DALIA MALEK ☥
@daliamalek.bsky.social
COMEDIAN WHO WEARS SHORTS ON STAGE. PLANT-BASED GOD. NOT YOUR HOMIE.
HOST OF INTERRUPTION SHOW, LIVE COMEDY SHOW & PODCAST
MY BUTT HAS A SEPARATE ACCOUNT @daliabutt.bsky.social
HOST OF INTERRUPTION SHOW, LIVE COMEDY SHOW & PODCAST
MY BUTT HAS A SEPARATE ACCOUNT @daliabutt.bsky.social
Who taught my dog that pawing at his bowl is a butler’s bell
November 22, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Who taught my dog that pawing at his bowl is a butler’s bell
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
Crying at Ronald Reagan bearing silent witness
November 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Crying at Ronald Reagan bearing silent witness
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
Every morning I wake up thinking I had seen the craziest shit ever the day before and every day I’m wrong.
November 22, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Every morning I wake up thinking I had seen the craziest shit ever the day before and every day I’m wrong.
How come no one told me getting older makes every sneeze a near death experience
November 20, 2025 at 9:42 PM
How come no one told me getting older makes every sneeze a near death experience
“Bubba” the musical, coming to Broadway in the summer of 2325, where AI presents the political history of 2025 United States and the question that occupied the discourse of “Clinton or horse”
November 20, 2025 at 4:15 PM
“Bubba” the musical, coming to Broadway in the summer of 2325, where AI presents the political history of 2025 United States and the question that occupied the discourse of “Clinton or horse”
Went into fight or flight watching that video, my nervous system is in knots
It soothes my bitter heart to know that no matter how much money Elon Musk has, he will never, ever be funny
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
November 14, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Went into fight or flight watching that video, my nervous system is in knots
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
It soothes my bitter heart to know that no matter how much money Elon Musk has, he will never, ever be funny
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
November 13, 2025 at 9:59 PM
It soothes my bitter heart to know that no matter how much money Elon Musk has, he will never, ever be funny
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
t.co/QhuKU9HCxA
Got my breathing app on easy mode, no time for lung capacity in this economy
November 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Got my breathing app on easy mode, no time for lung capacity in this economy
This must have been flagged as rude because it describes a rude thing someone did after doing a bunch of other rude things
Dick Cheney died on Election Day 25 years too late.
November 5, 2025 at 5:45 PM
This must have been flagged as rude because it describes a rude thing someone did after doing a bunch of other rude things
This has to stop happening, are you SURE dick cheney wasn’t already dead?
November 4, 2025 at 4:48 PM
This has to stop happening, are you SURE dick cheney wasn’t already dead?
Actually delighted that fb thinks i’m the right demographic for kotn’s tough guys soft sweaters campaign
November 3, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Actually delighted that fb thinks i’m the right demographic for kotn’s tough guys soft sweaters campaign
Ppl who think there’s no guns in the UK haven’t lived in the country, over here it’s vietnam season
November 3, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Ppl who think there’s no guns in the UK haven’t lived in the country, over here it’s vietnam season
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
New career path: Telling everyone that I use generative AI for everything (and then just half-assing it with my own brain) so people I don’t respect throw piles of money at me and are cool with the final product being bad.
October 29, 2025 at 10:58 PM
New career path: Telling everyone that I use generative AI for everything (and then just half-assing it with my own brain) so people I don’t respect throw piles of money at me and are cool with the final product being bad.
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
I think i’ve said this before on another app, i have no idea what anyone is talking about
October 26, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I think i’ve said this before on another app, i have no idea what anyone is talking about
Is it still called a midlife crisis if the only planet i can breathe on won’t last past my 40s
October 22, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Is it still called a midlife crisis if the only planet i can breathe on won’t last past my 40s
Just putting it out there, if 14 million of you send me a dollar at least 2 of my problems will be solved
October 22, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Just putting it out there, if 14 million of you send me a dollar at least 2 of my problems will be solved
May you and your family have a blessed international wombat day, to those who observe
October 22, 2025 at 10:13 AM
May you and your family have a blessed international wombat day, to those who observe
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
I think the iPhone has a bit of a cheek trying to make you capitalise ‘Apple’ as if they were there before the Garden of Eden.
October 19, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I think the iPhone has a bit of a cheek trying to make you capitalise ‘Apple’ as if they were there before the Garden of Eden.
READING IS NOT HARD
WHAT’S HARD IS FINDING A WEBSITE YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE URL TO
CAN THE INTERNET JUST LET US FIND THE THINGS AGAIN
WHAT’S HARD IS FINDING A WEBSITE YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE URL TO
CAN THE INTERNET JUST LET US FIND THE THINGS AGAIN
October 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
READING IS NOT HARD
WHAT’S HARD IS FINDING A WEBSITE YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE URL TO
CAN THE INTERNET JUST LET US FIND THE THINGS AGAIN
WHAT’S HARD IS FINDING A WEBSITE YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW THE URL TO
CAN THE INTERNET JUST LET US FIND THE THINGS AGAIN
I never wanted kids because i have myself been born, i’d never do that to someone
October 15, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I never wanted kids because i have myself been born, i’d never do that to someone
Black messiah felt like a signal of so more to come 😔
October 14, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Black messiah felt like a signal of so more to come 😔
I miss when the idiot box was the tv & not the global network of all human knowledge & contribution
October 14, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I miss when the idiot box was the tv & not the global network of all human knowledge & contribution
This post tells you everything you need to know about modern academia
A popular app for organizing reading materials has been updated with integrated AI to do the reading, but they still haven’t fixed the left column being too narrow to read with no option to resize the column or the text
October 14, 2025 at 4:41 PM
This post tells you everything you need to know about modern academia
A popular app for organizing reading materials has been updated with integrated AI to do the reading, but they still haven’t fixed the left column being too narrow to read with no option to resize the column or the text
October 14, 2025 at 4:39 PM
A popular app for organizing reading materials has been updated with integrated AI to do the reading, but they still haven’t fixed the left column being too narrow to read with no option to resize the column or the text