Eliza Jane
@elizajaneagain.bsky.social
Wearily trying yet another Twitter alternative in the hope of regaining the glory days of pocket friends.
Drunk stranger (DS) last night at my sister's birthday party. Try and imagine a confused slurring tone when you read this.
DS: so how do you know the birthday girl?
Me: we're sisters
DS: so is she your sister or are you her sister?
Me: um, we're each other's sister
DS: *confused stare*
DS: so how do you know the birthday girl?
Me: we're sisters
DS: so is she your sister or are you her sister?
Me: um, we're each other's sister
DS: *confused stare*
November 15, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Drunk stranger (DS) last night at my sister's birthday party. Try and imagine a confused slurring tone when you read this.
DS: so how do you know the birthday girl?
Me: we're sisters
DS: so is she your sister or are you her sister?
Me: um, we're each other's sister
DS: *confused stare*
DS: so how do you know the birthday girl?
Me: we're sisters
DS: so is she your sister or are you her sister?
Me: um, we're each other's sister
DS: *confused stare*
One of our cats often jumps out of my bedroom window to sun himself on the roof, and the other cat copies because fomo. First cat easily jumps back in whenever he's done. Second cat meanwhile waits on the roof until I'm in the bedroom then meows begging to be airlifted back to safety.
November 9, 2025 at 9:26 AM
One of our cats often jumps out of my bedroom window to sun himself on the roof, and the other cat copies because fomo. First cat easily jumps back in whenever he's done. Second cat meanwhile waits on the roof until I'm in the bedroom then meows begging to be airlifted back to safety.
Reposted by Eliza Jane
have you seen the video about teaching an octopus to play piano yet
it contains the breadth of human/cephalopod experience
youtu.be/PcWnQ7fYzwI?...
it contains the breadth of human/cephalopod experience
youtu.be/PcWnQ7fYzwI?...
November 9, 2025 at 4:15 AM
have you seen the video about teaching an octopus to play piano yet
it contains the breadth of human/cephalopod experience
youtu.be/PcWnQ7fYzwI?...
it contains the breadth of human/cephalopod experience
youtu.be/PcWnQ7fYzwI?...
Reposted by Eliza Jane
My friends adopted a very sweet smallish-breed puppy but out in the world she is scared of everything and barks and snarls. They hired a dog trainer but the trainer said she needed more intensive work so they have sent her to... a dog boarding school in Ramarama?!
November 3, 2025 at 10:53 PM
My friends adopted a very sweet smallish-breed puppy but out in the world she is scared of everything and barks and snarls. They hired a dog trainer but the trainer said she needed more intensive work so they have sent her to... a dog boarding school in Ramarama?!
"there are children back at home, and the children have got to be fed"
Me, not starving, not oppressed, stopping at the shops on the way home to buy tomorrow's lunchbox fruit "omg so true so true"
Me, not starving, not oppressed, stopping at the shops on the way home to buy tomorrow's lunchbox fruit "omg so true so true"
November 3, 2025 at 7:20 PM
"there are children back at home, and the children have got to be fed"
Me, not starving, not oppressed, stopping at the shops on the way home to buy tomorrow's lunchbox fruit "omg so true so true"
Me, not starving, not oppressed, stopping at the shops on the way home to buy tomorrow's lunchbox fruit "omg so true so true"
In relation to the NZ curriculum reforms, I keep thinking of that Colbert line from the 2006 Whitehouse Correspondents' Dinner "reality has a well-known liberal bias".
November 1, 2025 at 9:33 AM
In relation to the NZ curriculum reforms, I keep thinking of that Colbert line from the 2006 Whitehouse Correspondents' Dinner "reality has a well-known liberal bias".
Current measels outbreak prompting me to remember how B got his 4 year old immunisations during an alert level 3 lockdown. The nurse asked "do you go to preschool?", aiming to build raport. He said in bafflement at the question "no I just stay at home every single day because of lockdown".
October 31, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Current measels outbreak prompting me to remember how B got his 4 year old immunisations during an alert level 3 lockdown. The nurse asked "do you go to preschool?", aiming to build raport. He said in bafflement at the question "no I just stay at home every single day because of lockdown".
It was a while ago so I'm not sure if I'm recalling this exactly right, but I think in 2002 in the exam for NCEA Level One History we had to write three mini-essays, each taking the perspective of a different contemporary politician on an historical event.
"Takes politics out of history" because no politics ever happened in history, can they even hear themselves
Don't see the new Aotearoa NZ histories curriculum online yet. But Act are already crowing about having gutted it.
community.scoop.co.nz/2025/10/new-...
community.scoop.co.nz/2025/10/new-...
