Moanin’ Obukhov
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fivethirds.net
Moanin’ Obukhov
@fivethirds.net
Scientist (allegedly). Connoisseur of memes and existential dread. Ephemeral.
Pinned
i was once on a very long walk in 2017 and was reading news on my phone. i looked up to see that a group of goats had gathered and were now following me. they ended up harassing me for a mile.
When i was an undergrad at OU in the mid-2000s, a prof made a one-off comment about wishing the government spent more on science research than wars. A right-wing bigot had his mommy and daddy call the provost to complain that the prof was indoctrinating us. The prof had to apologize in front of us …
December 1, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I’m at the point where I’m just going to be honest when asked by students about studying here: This state is run by hateful idiots. Leaders, such as at OU, are servile cowards who know better. You can obtain a comparable/better education in our field elsewhere without putting up with this shit.
OU has put the professor here on administrative leave:
November 30, 2025 at 11:50 PM
going to deactivate for a bit and spend time making things that bring me joy.
October 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I keep hearing that Spotify is better than Apple Music, but the algorithm nailed this suggestion for me and the boys.
October 23, 2025 at 2:03 PM
based on the link preview, it seems that the people in charge do believe in extending opportunities to folks with criminal histories or drug issues (a good thing) so long as they support ethnic cleansing and fascism (very bad thing). it’s weird how people with shitty values are so pliable.
NBC News finds that:
-- ICE has shortened its training from 13 weeks to six.
-- Nearly half of recruits couldn’t pass an open-book written exam.
-- Recruits "are supposed to attest" they can pass the physical-fitness test, which requires them to run ... 6 mph.

www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Some new ICE recruits have shown up to training without full vetting
The recruits have had criminal backgrounds or failed drug tests or were unable to meet physical or academic standards, raising concerns about the agency’s rush to hire immigration officers, sources to...
www.nbcnews.com
October 23, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
Fit not befitting today… entire emotional complex is in the trash
October 23, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
A friendly reminder that food banks are going to be busy next month, and that they can be super efficient with monetary donations
ohiocapitaljournal.com/2025/10/21/s...
SNAP cuts would bring more hunger to already hungry Ohioans • Ohio Capital Journal
Commentary: Unless Republicans, who control Congress and the White House, re-open the government and pass a budget bill by Nov. 1 — that includes money for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Progra...
ohiocapitaljournal.com
October 23, 2025 at 12:46 PM
angel hair pasta is basically tiny worms with stolen valor. it is not of heaven.
a second day of the same discourse? no. no thank you.

instead I need you to name your least favorite pasta shape
October 23, 2025 at 3:05 AM
potential future cars
==============
GM ❌
GM to Remove CarPlay from All Future Vehicles, Including Gas Cars
GM to Remove CarPlay from All Future Vehicles, Including Gas Cars
General Motors began phasing out support for CarPlay in its electric vehicles back in 2023, leading to complaints from iPhone users, but the company has no plans to back down. In fact, GM is going further and plans to remove ‌CarPlay‌ from all future gas vehicles, too. In an interview with The Verge, GM CEO Mary Barra said that the company opted to prioritize its platform for EVs, but the change will eventually expand across the entire GM portfolio. A lot of it depends on when you do an update to that vehicle. When you look at the fact that we have over 40 models across our portfolio, you don't just do this and they all update. As we move forward with each new vehicle and major new vehicle launch, I think you're going to see us consistent on that. We made a decision to prioritize our EV vehicles during this timeframe, and as we go forward, we'll continue across the portfolio. When asked if users should expect that new gas cars will not support "smartphone projection" for ‌CarPlay‌ or Android Auto, Barra said "I think that's the right expectation. Yes." GM Chief Product Officer Sterling Anderson suggested that GM's decision to embrace its own system is a "very Jobsian approach to things" that he likened to phasing out the disk drive. But frankly, it's a very Jobsian approach to things. The removal of the disk drive, nobody liked that, everybody on the forums and Facebook was complaining about it, but to that he said, "Look, guys, flash storage really is the future. Get on board, you'll see that." That's kind of what we're saying here, in fact that's exactly what we're saying. Anderson said that GM's in-house infotainment option offers a "much more immersive environment" and can "do so many more things" than ‌CarPlay‌. In EVs, General Motors transitioned to an infotainment system that it previously called "Ultifi." GM said that eliminating Apple ‌CarPlay‌ gave it access to direct integrations and information that it needed for its electric vehicle line, plus the company claimed that an in-house unified solution was the better option for consumers. Starting with the 2028 Cadillac Escalade IQ, GM is rolling out a centralized vehicle computing system that it says will overhaul how GM vehicles are built and how they can be updated over time. GM will share software across its portfolio, including all electric and gas-powered vehicles produced by its GMC, Chevrolet, Buick, and Cadillac brands.Tag: GM This article, "GM to Remove CarPlay from All Future Vehicles, Including Gas Cars" first appeared on MacRumors.com Discuss this article in our forums
www.macrumors.com
October 22, 2025 at 7:11 PM
i just checked myself, like one does for ticks after a hike in the woods, and confirmed that i have no nazi tattoos*.

