Engage in meme behavior at your own risk.
thebelladonnacomedy.com
October 24, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Nothing brings me more joy than seeing someone see themself on the Jumbotron, so here are some tips for making it up there. LET'S GET JUMBO.
thebelladonnacomedy.com/ways-to-get-...
thebelladonnacomedy.com/ways-to-get-...
We're going to the basketball courts this weekend to determine if my claim that I can sink a half court shot with 5% accuracy is correct.
Last night Matt tried to kiss me, and I pick-and-rolled past him and ran for a pretend layup. Could tell by the look on his face that he's starting to worry I might be right about this, or maybe is thinking about divorcing me.
Went off about how baseball is the hardest sport because I could try the rest of my life to hit a fastball from an MLB pitcher and never do it, but I could definitely score on Lebron one on one, and apparently the man who married me doesn't think I could score on Lebron so now we're fighting.
October 24, 2025 at 2:43 AM
We're going to the basketball courts this weekend to determine if my claim that I can sink a half court shot with 5% accuracy is correct.
Google: "You have to buy more storage. Your storage is full because of the 200,000 photos you have saved. So you have to buy more."
Me: Deletes 199,900 photos.
Google: "What. No. That didn't- that didn't help. It's still full."
Me: Deletes 199,900 photos.
Google: "What. No. That didn't- that didn't help. It's still full."
October 23, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Google: "You have to buy more storage. Your storage is full because of the 200,000 photos you have saved. So you have to buy more."
Me: Deletes 199,900 photos.
Google: "What. No. That didn't- that didn't help. It's still full."
Me: Deletes 199,900 photos.
Google: "What. No. That didn't- that didn't help. It's still full."
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
I cried laughing at the bit about the dog jumping a lot in episode 2 of The Chair Company. Very timely for me and such a specific and real thing AND THAT'S WHY I SAY FUCK AI BECAUSE WE NEED REAL NUANCED THINGS THAT ONLY A HUMAN COULD UNDERSTAND.
October 23, 2025 at 2:08 PM
I cried laughing at the bit about the dog jumping a lot in episode 2 of The Chair Company. Very timely for me and such a specific and real thing AND THAT'S WHY I SAY FUCK AI BECAUSE WE NEED REAL NUANCED THINGS THAT ONLY A HUMAN COULD UNDERSTAND.
Last night Matt tried to kiss me, and I pick-and-rolled past him and ran for a pretend layup. Could tell by the look on his face that he's starting to worry I might be right about this, or maybe is thinking about divorcing me.
Went off about how baseball is the hardest sport because I could try the rest of my life to hit a fastball from an MLB pitcher and never do it, but I could definitely score on Lebron one on one, and apparently the man who married me doesn't think I could score on Lebron so now we're fighting.
October 22, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Last night Matt tried to kiss me, and I pick-and-rolled past him and ran for a pretend layup. Could tell by the look on his face that he's starting to worry I might be right about this, or maybe is thinking about divorcing me.
Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney
HIS AND HERS COFFEE MUGS:
They're among the dozens of other broken-handled coffee mugs that remain in the dishwasher at all times.
They're among the dozens of other broken-handled coffee mugs that remain in the dishwasher at all times.
Our Wedding Gifts: Ten Years Later
Twenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part...
buff.ly
October 22, 2025 at 3:21 PM
HIS AND HERS COFFEE MUGS:
They're among the dozens of other broken-handled coffee mugs that remain in the dishwasher at all times.
They're among the dozens of other broken-handled coffee mugs that remain in the dishwasher at all times.
I wrote a Where Are They Now? about my wedding gifts, ten years after the wedding for @mcsweeneys.net. ZOODLES??
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
Our Wedding Gifts: Ten Years Later
Twenty-four crystal champagne flutes: I love entertaining, so these beautiful champagne flutes are a must-have for the elegant sit-down dinner part...
www.mcsweeneys.net
October 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I wrote a Where Are They Now? about my wedding gifts, ten years after the wedding for @mcsweeneys.net. ZOODLES??
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...
I love a Game 7 and that was such a GOOD Game 7
October 21, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I love a Game 7 and that was such a GOOD Game 7