Hayley Centimetres
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jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Hayley Centimetres
@jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
220 followers 150 following 3.4K posts
Somewhat retired film critic. hayley_sass from twitter. Largely sharing in-jokes with my old internet pals, sorry 🐨🍉📽️🥅
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jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
A friend was telling me today about how a possum broke into her wardrobe via a hole in her house’s roof and she opened the wardrobe doors to discover the fluffy guy RUSTLING THROUGH HER SMALLS DRAWER (possum reference photo for the benefit of the North American cohort)
An Australian brushtail possum sitting on a tree branch. They are mostly chill guys but you wouldn’t want to find one in your roof let alone among your smalls.
November 10, 2025 at 12:02 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Went on a little road trip with @andersf.bsky.social yesterday to Kyneton and Castlemaine, ate a highly awarded pie, hung out with @cinemelo.bsky.social and her chickens, and went to Pride, struggling to picture a better time that could be had
A mushroom ragu pie on a white plate, outset by a squeezy packet of tomato sauce. Three chickens, one fluffy and orange cream coloured, the second dappled grey, and the third white and black speckled, mill about pecking at the grass. Their names are Norma Rae, Lily Tomlin and Lulu. A white lady with short brown hair smiles in a blue t-shirt with a rainbow and gum tree blossoms motive and the words Castlemaine Pride on it.
November 9, 2025 at 5:07 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Indicative of the general temporal confusion of Halloween in Australia, this was the major display at the supermarket where I just bought immense amounts of mini chocolate bars in a panic
A piled display of Christmas puddings and mini panettones advertised with a chalkboard drawing of a happy pudding with the words “All good in the pud.”
October 31, 2025 at 12:14 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Some incredible intertitles from last night’s watch of Speedy (1928) and also some Babe Ruth because this film also asks “hey why NOT some Babe Ruth”
Silent film intertitle that reads “When a boy loses his job, buys a new suit and takes a girl to Coney Island, he’s either insane or in love - - and there’s not much difference.” Silent film intertitle which reads “You thief! It’s men like you that make women afraid to wear underwear.” Silent film intertitle which reads “Pop’s slightly deaf and he can’t hear a word you say - - till you get up to a hundred thousand.” Baseball great Babe Ruth starting to look nervous seated in the back of Harold Lloyd’s taxi cab, he’s right to look nervous he’s about to experience a billion near accidents on the streets of New York as Harold careens towards ‘The Yankee Stadium’.
October 28, 2025 at 1:04 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Black Narcissus is once more on World Movies which means I am hooting and hollering every time David Farrar is strolling around in his short shorts
Still from Black Narcissus where David Farrar is getting his pins out in front of nuns. At least this time he’s in his own home (in the company of a monkey and, improbably for India, a cockatoo) but given he’s just in his short shorts and his tea table is placed just so, ol’ David may as well be naked. BARE CHESTED AND LEGGED IN FRONT OF A WHOLE ROOM OF NUNS! THE HAT DOES NOTHING!
October 24, 2025 at 12:01 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Truly phenomenal (oh and here it is for everyone else lol)
Photo of maybe the best tofu banh mi I’ve ever had. Chilli! Crispy bits! Coriander! BREAD!
October 23, 2025 at 12:48 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Secondly, this is why we need healthy states of criticism, televised culture programs and physical publications so creatives are once more free to physically attack critics with their own newspaper in full view of the public
In reference to Russell’s notorious film The Devils, text reads: British film critic Alexander Walker described the film as “monstrously indecent” in a television confrontation with Russell, leasing the director to hit him with a rolled up copy of the Evening Standard, the newspaper for which Walker worked.
October 22, 2025 at 9:31 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Good morning, I had cause to look up Ken Russell’s wikipedia entry and want to bring you all two glorious things from it, firstly this photo of Andre de Toth, Russell and Michael Caine on set in Finland for a film called Billion Dollar Brain (it was not a financial success, apparently)
Black and white photograph of producer Andre de Toth, with his signature eye patch, director Ken Russell in a fluffy hat and a camera lens hanging around his neck, and actor Michael Caine in his signature 60s black framed glasses standing about on set. Everyone is in big heavy coats and look cold.
October 22, 2025 at 9:25 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Indoor birthday picnic was a GREAT SUCCESS I had such a good time and love all my friends very much and it’s very important you all see the ESCALATION in the Gritty art that @lizbarr.bsky.social gifts me every year
A hand holds up an artwork in a white frame that features three watercolour renditions of the Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty. A GRIPTYCH if you will.
October 18, 2025 at 9:27 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
This guide has photos instead of drawings for all the birds, which I prefer as it’s easier to ID whatever you may have seen, and my favourite entry is for the buff-breasted button-quail aka the only Australian bird to never have been photographed, so there’s just a photo of where you might find one
The photographic entry for the buff-breasted button-quail, which features some far north Queensland tropical woodland where you MIGHT spot one of these little mates but good bloody luck they’re very tiny and illusive.
October 16, 2025 at 3:35 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
This is some fuck university, get your kids apprenticed in a trade right fucking NOW shit
A white plate with a sad small SQUARE - not a beautiful long oblong that you could have used to bean a child on the head by lobbing it across the dining hall - of Ikea garlic bread on it.
October 14, 2025 at 3:08 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Important update: Momos
A bowl of Nepalese momos in a ring topped with spicy sauce and scattered microherbs with a little salad of rocket and chopped tomato in the middle. This is from Elektra on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy.
October 10, 2025 at 1:19 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Still thinking about their faces!
A still from the film The Small Back Room of the actors Kathleen Byron and David Farrar, the light of the photo seemingly emanating from their faces, a glow in the pitch black.
October 9, 2025 at 10:25 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
You need a jaffle iron to safely ENCASE THE BEAN
A four sandwich jaffle iron that creates sandwiches with crimped edges so the fillings - like delicious baked beans - don’t escape. I love a jaffle but warning jaffle irons are an absolute bastard to clean.
October 8, 2025 at 10:01 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Mum’s garden was doing some incredible it’s spring, fuckos areas during the footy long weekend
A flowering crabapple with buds that start a shockingly vibrant pink but as they open turn into a papery white. A HUGE mound of flowering jasmine (which was only one part of a simply enormous vine that now completely covers the two water tanks next to the shed). Some flowering lavender (I think it’s Spanish lavender because it has the long twisty top flowers) and if you look closely you can see bees! A beautiful dark pink flowering tree, apologies I don’t know what type of tree this one is, probably a flowering fruit maybe a plum?
September 29, 2025 at 12:13 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Good morning, a gentle reminder
A screencap of the post interaction settings options on Bluesky. I have my posts set to not allow quote posts and to only allow users I follow to reply to my posts, but there are also options for you to set replies to mentioned users only, your followers only, everybody or nobody at all. You can also set default interaction settings by going to Settings - Moderation - Interaction settings and I have indeed done this, it fucking rules, never have a bloosky rando talk wild business at you ever again.
September 26, 2025 at 11:01 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
COS YOU ASKED SO NICELY
The biggest quenelle of ricotta mandarin gelato you have ever seen in your LIFE next to a big fluffy wodge of tiramisu.
September 21, 2025 at 12:37 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Sorry to use this microblogging site like Instagram (which I am ineffectually trying to quit) but I had one of the best meals of my life last night and am lying in bed thinking about crepes in broth and fresh morel mushrooms and tearing up
An arrangement of fresh spring vegetables like broad beans, peas, asparagus, artichokes and herbs on a bed of ricotta and olive oil. Abruzzese crepes in herby chicken broth (“wait Hayley I thought you were vegetarian?” shut UP), these were so good we immediately ordered a second serving. Handmade cavatelli pasta in a bright green cima di rapa sauce with anchovies (SHUT UP) and pecorino. We had the option to add freshly picked morel mushrooms to the pasta so of course we did. Beautiful crispy herby salty roasted potatoes, perfection. Because I have hit this app’s photo limited I cannot also add the photo of dessert - tiramisu and ricotta gelato threaded with fat seams of candied mandarin - but trust it was phenomenal.
September 21, 2025 at 12:01 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
…as this slick but empty guy hired to fire a whole Depression-era railway town, you have to believe that this cynical, Judas goat of a man will end up throwing it all away for Natalie Wood’s delusional, damaged ‘town entertainment’. I don’t think anyone else could have sold that half as well
Robert Redford in the 1966 film This Property is Condemned leaning away from a dinner table over the back of a chair in his rolled up shirtsleeves and tie and gazing intently at someone who has just entered the room blurred out of frame, and boy he sure looks like a whole lot of SOMETHING.
September 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Also maybe no one else has looked as cool behind a camera
Cinematographer James Wong Howe sitting behind a big camera resting an arm on it while in a shirt, tie and suspenders and smoking a pipe, he’s cool as all hell.
September 8, 2025 at 12:10 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Bloody ripper day for some women’s footy in the company of your entire footy group chat let me tell you
A photo of the Carlton goals at Ikon Park in Naarm during the Western Bulldogs v Carlton Blues women’s AFLW game.
September 6, 2025 at 5:55 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Mates we knocked it out of the PARK for Sandwich Friday today, thank you again to Pickles the finest of vegan sandwich purveyors
A cutaway of the Wake Me When September Ends sandwich special at Pickles. A hand holding the Wake Me When September Ends sandwich special at Pickles with the sun particularly glinting off the slaw. A hand holding the other half of the Wake Me When September Ends sandwich special while another pair of hands in the background deals with half of a Damn Caesar. The Wake Me When September Ends sandwich special as it appear listed on the wall menu at Pickles. The sandwich comprises of vegan schnitzel, smokey chipotle sauce, house-made salsa verde, green slaw, coriander mayo, served on a fresh baguette. You can also opt in to pickled jalapeños. The listing is decorated with a cut out of the band Green Day and an emo Hello Kitty.
September 5, 2025 at 4:12 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
Me fruitlessly trying to convince my therapist it’s just not worth talking about some traumas
A screencap of an article about Formula One from the Guardian with the headline “Oscar Piastri: A lot of emotions are not that helpful.”
August 31, 2025 at 2:09 AM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
1000 WOMEN IN HORROR: A actual real honour to be at the premiere of Donna Davies and Alexandra Heller-Nicholas’ rollercoaster ride through women and horror films, always fun, always defiant, and it was just a treat to see the whole Capitol rapturously celebrating @horrornonna.com AS SHE DESERVES!
The stage of the Capitol theatre with the big MIFF Q&A screen behind and in the foreground are seated horror queen Alexandra Heller-Nicholas, director Donna Davies and moderator Sally Ritchie. They are all EXTREMELY COOL.
August 21, 2025 at 11:53 PM
jasmineandthyme.bsky.social
S O O N #ItsSpringFuckos
Close up photo of some violently pink cherry blossom on an otherwise largely bare stick tree with a grey winter sky behind. Soon my loves SOON.
August 15, 2025 at 12:46 AM