Hayley Centimetres
@jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Somewhat retired film critic. hayley_sass from twitter. Largely sharing in-jokes with my old internet pals, sorry 🐨🍉📽️🥅 DON’T SEND ME DMs I can’t view them because Bloosky hates Australia
I’ve been putting my utilitarian (read: shitty) crafting skills to work making cat blankets for the animal shelter my mum volunteers at and the first was delivered this week, turns out the cats don’t care if you can only plain knit and drop stitches as long as they can be Snug
February 1, 2026 at 2:01 AM
I’ve been putting my utilitarian (read: shitty) crafting skills to work making cat blankets for the animal shelter my mum volunteers at and the first was delivered this week, turns out the cats don’t care if you can only plain knit and drop stitches as long as they can be Snug
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
"I watched it so you don't have to"
I don't have to watch anything, I watched a sexy Italian murder mystery from 1972 on Tubi, I didn't know what you were watching, sounds bad
I don't have to watch anything, I watched a sexy Italian murder mystery from 1972 on Tubi, I didn't know what you were watching, sounds bad
January 31, 2026 at 11:25 PM
"I watched it so you don't have to"
I don't have to watch anything, I watched a sexy Italian murder mystery from 1972 on Tubi, I didn't know what you were watching, sounds bad
I don't have to watch anything, I watched a sexy Italian murder mystery from 1972 on Tubi, I didn't know what you were watching, sounds bad
Please promise me if you have never seen any SCTV to glut yourself on it today, there’s so much on youtube and in a cast of wall-to-wall absolute comedy weapons Catherine O’Hara was MERCILESS the funniest to ever do it
January 30, 2026 at 10:59 PM
Please promise me if you have never seen any SCTV to glut yourself on it today, there’s so much on youtube and in a cast of wall-to-wall absolute comedy weapons Catherine O’Hara was MERCILESS the funniest to ever do it
Where were you when Carlos Alcaraz psychologically destroyed the worst man in tennis
January 30, 2026 at 9:22 AM
Where were you when Carlos Alcaraz psychologically destroyed the worst man in tennis
SOLD OUT CHUNGKING EXPRESS MOLLS, LET’S FUCKING GO TONY TIME!!!!!!!!
January 29, 2026 at 7:30 AM
SOLD OUT CHUNGKING EXPRESS MOLLS, LET’S FUCKING GO TONY TIME!!!!!!!!
I’m very bad at remembering to take photos/videos at gigs because I’m a sicko loser who does stupid shit like ‘try to live in the moment’ and if I do remember any photos I take are bad, so you just have to trust in me that last night’s CMAT show was transcendent and restored my will to live
January 28, 2026 at 10:42 PM
I’m very bad at remembering to take photos/videos at gigs because I’m a sicko loser who does stupid shit like ‘try to live in the moment’ and if I do remember any photos I take are bad, so you just have to trust in me that last night’s CMAT show was transcendent and restored my will to live
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
Invasion Day in Perth was targeted with a homemade explosive device yesterday. Aboriginal communities are under threat from neo-Nazis, racists and white supremacists. Yet politicians don't write special laws to combat hatred and violence against them. thewest.com.au/news/perth/i...
Cops say potential explosive device thrown into Oz Day crowd
WA Police are investigating what they’ve called a ‘very, very serious’ incident at Perth’s Invasion Day rally in which a potential explosive device was thrown into a crowd.
thewest.com.au
January 26, 2026 at 10:42 PM
Invasion Day in Perth was targeted with a homemade explosive device yesterday. Aboriginal communities are under threat from neo-Nazis, racists and white supremacists. Yet politicians don't write special laws to combat hatred and violence against them. thewest.com.au/news/perth/i...
