Kay Woodward
@kaywoodward.bsky.social
Children's author.
Alpha faffer.
Kay Barnham, if you squint a bit.
Fabulous agent: Claire Wilson at RCW.
Alpha faffer.
Kay Barnham, if you squint a bit.
Fabulous agent: Claire Wilson at RCW.
I happen to know that Father Christmas LOVES this type of request. #collectorsitem #sendhelp
November 29, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I happen to know that Father Christmas LOVES this type of request. #collectorsitem #sendhelp
Don’t forget not to bother putting the entirely self-sufficient digital products back an hour!
October 26, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Don’t forget not to bother putting the entirely self-sufficient digital products back an hour!
Apparently, in order for our shower to be installed effectively, we need Nine Inch Nails AT FULL VOLUME. But if it means I can wash my hair the right way up, then hey. I'm not going to argue. 🫧
September 2, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Apparently, in order for our shower to be installed effectively, we need Nine Inch Nails AT FULL VOLUME. But if it means I can wash my hair the right way up, then hey. I'm not going to argue. 🫧
Reposted by Kay Woodward
Kingdom: food
Phylum: frozen food
Order: ice cream
Family: ice cream on a stick
Genus: magnum
Species: mint magnum
Phylum: frozen food
Order: ice cream
Family: ice cream on a stick
Genus: magnum
Species: mint magnum
June 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Kingdom: food
Phylum: frozen food
Order: ice cream
Family: ice cream on a stick
Genus: magnum
Species: mint magnum
Phylum: frozen food
Order: ice cream
Family: ice cream on a stick
Genus: magnum
Species: mint magnum
This is the longest day everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
June 21, 2025 at 8:39 AM
This is the longest day everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Reposted by Kay Woodward
The 3 stages of British people and the weather.
1. WHERE IS THE SUN? WHY IS IT RAINING? WILL WE EVER SEE SUNSHINE? BRITISH WEATHER SUCKS!
2. YAY! SUNSHINE! SO HAPPY!
3. IT'S TOO HOT. I THINK THE HEAT WILL KILL ME! I WILL LITERALLY DIE FROM THE HOT. WILL WE EVER SEE RAIN AGAIN?
1. WHERE IS THE SUN? WHY IS IT RAINING? WILL WE EVER SEE SUNSHINE? BRITISH WEATHER SUCKS!
2. YAY! SUNSHINE! SO HAPPY!
3. IT'S TOO HOT. I THINK THE HEAT WILL KILL ME! I WILL LITERALLY DIE FROM THE HOT. WILL WE EVER SEE RAIN AGAIN?
June 18, 2025 at 3:20 PM
The 3 stages of British people and the weather.
1. WHERE IS THE SUN? WHY IS IT RAINING? WILL WE EVER SEE SUNSHINE? BRITISH WEATHER SUCKS!
2. YAY! SUNSHINE! SO HAPPY!
3. IT'S TOO HOT. I THINK THE HEAT WILL KILL ME! I WILL LITERALLY DIE FROM THE HOT. WILL WE EVER SEE RAIN AGAIN?
1. WHERE IS THE SUN? WHY IS IT RAINING? WILL WE EVER SEE SUNSHINE? BRITISH WEATHER SUCKS!
2. YAY! SUNSHINE! SO HAPPY!
3. IT'S TOO HOT. I THINK THE HEAT WILL KILL ME! I WILL LITERALLY DIE FROM THE HOT. WILL WE EVER SEE RAIN AGAIN?
If ever a husband should have been born in the telegraph era, it's this one.
June 18, 2025 at 4:59 AM
If ever a husband should have been born in the telegraph era, it's this one.
Take glasses off. Put contact lenses in. Put glasses on. WHAT’S GOING ON??! WHY CAN’T I SEEEEEEEEE?
Oh. 🤭
Oh. 🤭
June 16, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Take glasses off. Put contact lenses in. Put glasses on. WHAT’S GOING ON??! WHY CAN’T I SEEEEEEEEE?
Oh. 🤭
Oh. 🤭
If you haven’t already signed, please do.
Off on an adventure- today to Borders Book Festival in Melrose, tomorrow to Alnmouth Literary Festival. I will be talking about #sophiefromromania and trying to get people to sign the #parkypetition - nearly 45,000 signatures now, how many by Sunday evening? petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...
June 14, 2025 at 5:59 AM
If you haven’t already signed, please do.
I don't think I have EVER felt more honoured, @garethpjones.bsky.social! I might go and drop a few more socks to celebrate! 🧦🧦🧦
June 11, 2025 at 10:38 AM
I don't think I have EVER felt more honoured, @garethpjones.bsky.social! I might go and drop a few more socks to celebrate! 🧦🧦🧦
If there's a word for the smell after rain, surely there's also one for picking up too much washing and dropping one thing and bending down to pick that thing up and dropping another thing and so on and so on? #petrichor #washingpffft
June 11, 2025 at 8:40 AM
If there's a word for the smell after rain, surely there's also one for picking up too much washing and dropping one thing and bending down to pick that thing up and dropping another thing and so on and so on? #petrichor #washingpffft
Reposted by Kay Woodward
Can I ask a practical question at this point? Are we still going to Mars?
June 5, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Can I ask a practical question at this point? Are we still going to Mars?
