Not Elijah Wood
@elijahwould.bsky.social
Was drunk watching movies when I made this. Sorry to the real Elijah Wood.
If corporations are people why don't they name hurricanes after them?
October 28, 2025 at 10:35 AM
If corporations are people why don't they name hurricanes after them?
Just got to the part in the new Skate where an npc named Slappy invoked the phrase "we shall overcome" in regards to getting bird poo off of a gnarly ledge we were trying to tailslide.
Indeed Slappy, indeed.
Indeed Slappy, indeed.
October 19, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Just got to the part in the new Skate where an npc named Slappy invoked the phrase "we shall overcome" in regards to getting bird poo off of a gnarly ledge we were trying to tailslide.
Indeed Slappy, indeed.
Indeed Slappy, indeed.
From trending topics to God's ear, huh?
August 30, 2025 at 12:24 PM
From trending topics to God's ear, huh?
When you only see one set of footprints in the sand that b/c your bitch ass is skipping leg day
July 17, 2025 at 6:31 PM
When you only see one set of footprints in the sand that b/c your bitch ass is skipping leg day
Incorporating this into my next zip zap zop
i want you to practice saying it. “i am invoking my right to remain silent and will not answer questions without an attorney present.” say it out loud. it sounds so simple but when the moment comes, you forget. you’ll be stressed, scared, confused, & want to explain yourself. don’t. it won’t help.
June 14, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Incorporating this into my next zip zap zop
My legitimate political disagreement with Joe Biden is his enthusiastic complicity in politically knecapping single-payer healthcare proposals prior to the passing of the ACA, thereby continuing and often expanding the financial and bureaucratic burdens of cancer patients and their loved ones.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you can have legitimate political disagreements with Joe Biden and his team without being petty or gross about his cancer.
May 20, 2025 at 1:41 AM
My legitimate political disagreement with Joe Biden is his enthusiastic complicity in politically knecapping single-payer healthcare proposals prior to the passing of the ACA, thereby continuing and often expanding the financial and bureaucratic burdens of cancer patients and their loved ones.
LEGALLY-BINDING FINANCIAL ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE RESPOND BELOW
If I were to develop really bad takes (politics/popculture) do you think that would help my bottom line? Also, is a podcast a tax deduction?
If I were to develop really bad takes (politics/popculture) do you think that would help my bottom line? Also, is a podcast a tax deduction?
May 19, 2025 at 5:31 PM
LEGALLY-BINDING FINANCIAL ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE RESPOND BELOW
If I were to develop really bad takes (politics/popculture) do you think that would help my bottom line? Also, is a podcast a tax deduction?
If I were to develop really bad takes (politics/popculture) do you think that would help my bottom line? Also, is a podcast a tax deduction?
Artificial Intelligence won't put an end to humanity but their marketing/promotional material has real potential.
May 4, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Artificial Intelligence won't put an end to humanity but their marketing/promotional material has real potential.
Portrait of American Liberalism
May 3, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Portrait of American Liberalism
AI will never know how many R's are in the word strawberry or S's in deserts
Thank you for your service comrade @merriam-webster.com
Thank you for your service comrade @merriam-webster.com
The phrase ‘just deserts’ has only one S.
It has nothing to do with desserts 🧁or deserts 🏜️.
The word ‘desert’ is spelled like🏜️ and pronounced like🧁.
It's related to ‘deserve’ and means “reward or punishment deserved or earned by one’s qualities or acts.”
It has nothing to do with desserts 🧁or deserts 🏜️.
The word ‘desert’ is spelled like🏜️ and pronounced like🧁.
It's related to ‘deserve’ and means “reward or punishment deserved or earned by one’s qualities or acts.”
April 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
AI will never know how many R's are in the word strawberry or S's in deserts
Thank you for your service comrade @merriam-webster.com
Thank you for your service comrade @merriam-webster.com
I hope everyone involved with this skeet get run over by a catbus
BREAKING: WelcomeFest 2025 just got a lot bigger.
This year, both Congressman Ritchie Torres and Matt Yglesias will be joining us for the largest center-left gathering in Washington, D.C.
Now's the time to get your ticket too. www.welcomestack.org/p/ritchie-to...
This year, both Congressman Ritchie Torres and Matt Yglesias will be joining us for the largest center-left gathering in Washington, D.C.
Now's the time to get your ticket too. www.welcomestack.org/p/ritchie-to...