I’ve got to get out of marketing, I just sat through an agency presso where they used the phrase “brand encounters” multiple times to describe an event I cannot express enough I never want to “encounter” a brand
January 27, 2026 at 12:36 AM
I’ve got to get out of marketing, I just sat through an agency presso where they used the phrase “brand encounters” multiple times to describe an event I cannot express enough I never want to “encounter” a brand
This Invasion Day I’d like to remind everyone living on stolen land that 1) any nation or institution born out of colonialism is not worth preserving or saving, and 2) if your revolutionary practice does not include staunchly listening to and supporting First Nations peoples 🎶 it’s not worth shit 🎶
January 25, 2026 at 10:53 PM
This Invasion Day I’d like to remind everyone living on stolen land that 1) any nation or institution born out of colonialism is not worth preserving or saving, and 2) if your revolutionary practice does not include staunchly listening to and supporting First Nations peoples 🎶 it’s not worth shit 🎶
Visiting the parentals and the neighbouring town has a book sale on all long weekend to fundraise for the local library and I would say I went too large if it was at all possible to buy too many books
January 25, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Visiting the parentals and the neighbouring town has a book sale on all long weekend to fundraise for the local library and I would say I went too large if it was at all possible to buy too many books
Me all through No Other Choice [please imagine the gif of De Niro in Cape Fear disruptively laughing in the cinema, or at a pinch Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons parody of same because this godforesaken platform provides you with neither]
January 22, 2026 at 10:12 AM
Me all through No Other Choice [please imagine the gif of De Niro in Cape Fear disruptively laughing in the cinema, or at a pinch Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons parody of same because this godforesaken platform provides you with neither]
Doing that thing that happens to me at every workplace where I introduce seemingly new words or sayings into the general team lexicon, one colleague in particular has been excited today to discover “obdurate”
January 22, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Doing that thing that happens to me at every workplace where I introduce seemingly new words or sayings into the general team lexicon, one colleague in particular has been excited today to discover “obdurate”
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
Yes. Yes!! This is exactly the kind of thing that's been missing from movies. We haven't had comedians meeting Frankenstein
Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell are developing a horror comedy film titled ‘KENAN & KEL MEET FRANKENSTEIN’
The film follows 2 delivery drivers whose routine drop-off takes a terrifying turn when they arrive at a castle and accidentally awaken Frankenstein’s monster.
The film follows 2 delivery drivers whose routine drop-off takes a terrifying turn when they arrive at a castle and accidentally awaken Frankenstein’s monster.
January 21, 2026 at 5:47 AM
Yes. Yes!! This is exactly the kind of thing that's been missing from movies. We haven't had comedians meeting Frankenstein
*bangs fists on tables* poo balls poo BALLS POO BALLS www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
New poo balls on Sydney beaches after revelation of huge fatberg stuck in treatment plant
Exclusive: Sydney Water erects sign at Malabar beach near wastewater facility stating area ‘may be affected by sewage debris balls’
www.theguardian.com
January 21, 2026 at 1:25 AM
*bangs fists on tables* poo balls poo BALLS POO BALLS www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
The main problem with this new job is that I’ve come in at the end for the last months of a long-running project, so I’m surrounded by people who know every minute detail and everyone assumes I also know every detail, but I can’t stress enough I know NOTHING and no one TELLS me anything
January 21, 2026 at 12:12 AM
The main problem with this new job is that I’ve come in at the end for the last months of a long-running project, so I’m surrounded by people who know every minute detail and everyone assumes I also know every detail, but I can’t stress enough I know NOTHING and no one TELLS me anything
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)
January 20, 2026 at 9:25 PM
we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)
I think about the crispy shiitake rice balls from Ume Nomiya, a restaurant in Fitzroy that closed in 2008, at least once every few weeks
Sunday night timeline cleanse
please tell me about your favorite lost restaurant (closed for at least 5 years, like I really want you to go back into the vault), why you loved it and what you ate there
please tell me about your favorite lost restaurant (closed for at least 5 years, like I really want you to go back into the vault), why you loved it and what you ate there
January 19, 2026 at 2:25 AM
I think about the crispy shiitake rice balls from Ume Nomiya, a restaurant in Fitzroy that closed in 2008, at least once every few weeks
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
I really wish that more of the response to the whole Greenland situation was "Greenland is already colonized and cannot gain anything from its colonial rule being switched from one malevolent racist nation to another."
Kalaallit, Inughuit and Tunumiit should be free, autonomous people.
Kalaallit, Inughuit and Tunumiit should be free, autonomous people.