Does holding a book group meeting in a shark tank with a miniature hammerhead hanging off your nose count as an anxiety dream? 🤔 #ALevelseason
June 6, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Does holding a book group meeting in a shark tank with a miniature hammerhead hanging off your nose count as an anxiety dream? 🤔 #ALevelseason
Watching offspring do A-Levels. Trying desperately to project Sophie Raworth’s aura of calm, while hiding the fact that I’m 100% Mrs Bennet from P&P.
June 5, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Watching offspring do A-Levels. Trying desperately to project Sophie Raworth’s aura of calm, while hiding the fact that I’m 100% Mrs Bennet from P&P.
Could there BE a better song to blast on the way to a History A Level…? (Tudors, obvs.)
#Tudors #tenpoletudor #tuuune
youtu.be/oyhyboUc0FM
#Tudors #tenpoletudor #tuuune
youtu.be/oyhyboUc0FM
Sword of a Thousand men-tempole tudor(letra/lyric)
YouTube video by Letras
youtu.be
May 23, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Could there BE a better song to blast on the way to a History A Level…? (Tudors, obvs.)
#Tudors #tenpoletudor #tuuune
youtu.be/oyhyboUc0FM
#Tudors #tenpoletudor #tuuune
youtu.be/oyhyboUc0FM
Deciduous is the most boring word that I have ever repeatedly misspelled. (I had to correct this one too.) 🌳🙄
May 22, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Deciduous is the most boring word that I have ever repeatedly misspelled. (I had to correct this one too.) 🌳🙄
Aaaaaaand on today’s Decision Maths A Level playlist, we have…
youtu.be/h4-lKMGII_k
#makingyourmindup #bucksfizz #maths
youtu.be/h4-lKMGII_k
#makingyourmindup #bucksfizz #maths
Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up
YouTube video by BucksFizzVEVO
youtu.be
May 15, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Aaaaaaand on today’s Decision Maths A Level playlist, we have…
youtu.be/h4-lKMGII_k
#makingyourmindup #bucksfizz #maths
youtu.be/h4-lKMGII_k
#makingyourmindup #bucksfizz #maths
This is an appropriate message for someone sitting a Psychology A-level paper this afternoon, right?
May 13, 2025 at 9:21 AM
This is an appropriate message for someone sitting a Psychology A-level paper this afternoon, right?
Every conversation on FB Marketplace.
Them: Is this still for sale?
Me: Yes. Are you interested?
Them: Last price?
Me: Come up with a number a bit less than the number artificially boosted to take into account imminent price drop.
Them: Number so low you couldn't limbo under it.
Me: No.
Them:
Them: Is this still for sale?
Me: Yes. Are you interested?
Them: Last price?
Me: Come up with a number a bit less than the number artificially boosted to take into account imminent price drop.
Them: Number so low you couldn't limbo under it.
Me: No.
Them:
May 11, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Every conversation on FB Marketplace.
Them: Is this still for sale?
Me: Yes. Are you interested?
Them: Last price?
Me: Come up with a number a bit less than the number artificially boosted to take into account imminent price drop.
Them: Number so low you couldn't limbo under it.
Me: No.
Them:
Them: Is this still for sale?
Me: Yes. Are you interested?
Them: Last price?
Me: Come up with a number a bit less than the number artificially boosted to take into account imminent price drop.
Them: Number so low you couldn't limbo under it.
Me: No.
Them:
🤭
Peripheroles. Cream cakes seen out of the corner of your eye.
May 5, 2025 at 2:37 PM
🤭
Bought the audiobook of @johnhiggs.bsky.social’s Exterminate/Regenerate primarily to keep my husband happy on long walks, so delighted to discover that I love it too! #doctorwho #exterminate/regenerate #waitingforthebitwiththejellybabies
May 3, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Bought the audiobook of @johnhiggs.bsky.social’s Exterminate/Regenerate primarily to keep my husband happy on long walks, so delighted to discover that I love it too! #doctorwho #exterminate/regenerate #waitingforthebitwiththejellybabies
'Xylem' has far too many consonants for its own good.
April 29, 2025 at 12:32 PM
'Xylem' has far too many consonants for its own good.
Reposted by Kay Woodward
There it is. The clam before the storm.
April 23, 2025 at 2:21 AM
There it is. The clam before the storm.
Reposted by Kay Woodward
The existence of Tim Curry and Tim Rice leads me to hope that somewhere there is a Tim Naan.
April 14, 2025 at 12:29 PM
The existence of Tim Curry and Tim Rice leads me to hope that somewhere there is a Tim Naan.
What’s that you say? My youngest niece has no holiday reading?!!!
Panic over! ‘Boys Don’t Knit’ by @tomeaston.bsky.social
is now en route! 🧶😅
uk.bookshop.org/p/books/boys...
Panic over! ‘Boys Don’t Knit’ by @tomeaston.bsky.social
is now en route! 🧶😅
uk.bookshop.org/p/books/boys...
Boys Don't Knit a book by Tom Easton.
Meet Ben Fletcher, an Adrian Mole for a new generationBen Fletcher must get to grips with his more 'feminine' side following an unfortunate incident with a lollipop lady and a stolen bottle of Martini...
uk.bookshop.org
April 12, 2025 at 10:30 AM
What’s that you say? My youngest niece has no holiday reading?!!!
Panic over! ‘Boys Don’t Knit’ by @tomeaston.bsky.social
is now en route! 🧶😅
uk.bookshop.org/p/books/boys...
Panic over! ‘Boys Don’t Knit’ by @tomeaston.bsky.social
is now en route! 🧶😅
uk.bookshop.org/p/books/boys...