*i don’t have any tattoos because i hate needles and pain and even mild discomfort and decision making, but i especially don’t have nazi tattoos.
October 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
not unless the tech industry plans to point them inward.
Ring’s CEO says his cameras can almost ‘zero out crime’ within the next 12 months
 ‘I was the demolition man’: Ring founder reflects on how he almost destroyed the company
Ding Dong!
buff.ly
October 22, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Portland was amazing as always. May it, and you, remain as steadfast as this 300-year-old bonsai.
October 22, 2025 at 12:57 AM
1.) the author says, “As a luddite-leaning friend of Ms. Willdorf’s, I had received an invite and asked if I could attend as a journalist.”

2.) Ms. Willdorf is Chief Marketing Officer for a vc firm that has investments in artificial intelligence. www.canvas.vc/portfolio

3.) is this an ad?
“Prompt parties,” gatherings of women over cheese and wine to chat about how ChatGPT can help them, are emerging as the next-generation of Tupperware party in San Francisco.
Wine, Cheese and ChatGPT: Ladies’ Night in San Francisco
www.nytimes.com
October 21, 2025 at 1:18 AM
how many things can you find wrong with this ai slop?
October 20, 2025 at 2:02 AM
what the fuck? you know what? never mind.
October 20, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
A good reminder that you are not really “buying” digital movies.
October 19, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
Purdue to the rescue of IU student newspaper, whose institution was attempting censorship. Details in alt!
October 18, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
reposting with alt-text

Zero arrests by NYPD is actually astounding to me
October 18, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
It's kinda cool that Gary Larson is doing new cartoons because he picked up a digital tablet, taught himself how to use it, and it made him love drawing again.

www.thefarside.com/new-stuff/
New Work by Gary Larson | TheFarSide.com
Get an exclusive look at brand new cartoons and artwork from cartoonist Gary Larson, creator of the iconic comic strip The Far Side®.
www.thefarside.com
October 17, 2025 at 9:09 PM
dearest clementine,

i have finally reached the war-torn colony of portland. i have yet to see the leftist woke army of antifa, but this city is as bleak as hell is hot. the people waste precious resources on art, trees deprive them of seeing heaven, & they make food of foreign lands.

in fear,
j
October 17, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Reposted by Moanin’ Obukhov
I’m in a room where a whole ass faculty member said “Chat GPT 5 would be able to write a better NSF proposal than me” and… well…

My inside thoughts got the best of me BC I said loud as fuck “that’s unfortunate, because there’s not a machine on earth that writes better than me.”
October 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
we did this shit after 9/11. she can go fuck off.
Leavitt: "The Democrat Party's main constituency is made up of Hamas terrorists, illegal aliens, and violent criminals."
October 16, 2025 at 6:10 PM
worth a listen. and here is a gift link to his essay. www.nytimes.com/2025/10/12/o...
October 16, 2025 at 1:28 PM
when racist and bigoted and nazi words are excused as jokes, reporters should ask the apologists to explain the punchline.
October 15, 2025 at 6:31 PM
quote post your favorite pokémon (wrong answers only)
October 15, 2025 at 1:03 PM