January 17, 2026 at 9:13 PM
I really wish that more of the response to the whole Greenland situation was "Greenland is already colonized and cannot gain anything from its colonial rule being switched from one malevolent racist nation to another."
Kalaallit, Inughuit and Tunumiit should be free, autonomous people.
Kalaallit, Inughuit and Tunumiit should be free, autonomous people.
I keep having friends who have watched the horny hockey show asking me about actual hockey (being Australians I am general the only person they know who watches hockey) and it’s like I dunno guys do you love pain, do you love dying of secondhand embarrassment, cannot recommend this as a Flyers fan
January 17, 2026 at 10:43 PM
I keep having friends who have watched the horny hockey show asking me about actual hockey (being Australians I am general the only person they know who watches hockey) and it’s like I dunno guys do you love pain, do you love dying of secondhand embarrassment, cannot recommend this as a Flyers fan
Went to a vintage bazaar today that was in so huge a warehouse that I got a bit overwhelmed but was stoked to find a Christie I haven’t read yet with this boss movie tie-in cover featuring my namesake
January 17, 2026 at 5:18 AM
Went to a vintage bazaar today that was in so huge a warehouse that I got a bit overwhelmed but was stoked to find a Christie I haven’t read yet with this boss movie tie-in cover featuring my namesake
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
I wish the Skarsgards had a Keeping Up With the Kardashians style show where they all eat salads and lament things
January 16, 2026 at 11:01 PM
I wish the Skarsgards had a Keeping Up With the Kardashians style show where they all eat salads and lament things
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
Imagine doing a PhD in electricity, just so you knew how to blow up nuclear power plants and heavy water-producing facilities.
“I learned from them very early that what one does with Nazis is kill them... I am not a pacifist.”
A profile in absolute courage.
“I learned from them very early that what one does with Nazis is kill them... I am not a pacifist.”
A profile in absolute courage.
January 15, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Imagine doing a PhD in electricity, just so you knew how to blow up nuclear power plants and heavy water-producing facilities.
“I learned from them very early that what one does with Nazis is kill them... I am not a pacifist.”
A profile in absolute courage.
“I learned from them very early that what one does with Nazis is kill them... I am not a pacifist.”
A profile in absolute courage.
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
![groucho marx: i've been busy all day, i haven't even had time to think.
chico: why?
groucho: my shadow beast - or doppelganger - escaped from its prison. on a rampage.
chico: wait, which one is it? shadow beast or doppelganger?
groucho: i'll tell you, when i've had time to think.
chico: so you're not thinking right now?
groucho: i'm talking to you, aren't i?
[ELSEWHERE]
high class lady looking over a pile of bodies torn apart by a shadow beast, or doppelganger: oh, this just won't do at ALL.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:35eccnxm5yqj547shcagl6bx/bafkreihjsmvj2jnmp2ubdqulpp5jqjsyt7rwm5ditp3etlgfs5zynea7ka@jpeg)
It has been a terrible day for news and I was really grasping to hear about something nice, cannot transcribe the noise I made at finding out that the fat parrots are about to go SEXY MODE www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...
Berry nice to meet you: bumper fruit crop could lead to huge mating season for NZ’s endangered kākāpō
After a four-year wait, the abundant fruiting of the rimu tree could inspire the world’s heaviest parrots to boost their population
www.theguardian.com
January 13, 2026 at 6:59 AM
It has been a terrible day for news and I was really grasping to hear about something nice, cannot transcribe the noise I made at finding out that the fat parrots are about to go SEXY MODE www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...
Reposted by Hayley Centimetres
I'm very sad and angry that the Zionist lobby succeeded in taking Louise Adler out of her position - it was clearly the end goal of this malicious attack on AWW to remove a prominent Jewish critic of Israel from her position of influence - but this is an absolutely banging resignation
January 13, 2026 at 3:31 AM
I'm very sad and angry that the Zionist lobby succeeded in taking Louise Adler out of her position - it was clearly the end goal of this malicious attack on AWW to remove a prominent Jewish critic of Israel from her position of influence - but this is an absolutely banging resignation