Dread Pirate Zed
@dreadpiratezed.bsky.social
Just trying to get through it all with my soul intact. Badlife and proud of it. He/him
DPZ Karaoke: https://www.youtube.com/@DreadPirateZed
DPZ Karaoke: https://www.youtube.com/@DreadPirateZed
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Bonus: people who voted for Trump won't even get the joke.
January 20, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Bonus: people who voted for Trump won't even get the joke.
Call me elitist, but if you don't get a reference and your reaction is to get annoyed rather than to take a moment and look it up, you may not be my audience. Everyone starts out ignorant; staying that way is a choice.
"If you watch an episode of Cheers, you might hear references to foreign filmmakers, to classical musicians, to Russian novelists. The level of assumed knowledge back then was far greater; now, TV is rarely adventurous in its allusions."
TV brain rot: The real reason television shows are getting stupider www.the-independent.com/arts-enterta...
January 21, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Call me elitist, but if you don't get a reference and your reaction is to get annoyed rather than to take a moment and look it up, you may not be my audience. Everyone starts out ignorant; staying that way is a choice.
"So - apart from the chapped hands - how was the play, Mrs. Macbeth?"
January 20, 2026 at 4:49 PM
"So - apart from the chapped hands - how was the play, Mrs. Macbeth?"
Yes, I felt that.
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
The Earthquake Event Page application supports most recent browsers, view supported browsers. Or, try our Real-time Notifications, Feeds, and Web Services.
earthquake.usgs.gov
January 20, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Yes, I felt that.
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
donuts make my brown eyes blue
January 19, 2026 at 6:18 AM
donuts make my brown eyes blue
Got some prime drip
January 18, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Got some prime drip
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Every day I remind myself: I am enough.
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
January 16, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Every day I remind myself: I am enough.
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
At long last, vindication
January 12, 2026 at 7:39 PM
At long last, vindication
Been drinking wine from Dāo (highly recommended) and suddenly recognized the song that's been stuck in my head...
youtu.be/IBrm0Zb31P0?...
youtu.be/IBrm0Zb31P0?...
Tom Waits - "Union Square"
YouTube video by Tom Waits
youtu.be
January 10, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Been drinking wine from Dāo (highly recommended) and suddenly recognized the song that's been stuck in my head...
youtu.be/IBrm0Zb31P0?...
youtu.be/IBrm0Zb31P0?...
They say that when all you have is a hammer, all your problems start to look like nails - but they never mention that when you just need to pound in a nail, almost anything can be turned into a hammer.
January 8, 2026 at 3:31 PM
They say that when all you have is a hammer, all your problems start to look like nails - but they never mention that when you just need to pound in a nail, almost anything can be turned into a hammer.
I'm sure I'm the last to notice, but this morning I realized that the word "maintenance" literally means "hand holding" and it's sorta blown my mind.
January 7, 2026 at 6:56 AM
I'm sure I'm the last to notice, but this morning I realized that the word "maintenance" literally means "hand holding" and it's sorta blown my mind.
Is it just me, or does "demonym" seem like it ought to mean a warlock's work name?
January 6, 2026 at 8:52 AM
Is it just me, or does "demonym" seem like it ought to mean a warlock's work name?
🎶For might makes right
And 'till they've seen the light
They've got to be protected -
All their rights respected -
Until someone we like can get elected.🎶
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhZ...
And 'till they've seen the light
They've got to be protected -
All their rights respected -
Until someone we like can get elected.🎶
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhZ...
Tom Lehrer - Send the Marines
YouTube video by The Tom Lehrer Wisdom Channel
www.youtube.com
January 5, 2026 at 2:10 PM
🎶For might makes right
And 'till they've seen the light
They've got to be protected -
All their rights respected -
Until someone we like can get elected.🎶
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhZ...
And 'till they've seen the light
They've got to be protected -
All their rights respected -
Until someone we like can get elected.🎶
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhZ...
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
finally, we're living through precedented times
January 4, 2026 at 6:56 AM
finally, we're living through precedented times
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live
January 3, 2026 at 5:00 PM
if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live
The night is dark, and full of bite-chus.
January 2, 2026 at 7:30 PM
The night is dark, and full of bite-chus.
All of our cats were born on the street, and each of them has the habit of "following in front of me" and acting like they're scared I'm chasing them. It's usually cute, but just occasionally it irritates the hell out of me.
January 2, 2026 at 5:08 PM
All of our cats were born on the street, and each of them has the habit of "following in front of me" and acting like they're scared I'm chasing them. It's usually cute, but just occasionally it irritates the hell out of me.
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Fortune favors the bold. Luck favors the italics. Prosperity favors Helvetica.
January 2, 2026 at 11:11 AM
Fortune favors the bold. Luck favors the italics. Prosperity favors Helvetica.
"Sue year, sue me" - shysters, probably
Shu shu shu shoe year, Shoe me
- The Shoe People, probably
- The Shoe People, probably
"Gnu year, gnu me" - Richard Stallman (or a wildebeest), probably
January 1, 2026 at 4:24 PM
"Sue year, sue me" - shysters, probably
"Gnu year, gnu me" - Richard Stallman (or a wildebeest), probably
“Peru year, peru me” - Paddington, probably
"Pneu year, pneu me." - lungs, probably
January 1, 2026 at 3:41 PM
"Gnu year, gnu me" - Richard Stallman (or a wildebeest), probably
Reunited with one of my favorite kitties.
December 31, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Reunited with one of my favorite kitties.
Confession: although I generally like their design aesthetic, and (so far) the quality of every one of their products I've used has been top-notch... I am too much of a child not to crack up every time I see their name.
www.smeg.com
www.smeg.com
Smeg - Technology with style | Smeg.com
Smeg - Technology with style: ovens, hobs, cookers, refrigerators, washing machines, dishwashers and more major and small appliances that express “Made in Italy” by perfectly combining design, perform...
www.smeg.com
December 31, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Confession: although I generally like their design aesthetic, and (so far) the quality of every one of their products I've used has been top-notch... I am too much of a child not to crack up every time I see their name.
www.smeg.com
www.smeg.com
I introduced my son-in-law to AC/DC's "Big Balls" this evening, and he's been going around muttering "It's my belief..." His wife hates me. My work here is done.
December 31, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I introduced my son-in-law to AC/DC's "Big Balls" this evening, and he's been going around muttering "It's my belief..." His wife hates me. My work here is done.
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Trump 🔽
This is hysterical and sad at the same time.
This is hysterical and sad at the same time.
December 29, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Trump 🔽
This is hysterical and sad at the same time.
This is hysterical and sad at the same time.