Reposted by Grosdoriane
James Bond will return?
No, Time to Die
November 11, 2025 at 3:06 PM
James Bond will return?
I don't think American soldiers have ever "fought for my freedom" in my lifetime, but they sure as hell fought for my right to not have to go to work today. So I guess that's something.
November 11, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I don't think American soldiers have ever "fought for my freedom" in my lifetime, but they sure as hell fought for my right to not have to go to work today. So I guess that's something.
My name is Brock Paperscissorshoot.
November 11, 2025 at 5:14 AM
My name is Brock Paperscissorshoot.
I used to load mulch into people's cars for a job, and one time someone hit the automatic open too fast, it hit my arm, and it took a chunk out of my arm. Then after I put 40~ bags of mulch in, they lowered the trunk and there was a bit of my skin w/ hair on it stuck to their tail light 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
November 11, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I used to load mulch into people's cars for a job, and one time someone hit the automatic open too fast, it hit my arm, and it took a chunk out of my arm. Then after I put 40~ bags of mulch in, they lowered the trunk and there was a bit of my skin w/ hair on it stuck to their tail light 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
I think "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was largely forgettable at this point, but "I want to start over... I want to be a baby" remains an All-Timer in my mind.
November 11, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I think "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was largely forgettable at this point, but "I want to start over... I want to be a baby" remains an All-Timer in my mind.
i heard Schumer sits in his office all day and plays with play-doh. he doesn't know how to answer the phone and no one ever taught him how to use computer so he just sits there making spaghetti with play-doh. blue, red, green, etc. It sounds funny, but they told me its actually really sad to see.
November 11, 2025 at 2:36 AM
i heard Schumer sits in his office all day and plays with play-doh. he doesn't know how to answer the phone and no one ever taught him how to use computer so he just sits there making spaghetti with play-doh. blue, red, green, etc. It sounds funny, but they told me its actually really sad to see.
Well, it wasn't God, but Kathy Hochul gave me $200 in the mail today, so we're gonna call that "close enough."
dear God, please direct deposit $3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 into my checking account. amen
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Well, it wasn't God, but Kathy Hochul gave me $200 in the mail today, so we're gonna call that "close enough."
smokin on that shit that makes your dick start durbin
November 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
smokin on that shit that makes your dick start durbin
Standing by this one.
November 10, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Standing by this one.
Do the people who don't flush public toilets do that at home, too? Like do they just accidentally leave a bowl of shit sitting in their toilet regularly? I don't understand how you could possibly forget to flush a toilet like that.
November 10, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Do the people who don't flush public toilets do that at home, too? Like do they just accidentally leave a bowl of shit sitting in their toilet regularly? I don't understand how you could possibly forget to flush a toilet like that.
Fetterman was worried if too many flights were cancelled the remaining ones would be fully booked for Thanksgiving, so they would have to stop offering the Delta Ogre Special (Three seats in a row for the price of two)
November 10, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Fetterman was worried if too many flights were cancelled the remaining ones would be fully booked for Thanksgiving, so they would have to stop offering the Delta Ogre Special (Three seats in a row for the price of two)
"Abolish the Senate" heads honestly stay winning, and we will continue to win over and over again. The Senate was not a good idea!! Huge L for the Founding Fathers!
November 10, 2025 at 3:42 PM
"Abolish the Senate" heads honestly stay winning, and we will continue to win over and over again. The Senate was not a good idea!! Huge L for the Founding Fathers!
They should put Kim Davis in jail again, just for being annoying.
#BREAKING: Over no public dissents, #SCOTUS denies Kim Davis's petition asking the justices to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges (which recognized federal constitutional protections for same-sex marriage):
www.supremecourt.gov/orders/court...
www.supremecourt.gov/orders/court...
www.supremecourt.gov
November 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
They should put Kim Davis in jail again, just for being annoying.
Reposted by Grosdoriane
one thing i do remember is that the republican party, before it went MAGA, was too weak to keep MAGA from taking it over. remember trump steamrolling all of those guys and now he tells them what to do and the worst elements of his base are in charge. democrats seem that weak now too. no control
November 10, 2025 at 2:25 PM
one thing i do remember is that the republican party, before it went MAGA, was too weak to keep MAGA from taking it over. remember trump steamrolling all of those guys and now he tells them what to do and the worst elements of his base are in charge. democrats seem that weak now too. no control
Grosdoriane's Psychotic Fitness Tips:
Increase your daily average step count to 30,000+ by canvassing door-to-door for left-wing candidates.
Increase your daily average step count to 30,000+ by canvassing door-to-door for left-wing candidates.
Go volunteer for a progressive launching a “hopeless” campaign against an extremely entrenched incumbent currently squatting in a safe Blue seat. The worst thing that happens, is that you drag the incumbent to the Left. Best case? Zohran Mamdani, who was polling at 6% in January.
November 10, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Grosdoriane's Psychotic Fitness Tips:
Increase your daily average step count to 30,000+ by canvassing door-to-door for left-wing candidates.
Increase your daily average step count to 30,000+ by canvassing door-to-door for left-wing candidates.
I do say this. Beef we have to get down. I think of groceries — it’s an old-fashion word, but it’s a beautiful word. Beef we have to get down, but we have prices way down.
November 10, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I do say this. Beef we have to get down. I think of groceries — it’s an old-fashion word, but it’s a beautiful word. Beef we have to get down, but we have prices way down.
Gotta reopen the government before too many people realize "Oh, if air traffic controllers wanted to, they have the power to *actually* shut down the entire country."
We wouldn't want anything to ever actually happen, would we?
We wouldn't want anything to ever actually happen, would we?
November 10, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Gotta reopen the government before too many people realize "Oh, if air traffic controllers wanted to, they have the power to *actually* shut down the entire country."
We wouldn't want anything to ever actually happen, would we?
We wouldn't want anything to ever actually happen, would we?
Reposted by Grosdoriane
It's gonna feel sooooo good to not vote for Chuck Schumer again.
June 18, 2025 at 4:44 PM
It's gonna feel sooooo good to not vote for Chuck Schumer again.
I hate when people post pictures of people from old sitcoms implying that they look old and saying "This guy was only 29!!!
And i'm NOT just saying that because I'm 31 and built like post-Cheers Frasier...
And i'm NOT just saying that because I'm 31 and built like post-Cheers Frasier...
November 9, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I hate when people post pictures of people from old sitcoms implying that they look old and saying "This guy was only 29!!!
And i'm NOT just saying that because I'm 31 and built like post-Cheers Frasier...
And i'm NOT just saying that because I'm 31 and built like post-Cheers Frasier...
Funniest possible outcome:
He experiences true ego death and immediately abandons his entire life's work of extending his life lmao
He experiences true ego death and immediately abandons his entire life's work of extending his life lmao
Over on X, the weird life extension guy just did a heroic dose of magic mushrooms (5g), and someone is live tweeting it for him.
Clearly someone misguided him along the way, though, because he seems to be under the impression he’s peaked after just one hour.
Bad news for you, buddy…
Clearly someone misguided him along the way, though, because he seems to be under the impression he’s peaked after just one hour.
Bad news for you, buddy…
November 9, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Funniest possible outcome:
He experiences true ego death and immediately abandons his entire life's work of extending his life lmao
He experiences true ego death and immediately abandons his entire life's work of extending his life lmao