October 29, 2025 at 2:51 AM
It was a while ago so I'm not sure if I'm recalling this exactly right, but I think in 2002 in the exam for NCEA Level One History we had to write three mini-essays, each taking the perspective of a different contemporary politician on an historical event.
The 11 year old is teaching the 9 year old how to play the drums, and the weather warning is not to leave the house, and even so, I support the teachers' strike.
October 22, 2025 at 10:17 PM
The 11 year old is teaching the 9 year old how to play the drums, and the weather warning is not to leave the house, and even so, I support the teachers' strike.
What a moment to post a piece with this headline.
Anti-Trump protests are often written off as “cringe,” Quinta Jurecic writes. “But these dismissals both ignore the very real victories of the Resistance and miss why cringe was essential to the movement’s effectiveness.”
Resistance Is Cringe
But it’s also effective.
bit.ly
October 19, 2025 at 7:56 AM
What a moment to post a piece with this headline.
Maximum warm fuzzies.
Now this is cool.
Overseas comedian making a joke about Kiwis not having a chant.
Then someone in the audience sings out Tūtira Mai Ngā Iwi and the whole audience shouts Hi aue hei in response.
So the comedian tries to learn it.
Good vibes, real kiwis.
www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/3608...
Overseas comedian making a joke about Kiwis not having a chant.
Then someone in the audience sings out Tūtira Mai Ngā Iwi and the whole audience shouts Hi aue hei in response.
So the comedian tries to learn it.
Good vibes, real kiwis.
www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/3608...
Kiwi crowd schools US comedian
Visiting US stand-up Jeff Arcuri expressed his surprise that there were no New Zealand chants - his fans quickly put him right.
www.stuff.co.nz
October 14, 2025 at 9:09 AM
Maximum warm fuzzies.
Reposted by Eliza Jane
This is amazing. I laughed out loud www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
![As 32-year-old Rich points out, though, "it's not like using ChatGPT guarantees success".
When he met someone in a bar one Friday night and swapped social media handles, he asked AI what his next move should be.
ChatGPT discerned that sending an initial message on Monday midmorning would set the right pace. "Then it gave me some options for what the message could be," says Rich.
"Keep it light, warm, and low-stakes so it reads as genuine interest without urgency," the bot advised. "Something like: Hey Sarah, still laughing about [tiny shared moment/reference if you've got one] - good to meet you!" Rich went back and forth with ChatGPT until he felt they'd hit upon exactly the right message ("Hey Sarah, it was lovely to meet you") but sadly she never replied, he says. "It's been two weeks now."](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ugcmot4f3ool6cottht63wx4/bafkreierpoqvjgg5hqx3zhtlfmvrfq3vaakb3h5wppcdzrvs5jh3zr7ce4@jpeg)
October 12, 2025 at 7:57 AM
This is amazing. I laughed out loud www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
Reposted by Eliza Jane
My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
October 10, 2025 at 7:36 PM
My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
These two own the doormat now.
October 10, 2025 at 8:28 AM
These two own the doormat now.
My dad was one of the Springbok Tour clowns (specifically, the bumblebee). For decades when this has come up I've had people saying "yeah I mean it's bad the police beat them, but I still don't get why they were dressed up..." Well, guess they were ahead of their time! 🐸
October 10, 2025 at 4:44 AM
My dad was one of the Springbok Tour clowns (specifically, the bumblebee). For decades when this has come up I've had people saying "yeah I mean it's bad the police beat them, but I still don't get why they were dressed up..." Well, guess they were ahead of their time! 🐸
9 yo extremely emphatically to his two friends "we NEVER, EVER open this door!!"
*** Nothing bad happens if that door is opened. The door functions just fine. But to open it one would need to step around the cat litter box.
*** Nothing bad happens if that door is opened. The door functions just fine. But to open it one would need to step around the cat litter box.
October 9, 2025 at 4:00 AM
9 yo extremely emphatically to his two friends "we NEVER, EVER open this door!!"
*** Nothing bad happens if that door is opened. The door functions just fine. But to open it one would need to step around the cat litter box.
*** Nothing bad happens if that door is opened. The door functions just fine. But to open it one would need to step around the cat litter box.
Reposted by Eliza Jane
I am the chief cuppa tea maker for Antifa. I blew our whole budget ($20 of my own cash I found in the torn lining of my handbag) on different kinds of faux-milk because we couldn't agree on just one and everyone kept giving way to everyone else in a vicious politeness war.
