Idiot Kitchen
@idiotkitchen.bsky.social
I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot
federal agents infiltrated a cookout because they'd caught wind that Hebrew Nationals would be served there
February 15, 2026 at 4:22 PM
federal agents infiltrated a cookout because they'd caught wind that Hebrew Nationals would be served there
Yes, vapid consumerism is bad.
however,
IKEA feline canister
however,
IKEA feline canister
February 15, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Yes, vapid consumerism is bad.
however,
IKEA feline canister
however,
IKEA feline canister
Justice Team, hurry! A Costco Executive Club member is in trouble!
February 15, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Justice Team, hurry! A Costco Executive Club member is in trouble!
Buddha keeps texting me
February 15, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Buddha keeps texting me
Lot of eight (8) magical wands imbued with unknown effects (not tested)
high bid $25
high bid $25
February 15, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Lot of eight (8) magical wands imbued with unknown effects (not tested)
high bid $25
high bid $25
Making diabolical goulash in stoneware of unknown provenance
February 15, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Making diabolical goulash in stoneware of unknown provenance
me: casts the spell that makes your fingers all pruney as though you've been in the bathtub for an hour
The Wizard Council: 🤯
The Wizard Council: 🤯
February 15, 2026 at 3:36 AM
me: casts the spell that makes your fingers all pruney as though you've been in the bathtub for an hour
The Wizard Council: 🤯
The Wizard Council: 🤯
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
Have you said Happy Valentine's Day to your favorite video poker machine?
February 14, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Have you said Happy Valentine's Day to your favorite video poker machine?
I buy the decaf milk because my stomach gave up and now it's dumb
February 15, 2026 at 2:25 AM
I buy the decaf milk because my stomach gave up and now it's dumb
happy St Patrick's Day or whatever today
February 15, 2026 at 2:18 AM
happy St Patrick's Day or whatever today
*sniffs*
dawg, is that a fell miasma?
dawg, is that a fell miasma?
February 14, 2026 at 2:15 AM
*sniffs*
dawg, is that a fell miasma?
dawg, is that a fell miasma?
wanna chill in the poison-cursed fens later?
February 14, 2026 at 1:43 AM
wanna chill in the poison-cursed fens later?
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
bitchass pawn shop keeps casting Detect Curse on the obviously cursed amulets I keep bringing in
I don't care if it's "store policy," Brandon, you're still a bitch.
I'm gonna fettle down the spokes on your chariot's wheels
I don't care if it's "store policy," Brandon, you're still a bitch.
I'm gonna fettle down the spokes on your chariot's wheels
February 14, 2026 at 1:31 AM
bitchass pawn shop keeps casting Detect Curse on the obviously cursed amulets I keep bringing in
I don't care if it's "store policy," Brandon, you're still a bitch.
I'm gonna fettle down the spokes on your chariot's wheels
I don't care if it's "store policy," Brandon, you're still a bitch.
I'm gonna fettle down the spokes on your chariot's wheels
Me, cringe? No. I am, in fact, swagtacular
February 14, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Me, cringe? No. I am, in fact, swagtacular
nutritious meal 👎
going back to the box of Cheez-its in the pantry for a handful every 10 minutes 👍
going back to the box of Cheez-its in the pantry for a handful every 10 minutes 👍
February 14, 2026 at 1:21 AM
nutritious meal 👎
going back to the box of Cheez-its in the pantry for a handful every 10 minutes 👍
going back to the box of Cheez-its in the pantry for a handful every 10 minutes 👍
bring me the girthiest, sluttiest donut this place offers
I want that shit to put me on the floor
I want that shit to put me on the floor
February 14, 2026 at 1:14 AM
bring me the girthiest, sluttiest donut this place offers
I want that shit to put me on the floor
I want that shit to put me on the floor
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
Nondairy whipped topping (spackle)
February 13, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Nondairy whipped topping (spackle)
tujbe of gum
gum from a tube
squeeze it out
how much u want
gum from a tube
squeeze it out
how much u want
February 14, 2026 at 1:11 AM
tujbe of gum
gum from a tube
squeeze it out
how much u want
gum from a tube
squeeze it out
how much u want
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
sampling a Curious Elixir that will surely not Blast the Fuck out of mine Bodily Humours
February 14, 2026 at 1:01 AM
sampling a Curious Elixir that will surely not Blast the Fuck out of mine Bodily Humours
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
music hits different when it's actually prime-era mike tyson unleashing a barrage of deadly punches to your face and body
February 13, 2026 at 4:52 AM
music hits different when it's actually prime-era mike tyson unleashing a barrage of deadly punches to your face and body
Reposted by Idiot Kitchen
bro i heard u got dick miasma
February 13, 2026 at 11:51 PM
bro i heard u got dick miasma
building a siege ballista from discarded pallet wood and bungee cords to fire a nine foot steel bolt through the engine block of my stepdad's Chevrolet Monte Carlo
February 14, 2026 at 12:03 AM
building a siege ballista from discarded pallet wood and bungee cords to fire a nine foot steel bolt through the engine block of my stepdad's Chevrolet Monte Carlo