Rick (the P is silent)
@jalapenoenema.bsky.social
I said brick. Not penis.
Pinned
The title of my autobiography will be:
Simple Chicken Lasagne recipe (serves 4-6)
Simple Chicken Lasagne recipe (serves 4-6)
Reposted by Rick (the P is silent)
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
June 12, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
After almost 15 years of awkward, stunted conversation, I've finally bonded with my BiL, we popped in to see my Outlaws and he was visiting and had put Interstellar on the TV. Now we're best friends. Thank you Christopher Nolan.
November 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
After almost 15 years of awkward, stunted conversation, I've finally bonded with my BiL, we popped in to see my Outlaws and he was visiting and had put Interstellar on the TV. Now we're best friends. Thank you Christopher Nolan.
My only fear about dying is that my mum will choose my burial outfit and I'll have to spend the afterlife dressed like a twat.
November 15, 2025 at 5:37 PM
My only fear about dying is that my mum will choose my burial outfit and I'll have to spend the afterlife dressed like a twat.
Reposted by Rick (the P is silent)
When I’m in a new place sometimes I poke what I’m about to sit on. Have to make sure it’s not Daniel Day Lewis, John Malkovich, or Gary Oldman.
November 15, 2025 at 5:29 PM
When I’m in a new place sometimes I poke what I’m about to sit on. Have to make sure it’s not Daniel Day Lewis, John Malkovich, or Gary Oldman.
Reposted by Rick (the P is silent)
As long as it makes you happy.
November 14, 2025 at 10:17 PM
As long as it makes you happy.
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only
November 15, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only
Reposted by Rick (the P is silent)
Your honor, permission to do the jerk-off motion
November 14, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Your honor, permission to do the jerk-off motion
I must have missed the memo, when did looking where you're going become optional in public places?
November 15, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I must have missed the memo, when did looking where you're going become optional in public places?
American Psycho, and chill?
November 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
American Psycho, and chill?
"Anyone else with an execution fetish?" Is not a sentence I ever imagined reading but here we are.
November 15, 2025 at 1:17 AM
"Anyone else with an execution fetish?" Is not a sentence I ever imagined reading but here we are.
I haven't done one of these stream of consciousness posts for ages. Although only people who read them would notice anyway. And that's me.
November 15, 2025 at 1:04 AM
I haven't done one of these stream of consciousness posts for ages. Although only people who read them would notice anyway. And that's me.
Might fall back on one of the old classics and get my tits out.
November 15, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Might fall back on one of the old classics and get my tits out.
Spiced rum and 200mg edibles are not a good combo, they're making me really fucking emo tonight.
November 15, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Spiced rum and 200mg edibles are not a good combo, they're making me really fucking emo tonight.
The reason nobody has ever made a parody account of mine is because my whole life is one.
November 15, 2025 at 1:01 AM
The reason nobody has ever made a parody account of mine is because my whole life is one.
It was so bleak that I watched This is England and Dead Man's Shoes to cheer me up afterwards.
November 15, 2025 at 12:55 AM
It was so bleak that I watched This is England and Dead Man's Shoes to cheer me up afterwards.
After 40 years, I recently rewatched Threads. It's so fucking bleak that it actually broke my depression, I've been feeling pretty good of late.
I've also revised my nuclear apocalypse survival plan:
Don't survive.
I've also revised my nuclear apocalypse survival plan:
Don't survive.
November 15, 2025 at 12:55 AM
After 40 years, I recently rewatched Threads. It's so fucking bleak that it actually broke my depression, I've been feeling pretty good of late.
I've also revised my nuclear apocalypse survival plan:
Don't survive.
I've also revised my nuclear apocalypse survival plan:
Don't survive.
The house move went well, thanks for asking.
November 15, 2025 at 12:16 AM
The house move went well, thanks for asking.
November 14, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Youth Hostelers give terrible parenting adcice
November 14, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Youth Hostelers give terrible parenting adcice
I'm actually delighted that we have no internet in the new house yet, we've been watching live TV most nights and I just saw an advert for an investment firm that contained the best sentence I've ever heard:
"At Fisher Investments UK, we won't put you in a bucket"
"At Fisher Investments UK, we won't put you in a bucket"
November 13, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I'm actually delighted that we have no internet in the new house yet, we've been watching live TV most nights and I just saw an advert for an investment firm that contained the best sentence I've ever heard:
"At Fisher Investments UK, we won't put you in a bucket"
"At Fisher Investments UK, we won't put you in a bucket"
I had a fascinating conversation about russian literature and communism with one of the kids in my class today. He's 5.
November 12, 2025 at 8:54 PM
I had a fascinating conversation about russian literature and communism with one of the kids in my class today. He's 5.
Pierce Brosnan has never been sexier than in The Thursday Murder Club.
November 12, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Pierce Brosnan has never been sexier than in The Thursday Murder Club.
I've stayed up late watching Goldeneye for the 400th time just to see Pierce Brosnan drive a tank through a Perrier truck. I fucking hate that fizzy piss.
November 12, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I've stayed up late watching Goldeneye for the 400th time just to see Pierce Brosnan drive a tank through a Perrier truck. I fucking hate that fizzy piss.
It's a yellow k-way kind of a day
November 10, 2025 at 8:25 PM
It's a yellow k-way kind of a day
Reposted by Rick (the P is silent)
I always wear latex gloves when I chop jalapenos due to an unfortunate fingering incident with my wife back in 2007.
November 8, 2025 at 11:41 PM
I always wear latex gloves when I chop jalapenos due to an unfortunate fingering incident with my wife back in 2007.