Oil is the most Lovecraftian thing that actually exists.

You're telling me that there's a black ichor under the earth made from the ancient dead, whose burning can realize all the dreams of man, but only at the price of slowly returning the earth to its primordial state?

when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.

I have a good friend who’s an ultra smart sailing guy. Captain of his own ship, great job, 6’2. Maybe a touch obsessed with taking revenge on a whale who happens to be a metaphor for the futility of human ambition but a good dude.

Legit cannot find a gf. Feel for him.

Say hello to the Penguin Archive. 90 short books being published next month for Penguin’s 90th anniversary—fifteen of which are shown here. £5.99 each, with designs reminiscent of the old Great Ideas series. (Though sadly these aren’t debossed.)

Ken Burns’ The Internet: A Series of Unfortunate Events

A slow pan over a blurry JPEG of a dancing baby, accompanied by a somber violin score.

A dramatic reading of a 1999 forum post.

someone fucked up and sent me to turtle heaven i been sunning on this rock 1000 years

harvey danger: i'm not sick but i'm not well

schrodinger: i'm listening

Comedy is tragedy plus time plus jokes

WOLF: (no longer hungry) i have two Durans inside me

me: [advancing my knight] how much to build a hotel on this square?

grim reaper: first, as I explained, that's not how the horse moves

TERMINATOR: Come with me if you want to love
ME: What?
TERMINATOR: What?