Kermit Gulag, one of the posts of all time

“the hawk tuah girl has been milkshake ducked by her memecoin” i say as the neurologist schedules me for an emergency MRI

Peter Thiel has been going “democracy is bad because women vote against libertarianism” for like a quarter century and people are still doing this “Silicon Valley was forced right” thing

Remember when you called him a segregationist on live TV

Two months of Christmas is too much

be the rent-lowering gunshot you want to see in the world

Coworker: that storm is coming
Me: This is a device of Sauron’s making. A broil of fume he sends ahead of his host. The Orcs of Mordor have no love of daylight, so he covers the sun to ease their passage along the road to war. When the shadow of Mordor reaches the city, it will begin.
Coworker: wtf

me on my death bed: fuuuuck i wish i posted online more

I had three Twitter accounts and now with the Tabula Rasa of a brand new platform I have no idea what to do with this. Will it be gay? Left politics? Science? All three? Anybody’s guess. Even I don’t know

i came up with a plan:
ride bikes
read books
write posts
walk dogs

Hello world