hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
@izzygnosis.bsky.social
she/her. mid-30’s. somehow straight. upstate NY. magpie hedgewitch vibes. connoisseur of shitpost poetry. inconvenient bureaucrat. maximalist clutterbitch. icon picrew @grgikau
Pinned
Tattoo artist: *gently wipes down my arm with the cool cloth at the end*
Me: GOD, it feels so good, why is this the best part.
My brain: it’s AFTERCARE, you fucking bottom.
Me: GOD, it feels so good, why is this the best part.
My brain: it’s AFTERCARE, you fucking bottom.
LRS I’m still cackling about this, might watch Clue today
November 11, 2025 at 1:53 PM
LRS I’m still cackling about this, might watch Clue today
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
Is this funny
November 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Is this funny
Went to the gym since I get the holiday off…so many youths.
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Went to the gym since I get the holiday off…so many youths.
Oh shit! I didn’t realize our first snowfall was gonna be tonight!!
November 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Oh shit! I didn’t realize our first snowfall was gonna be tonight!!
On the plus side, a beautifully dreary grey day to drive home with dilated eyes
November 10, 2025 at 6:29 PM
On the plus side, a beautifully dreary grey day to drive home with dilated eyes
Gotta go see a glaucoma specialist in 6 months for my eye pressure. Eye pressure, blood pressure, is there anything in my body not under high pressure right now goddamnit
November 10, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Gotta go see a glaucoma specialist in 6 months for my eye pressure. Eye pressure, blood pressure, is there anything in my body not under high pressure right now goddamnit
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
if you were wondering how to prepare for a recession, the advice on the internet is “have a lot of liquid savings” and “don’t lose your job” 👍 very helpful, who could have predicted “having money saved” and “having income” would help a situation
November 10, 2025 at 4:34 PM
if you were wondering how to prepare for a recession, the advice on the internet is “have a lot of liquid savings” and “don’t lose your job” 👍 very helpful, who could have predicted “having money saved” and “having income” would help a situation
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
BREAKING: The Supreme Court DENIES former county clerk Kim Davis's request for the justices to take up her longshot bid to overturn 2015's Obergefell v. Hodges marriage equality decision. No justice even writes about the request.
November 10, 2025 at 2:34 PM
BREAKING: The Supreme Court DENIES former county clerk Kim Davis's request for the justices to take up her longshot bid to overturn 2015's Obergefell v. Hodges marriage equality decision. No justice even writes about the request.
You know I got bad eyes when I’m in a waiting room with three walkers and four canes.
November 10, 2025 at 4:35 PM
You know I got bad eyes when I’m in a waiting room with three walkers and four canes.
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
At the 45 minute mark and haven’t even been back to get my eyes dilated. I’ll probably be here until 2!
Eyes doctors office is wildly full….cant wait to see how long this appointment takes.
November 10, 2025 at 4:30 PM
At the 45 minute mark and haven’t even been back to get my eyes dilated. I’ll probably be here until 2!
Amanda at the dentist and me at my laser eye doctor today:
a man in a green shirt and a man in a black shirt are facing each other
ALT: a man in a green shirt and a man in a black shirt are facing each other
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Amanda at the dentist and me at my laser eye doctor today:
Eyes doctors office is wildly full….cant wait to see how long this appointment takes.
November 10, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Eyes doctors office is wildly full….cant wait to see how long this appointment takes.
Me: *slowly and meticulously putting tattoo balm on all my tattoos in the dry season*
Me: *can’t reach the one in the middle of my back*
Me: *can’t reach the one in the middle of my back*
a girl in a plaid skirt is walking down a sidewalk and says not you i don t even know you
ALT: a girl in a plaid skirt is walking down a sidewalk and says not you i don t even know you
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Me: *slowly and meticulously putting tattoo balm on all my tattoos in the dry season*
Me: *can’t reach the one in the middle of my back*
Me: *can’t reach the one in the middle of my back*
One of the flaws with wearing a onesie or a jumper is that when you go to the bathroom, you always look like you’re about to take the most life-changing shit because you immediately strip down to the nude.
November 9, 2025 at 11:51 PM
One of the flaws with wearing a onesie or a jumper is that when you go to the bathroom, you always look like you’re about to take the most life-changing shit because you immediately strip down to the nude.
Nick is my ride or die, I love him so much. I was looking at cider and couldn’t decide what flavor I wanted so he bought the other pack and we split them 🥰
November 9, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Nick is my ride or die, I love him so much. I was looking at cider and couldn’t decide what flavor I wanted so he bought the other pack and we split them 🥰
I did it, I brought dessert home
November 9, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I did it, I brought dessert home
ARE WE AT THE GERMAN BRAUHAUS AGAIN? YES WE ARE
November 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
ARE WE AT THE GERMAN BRAUHAUS AGAIN? YES WE ARE
Spooky morning majesty
November 9, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Spooky morning majesty
All female firefighter calendars have left NZ 🫡 a Christmachanukah miracle may still happen
November 8, 2025 at 11:18 PM
All female firefighter calendars have left NZ 🫡 a Christmachanukah miracle may still happen
Is this funny
November 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Is this funny
This shit SLAPS
November 8, 2025 at 7:54 PM
This shit SLAPS
I’m putting together a team to perform a heist….
We’re going to steal the abominable snow monster
We’re going to steal the abominable snow monster
November 8, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I’m putting together a team to perform a heist….
We’re going to steal the abominable snow monster
We’re going to steal the abominable snow monster
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
Oh, that ending. Perfection.
New York millionaires: threatening to flee the city since 2009
November 8, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Oh, that ending. Perfection.
Reposted by hey liz, what in the immortal fuck?
40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion
November 8, 2025 at 4:23 AM
40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion