Frank Ross
@frankross.bsky.social
Glad to be here, mind you, at my age, I'm glad to be anywhere.
Cancer and Sepsis survivor.
Cancer and Sepsis survivor.
When we rented our flat the landlord said it came with running water.
Well, we checked, and there is nothing coming out of the taps, but there is an old native American guy in one of the bedrooms.
Well, we checked, and there is nothing coming out of the taps, but there is an old native American guy in one of the bedrooms.
January 22, 2026 at 3:27 PM
When we rented our flat the landlord said it came with running water.
Well, we checked, and there is nothing coming out of the taps, but there is an old native American guy in one of the bedrooms.
Well, we checked, and there is nothing coming out of the taps, but there is an old native American guy in one of the bedrooms.
Reposted by Frank Ross
Batman. “Robin, this Caped Crusader malarkey is getting me down, I’m overwhelmed by the pointlessness of it all. I’m fed up, I just want it to stop.”
Robin “Holy mood swings Batman, it sounds like you’ve put on your futility belt by mistake.” #LunchPun
Robin “Holy mood swings Batman, it sounds like you’ve put on your futility belt by mistake.” #LunchPun
January 22, 2026 at 12:43 PM
Batman. “Robin, this Caped Crusader malarkey is getting me down, I’m overwhelmed by the pointlessness of it all. I’m fed up, I just want it to stop.”
Robin “Holy mood swings Batman, it sounds like you’ve put on your futility belt by mistake.” #LunchPun
Robin “Holy mood swings Batman, it sounds like you’ve put on your futility belt by mistake.” #LunchPun
The makers of Viagra would like you to know that it's made from sustainable wood.
January 22, 2026 at 12:17 PM
The makers of Viagra would like you to know that it's made from sustainable wood.
Reposted by Frank Ross
-What would you do if there was a really bad orchestra on your cruise liner?
-A band on ship?
-Wow, surely there’s a less drastic solution than that.
#LunchPun
-A band on ship?
-Wow, surely there’s a less drastic solution than that.
#LunchPun
January 22, 2026 at 12:02 PM
-What would you do if there was a really bad orchestra on your cruise liner?
-A band on ship?
-Wow, surely there’s a less drastic solution than that.
#LunchPun
-A band on ship?
-Wow, surely there’s a less drastic solution than that.
#LunchPun
Me: "I've just bought this fantastic German vacuum. Does everything. It's even got a setting that will help if someone is choking on food!"
Dave: "Sounds great. What's it called?"
Me: " The Heimlichman Hoover"
#LunchPun
Dave: "Sounds great. What's it called?"
Me: " The Heimlichman Hoover"
#LunchPun
January 22, 2026 at 12:02 PM
Me: "I've just bought this fantastic German vacuum. Does everything. It's even got a setting that will help if someone is choking on food!"
Dave: "Sounds great. What's it called?"
Me: " The Heimlichman Hoover"
#LunchPun
Dave: "Sounds great. What's it called?"
Me: " The Heimlichman Hoover"
#LunchPun
Reposted by Frank Ross
My wife says that if I stop misquoting old hymns she’ll take me to Crete to see the labyrinth.
A maze in Greece: how sweet that sounds.
#LunchPun
A maze in Greece: how sweet that sounds.
#LunchPun
January 21, 2026 at 12:02 PM
My wife says that if I stop misquoting old hymns she’ll take me to Crete to see the labyrinth.
A maze in Greece: how sweet that sounds.
#LunchPun
A maze in Greece: how sweet that sounds.
#LunchPun
Reposted by Frank Ross
Proud to have worked out an anagram of mugs. Can’t describe how I feel, though.
January 19, 2026 at 10:40 AM
Proud to have worked out an anagram of mugs. Can’t describe how I feel, though.
I'm sure we've all heard of record producer Phil Spector, but did you know his brother, Arsene, was a proctologist?.
January 15, 2026 at 6:10 PM
I'm sure we've all heard of record producer Phil Spector, but did you know his brother, Arsene, was a proctologist?.
Reposted by Frank Ross
January 14, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Tinder Date
She: "My surname is Ingus, a very famous name in military circles. Many of my family members hold senior positions across the services. My father is a Colonel"
He: "Colonel Ingus?"
She: "Maybe just a kiss on the cheek on a first date, but who knows after that?"
#LunchPun
She: "My surname is Ingus, a very famous name in military circles. Many of my family members hold senior positions across the services. My father is a Colonel"
He: "Colonel Ingus?"
She: "Maybe just a kiss on the cheek on a first date, but who knows after that?"
#LunchPun
January 14, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Tinder Date
She: "My surname is Ingus, a very famous name in military circles. Many of my family members hold senior positions across the services. My father is a Colonel"
He: "Colonel Ingus?"
She: "Maybe just a kiss on the cheek on a first date, but who knows after that?"
#LunchPun
She: "My surname is Ingus, a very famous name in military circles. Many of my family members hold senior positions across the services. My father is a Colonel"
He: "Colonel Ingus?"
She: "Maybe just a kiss on the cheek on a first date, but who knows after that?"
#LunchPun
Sergeant: "Private Smith, I didn't see you in camouflage class today."
Private Smith: "Thank you, Sergeant"
Private Smith: "Thank you, Sergeant"
January 14, 2026 at 11:01 AM
Sergeant: "Private Smith, I didn't see you in camouflage class today."
Private Smith: "Thank you, Sergeant"
Private Smith: "Thank you, Sergeant"
The police sent me on one of those speed awareness courses.
I'm glad I went. It turns out it's a film about a bus and stars Sandra Bullock.
Recommended.
I'm glad I went. It turns out it's a film about a bus and stars Sandra Bullock.
Recommended.
January 13, 2026 at 4:03 PM
The police sent me on one of those speed awareness courses.
I'm glad I went. It turns out it's a film about a bus and stars Sandra Bullock.
Recommended.
I'm glad I went. It turns out it's a film about a bus and stars Sandra Bullock.
Recommended.
"A cousin of mine lives in France and has made a small fortune printing score cards for one of their national games."
"Boule sheet?"
"No, it's true
#LunchPun
"Boule sheet?"
"No, it's true
#LunchPun
January 13, 2026 at 12:15 PM
"A cousin of mine lives in France and has made a small fortune printing score cards for one of their national games."
"Boule sheet?"
"No, it's true
#LunchPun
"Boule sheet?"
"No, it's true
#LunchPun
We've all heard of Andrew Marr, but did you know his sister, Emma, worked in vaccine development?
January 12, 2026 at 2:31 PM
We've all heard of Andrew Marr, but did you know his sister, Emma, worked in vaccine development?
I strongly believe that phantom pregnancies are a myth conception.
January 12, 2026 at 2:21 PM
I strongly believe that phantom pregnancies are a myth conception.
Reposted by Frank Ross
My grandad worked with the French Freedom Fighters in WWII, and he'd always add a little extra note to their communiqués.
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
January 12, 2026 at 12:00 PM
My grandad worked with the French Freedom Fighters in WWII, and he'd always add a little extra note to their communiqués.
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
He said it was the P.S. de resistance.
#Lunchpun #Ratemypun
Canal workers are the most likely to be rejected when approaching a member of the opposite sex.
According to a recent barge poll.
#LunchPun
According to a recent barge poll.
#LunchPun
January 12, 2026 at 12:12 PM
Canal workers are the most likely to be rejected when approaching a member of the opposite sex.
According to a recent barge poll.
#LunchPun
According to a recent barge poll.
#LunchPun
The local convent say they are attempting to market a condiment to accompany fish.
Personally, I think it's a nun's tartar.
Personally, I think it's a nun's tartar.
January 11, 2026 at 11:26 AM
The local convent say they are attempting to market a condiment to accompany fish.
Personally, I think it's a nun's tartar.
Personally, I think it's a nun's tartar.
Reposted by Frank Ross
Did anyone hear about the company that makes yardsticks?
They won't be making them any longer.
They won't be making them any longer.
January 11, 2026 at 6:56 AM
Did anyone hear about the company that makes yardsticks?
They won't be making them any longer.
They won't be making them any longer.
I used to work for Kwik Fit. When Paul McCartney came in, I would ask "Pirelli Mr McCartney?", and he would always say "No, Mullakin tyres"
January 9, 2026 at 11:32 AM
I used to work for Kwik Fit. When Paul McCartney came in, I would ask "Pirelli Mr McCartney?", and he would always say "No, Mullakin tyres"
We all know of Fox News wanchor Sean Hannity, but did you know his sister, Christy, is a big cheese in the church?
March 23, 2025 at 3:28 PM
We all know of Fox News wanchor Sean Hannity, but did you know his sister, Christy, is a big cheese in the church?
If you are suffering Eric Clapton withdrawal symptoms, I've got some Cream for that.
January 4, 2025 at 10:59 AM
If you are suffering Eric Clapton withdrawal symptoms, I've got some Cream for that.