Ersatz Doctor
@ersatzdoctor.bsky.social
My philosophy explainer video channel: http://youtube.com/ThinkingAboutStuff
PhD in philosophy. Community college prof.
Mostly here for unserious philosophy jokes.
PhD in philosophy. Community college prof.
Mostly here for unserious philosophy jokes.
Pinned
Ersatz Doctor
@ersatzdoctor.bsky.social
· Mar 30
I visited the cesspool (Twitter) to capture some of my past tweets. Here are a few (and some evidence that I used to be at least sort of funny).
God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.
November 11, 2025 at 6:04 AM
God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.
Republicans: "If you *vote for* our thing, we promise to *hold a vote* on your thing."
Kaine: "Wow! What a deal!"
Kaine: "Wow! What a deal!"
Sen. Tim Kaine statement "on the funding deal to reopen government, protect federal employees, and vote to protect health care"
bluevirginia.us/2025/11/sund...
bluevirginia.us/2025/11/sund...
November 10, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Republicans: "If you *vote for* our thing, we promise to *hold a vote* on your thing."
Kaine: "Wow! What a deal!"
Kaine: "Wow! What a deal!"
Pro tip: at Taco Bell you can get any burrito grilled at no extra charge. It really elevates it.
November 9, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Pro tip: at Taco Bell you can get any burrito grilled at no extra charge. It really elevates it.
I found the problem. Somebody set our Experience Machine dial to “dystopia” instead of “utopia.”
November 9, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I found the problem. Somebody set our Experience Machine dial to “dystopia” instead of “utopia.”
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
New blog post talking about what is going on w/ Trump's attacks on UCLA/UC. I had hoped to compare them to the "Compact" it's tried to coerce other schools into, but the first was long enough.
If you're concerned about attacks on higher ed, please read and share.
@aaup.org @uc-faculty.bsky.social
If you're concerned about attacks on higher ed, please read and share.
@aaup.org @uc-faculty.bsky.social
Trump’s Attacks on the University of California (and higher education more generally)
By Roberta Millstein With so many people in Davis affiliated in some way or another with UC Davis, I thought it might be helpful to try to highlight the two fronts on which the University of Califo…
davisite.org
November 9, 2025 at 12:08 AM
New blog post talking about what is going on w/ Trump's attacks on UCLA/UC. I had hoped to compare them to the "Compact" it's tried to coerce other schools into, but the first was long enough.
If you're concerned about attacks on higher ed, please read and share.
@aaup.org @uc-faculty.bsky.social
If you're concerned about attacks on higher ed, please read and share.
@aaup.org @uc-faculty.bsky.social
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
"Continental philosophers" are so-called because they take as their starting point the works of Immanuel Cont.
November 9, 2025 at 3:41 AM
"Continental philosophers" are so-called because they take as their starting point the works of Immanuel Cont.
This gives me a slogan idea for my springtime corn maze: "May May's maize maze amaze"
is "corn maze" a pun on "corn, maize"?
November 9, 2025 at 6:25 AM
This gives me a slogan idea for my springtime corn maze: "May May's maize maze amaze"
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
Interviewer upon seeing my postdoc experience: Can you explain this gap in your existence?
I know BlueSky has problems with humour so just to be clear: I, like everyone else, am aware that postdocs aren't real. I'm not spreading misinformation when I refer to them as if they exist, they're jokes and everyone knows that. Chill, ok?
November 8, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Interviewer upon seeing my postdoc experience: Can you explain this gap in your existence?
Welp we’ve awakened Shelob now
World's biggest spiderweb discovered inside 'Sulfur Cave' with 111,000 arachnids living in pitch black.
www.livescience.com/animals/spid...
www.livescience.com/animals/spid...
November 8, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Welp we’ve awakened Shelob now
As a philosopher I come from a rich tradition of being annoying af
November 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
As a philosopher I come from a rich tradition of being annoying af
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
Love Chicago and it's famous The Bean
November 7, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Love Chicago and it's famous The Bean
This is the same daughter that saw a bus for sale and asked “Can we get a bus?” I asked what for and she said “To house all of the corgis we’re going to get.”