Ritchie Torres and Matt Yglesias at WelcomeFest 2025
Join us June 4 at WelcomeFest for expert discussions on polarization, abundance, and popularism with Rep. Ritchie Torres and Matt Yglesias.
www.welcomestack.org
April 24, 2025 at 2:12 PM
I hope everyone involved with this skeet get run over by a catbus
Hey that lady that bragged about shooting a puppy in the face is in violation of the Geneva convention. Jtysk
March 27, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Hey that lady that bragged about shooting a puppy in the face is in violation of the Geneva convention. Jtysk
New evergreen post just dropped
March 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
New evergreen post just dropped
![A meme constructed of two images from "The Simpsons" TV show. The top image shows the moddle-aged principal of a school asking himself if he is out of touch [with the youth of today] and the bottom image is the principal reassuring himself that 'no, it's the kids who are wrong'. In this iteration tough, the text on the bottom now reads "no, it's the voters who are wrong"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:rln4l7k4txnu3245vykg62c3/bafkreie2x5kwyjcnqkostq5qpqlkcqunfpvqebh5sda7xmzfwch5slbtcu@jpeg)
I have physical and irrefutable proof that Fidel Castro is the real father of Barron Trump.
March 20, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I have physical and irrefutable proof that Fidel Castro is the real father of Barron Trump.
"Where does Michael Jordan/Nike go on this list?"
"Uh, put it after crowns and guns but before trains, roses, and predatory felines. Yeah, that looks right."
"Uh, put it after crowns and guns but before trains, roses, and predatory felines. Yeah, that looks right."
Uh...
March 17, 2025 at 6:15 PM
"Where does Michael Jordan/Nike go on this list?"
"Uh, put it after crowns and guns but before trains, roses, and predatory felines. Yeah, that looks right."
"Uh, put it after crowns and guns but before trains, roses, and predatory felines. Yeah, that looks right."
Reposted by Not Elijah Wood
on this st patricks day, a plea for irish americans to remember that the thing we have to be proud of is 800 years of anti-colonial resistance, not green beer.
March 17, 2025 at 5:01 PM
on this st patricks day, a plea for irish americans to remember that the thing we have to be proud of is 800 years of anti-colonial resistance, not green beer.
Found Chuck Schumer's alt
March 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Found Chuck Schumer's alt
This is a vile, despicable, and racist tactic of rhetoric being deployed against Chuck Schumer.
Presumably Donald learned it from watching Chuck Schumer talk about protests last summer.
Presumably Donald learned it from watching Chuck Schumer talk about protests last summer.
Donald Trump: "Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I am concerned. He has become a Palestinian. He used to be Jewish. He is not Jewish anymore. He is a Palestinian."
March 12, 2025 at 6:12 PM
This is a vile, despicable, and racist tactic of rhetoric being deployed against Chuck Schumer.
Presumably Donald learned it from watching Chuck Schumer talk about protests last summer.
Presumably Donald learned it from watching Chuck Schumer talk about protests last summer.
So many notes:
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform literal goddamn nazis
-"havin a brewsom with gavin newsom" though 'hacky' is at least catchy and resonates with the projects elevator pitch to reader and listeners
-Don't dress to match your guest for promo
-quit your jobs
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform literal goddamn nazis
-"havin a brewsom with gavin newsom" though 'hacky' is at least catchy and resonates with the projects elevator pitch to reader and listeners
-Don't dress to match your guest for promo
-quit your jobs
The next guest on California Governor Gavin Newsom’s podcast: Steve Bannon.
March 12, 2025 at 5:58 AM
So many notes:
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform literal goddamn nazis
-"havin a brewsom with gavin newsom" though 'hacky' is at least catchy and resonates with the projects elevator pitch to reader and listeners
-Don't dress to match your guest for promo
-quit your jobs
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform nazis
-Don't platform literal goddamn nazis
-"havin a brewsom with gavin newsom" though 'hacky' is at least catchy and resonates with the projects elevator pitch to reader and listeners
-Don't dress to match your guest for promo
-quit your jobs
It's a forced portmanteau.
A forcedmanteau
A forcedmanteau
March 11, 2025 at 7:34 PM
It's a forced portmanteau.
A forcedmanteau
A forcedmanteau
Harris was too busy endorsing the arresting and shutting down of student protests while holding hands with Liz goddamn Cheney.
But okay...
But okay...
People should've listened to Harris when she said democracy was on the ballot.
March 9, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Harris was too busy endorsing the arresting and shutting down of student protests while holding hands with Liz goddamn Cheney.
But okay...
But okay...
This fuck is Paul-F-Tompkins-pilled for sure.
February 23, 2025 at 9:17 PM
This fuck is Paul-F-Tompkins-pilled for sure.