October 9, 2025 at 1:06 AM
I am the chief cuppa tea maker for Antifa. I blew our whole budget ($20 of my own cash I found in the torn lining of my handbag) on different kinds of faux-milk because we couldn't agree on just one and everyone kept giving way to everyone else in a vicious politeness war.
Idk eh not a fan of the whole "12 year olds politics" thing, or, generally, of equating adults with malicious intentions and significant actual power to children. It minimises the harm they do, their accountability for it, and the extent to which it's deliberate.
October 8, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Idk eh not a fan of the whole "12 year olds politics" thing, or, generally, of equating adults with malicious intentions and significant actual power to children. It minimises the harm they do, their accountability for it, and the extent to which it's deliberate.
And on Yom Kippur. Israeli militarism has become a golden calf, self-evidently inconsistent with Jewish moral precepts and prophetic teachings. If our synagogues don't decry this, they will crumble to ashes.
Close to 65k watching the livefeed from the Global Sumud Flotilla off the coast of Gaza.
Israel seems to be intercepting right now.
All eyes needed.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEN2...
Israel seems to be intercepting right now.
All eyes needed.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEN2...
24/7 LIVESTREAM OF GLOBAL SUMUD FLOTILLA
YouTube video by Global Sumud Flotilla
www.youtube.com
October 1, 2025 at 8:18 PM
And on Yom Kippur. Israeli militarism has become a golden calf, self-evidently inconsistent with Jewish moral precepts and prophetic teachings. If our synagogues don't decry this, they will crumble to ashes.
Reposted by Eliza Jane
the booker prize judges make a lot of fuss about having to read 153 books. but assuming an average weight of 750g per book, that comes in at 115kg of literature - or just under the weight of a single adult male ostrich
September 24, 2025 at 1:41 PM
the booker prize judges make a lot of fuss about having to read 153 books. but assuming an average weight of 750g per book, that comes in at 115kg of literature - or just under the weight of a single adult male ostrich
Husband, to 9 yo "Do you want to have a shower or a bath?"
11 yo "Ahhh, giving your children the illusion of free will"
11 yo "Ahhh, giving your children the illusion of free will"
July 8, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Husband, to 9 yo "Do you want to have a shower or a bath?"
11 yo "Ahhh, giving your children the illusion of free will"
11 yo "Ahhh, giving your children the illusion of free will"
Husband and I were talking about ICE. 11 yo asks some questions to join the conversation. Husband "do you remember the word 'scapegoat'?"
11 yo "yeah because the professor in Wicked was a goat and they dragged him away and locked him up and [9 yo] was really upset and the movie never resolved it"
11 yo "yeah because the professor in Wicked was a goat and they dragged him away and locked him up and [9 yo] was really upset and the movie never resolved it"
July 3, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Husband and I were talking about ICE. 11 yo asks some questions to join the conversation. Husband "do you remember the word 'scapegoat'?"
11 yo "yeah because the professor in Wicked was a goat and they dragged him away and locked him up and [9 yo] was really upset and the movie never resolved it"
11 yo "yeah because the professor in Wicked was a goat and they dragged him away and locked him up and [9 yo] was really upset and the movie never resolved it"
Maybe too early to be online and brain still awakening, but as I started reading this post I thought Dimsie was using "Pineapple Lumps" as a kiwi cockneyish term for "President Trump" - and I'm here for that.
Lotta hate out there for Pineapple Lumps to which I say: reject modernity, embrace tradition
July 2, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Maybe too early to be online and brain still awakening, but as I started reading this post I thought Dimsie was using "Pineapple Lumps" as a kiwi cockneyish term for "President Trump" - and I'm here for that.
Some interesting curation in the discover tab
June 14, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Some interesting curation in the discover tab
We have no financial barriers to providing our kids with a packed lunch every day... but they barely eat it. Their sandwiches are like a ritual sacrifice. They both, at 9 and 11, still reminisce fondly about the cooked meals they got at daycare. www.rnz.co.nz/national/pro...
Japanese school lunches example for Kiwi counterparts
The free school lunch programme has gotten major backlash over the cut-price lunches provided by the School Lunch Collective. But in other countries, similar programmes have thrived. Japan has been pr...
www.rnz.co.nz
June 13, 2025 at 8:40 AM
We have no financial barriers to providing our kids with a packed lunch every day... but they barely eat it. Their sandwiches are like a ritual sacrifice. They both, at 9 and 11, still reminisce fondly about the cooked meals they got at daycare. www.rnz.co.nz/national/pro...