My 11yo, who got pet tortoises this year, said “When I’m older I’m gonna get a tattoo that says ‘Live, Laugh, Love, Tortoise.’”
November 5, 2025 at 4:15 PM
This is the same daughter that saw a bus for sale and asked “Can we get a bus?” I asked what for and she said “To house all of the corgis we’re going to get.”
My 11yo, who got pet tortoises this year, said “When I’m older I’m gonna get a tattoo that says ‘Live, Laugh, Love, Tortoise.’”
November 5, 2025 at 3:45 PM
My 11yo, who got pet tortoises this year, said “When I’m older I’m gonna get a tattoo that says ‘Live, Laugh, Love, Tortoise.’”
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
The only candidate to publicly endorse an okay Kelly design [top left] won his race tonight. Will the establishment learn anything from this?
It's time to vote...for an "I Registered" sticker!
Two days ago, we put out the call for new designs and *hundreds* of you came through. We picked our top 10 and now it's time for you to make the final call.
Polls are open until Sunday at 10am at zohranfornyc.com/stickittothe...
Two days ago, we put out the call for new designs and *hundreds* of you came through. We picked our top 10 and now it's time for you to make the final call.
Polls are open until Sunday at 10am at zohranfornyc.com/stickittothe...
November 5, 2025 at 4:26 AM
The only candidate to publicly endorse an okay Kelly design [top left] won his race tonight. Will the establishment learn anything from this?
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
I spent literally *forever* trying to walk to this building, but still never made it there.
November 4, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I spent literally *forever* trying to walk to this building, but still never made it there.
Don’t wanna brag but Gavin Newsom has *personally* texted me like 5 times now asking for my support for prop 50. It’s like come on G-dog:
a blonde woman is talking to another woman and says why are you so obsessed with me
ALT: a blonde woman is talking to another woman and says why are you so obsessed with me
media.tenor.com
November 4, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Don’t wanna brag but Gavin Newsom has *personally* texted me like 5 times now asking for my support for prop 50. It’s like come on G-dog:
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
Geology is, almost by definition, the study of material history. Therefore, we should move all Marxist studies to the Earth Sciences department.
November 2, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Geology is, almost by definition, the study of material history. Therefore, we should move all Marxist studies to the Earth Sciences department.
Reposted by Ersatz Doctor
You mean former Jacob Urowsky Professor of Philosophy at Yale University Jason Stanley?
The details are, apparently, important to include.
WWFjUPoPaYUJSD
The details are, apparently, important to include.
WWFjUPoPaYUJSD
November 2, 2025 at 4:50 PM
You mean former Jacob Urowsky Professor of Philosophy at Yale University Jason Stanley?
The details are, apparently, important to include.
WWFjUPoPaYUJSD
The details are, apparently, important to include.
WWFjUPoPaYUJSD
In trying times, I like to ask myself WWJD—what would Jason (Stanley) do?
November 2, 2025 at 4:37 PM
In trying times, I like to ask myself WWJD—what would Jason (Stanley) do?
I have a weak spot for McDonald’s Monopoly. Junk food and gambling rolled into one?
November 2, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I have a weak spot for McDonald’s Monopoly. Junk food and gambling rolled into one?
Be smart about your daylight saving. Put it into a high yield account or even a mutual fund.
November 2, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Be smart about your daylight saving. Put it into a high yield account or even a mutual fund.
Wow. Just wow. Incredible.
November 2, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Wow. Just wow. Incredible.
It’s wild how many lies my parents told me as a kid—“Santa is real,” “The tooth fairy is real,” “You’re a smart, handsome, and talented young man.”
November 1, 2025 at 10:03 PM
It’s wild how many lies my parents told me as a kid—“Santa is real,” “The tooth fairy is real,” “You’re a smart, handsome, and talented young man.”