The Name’s Nutz. Neil Nutz.
@colonelnutz.bsky.social
“Fuck off” - Brian Clough, 1991
“Dad Joke Genius” - one of my children, 2025
“Annoying Tosspot” - the other child, 2025
“Dad Joke Genius” - one of my children, 2025
“Annoying Tosspot” - the other child, 2025
Pinned
🎶 Hello Muddah
Hello Faddah
Here I am in…🎶
Hello Faddah
Here I am in…🎶
I have finished the Baileys
December 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
I have finished the Baileys
My New Year Resolution is to watch fewer videos of lads trying to get through a tin of surströmming, despite knowing that every single one ends exactly the same.
December 28, 2025 at 11:35 AM
My New Year Resolution is to watch fewer videos of lads trying to get through a tin of surströmming, despite knowing that every single one ends exactly the same.
Timo Glock, November 2nd 2008:
fuck DaMassa
December 28, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Timo Glock, November 2nd 2008:
A highlight of 2025 was when I went to Detroit to dress up as the profile picture of someone who parts replies on an OF model’s Instagram story seriously expecting a sincere reply back.
December 27, 2025 at 8:29 PM
A highlight of 2025 was when I went to Detroit to dress up as the profile picture of someone who parts replies on an OF model’s Instagram story seriously expecting a sincere reply back.
Apparently 1.6m people watched Mrs Brown’s Boys on Christmas Day.
Get every single one of them on a register.
Get every single one of them on a register.
December 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Apparently 1.6m people watched Mrs Brown’s Boys on Christmas Day.
Get every single one of them on a register.
Get every single one of them on a register.
You can learn a lot from a person’s favourite Muppet
December 27, 2025 at 6:05 PM
You can learn a lot from a person’s favourite Muppet
Aaah, lovely lovely Worlds Strongest Man.
Not just for the competition, but for Eddie Hall’s acting in the competition bit.
This year, it looks like he’s shagging a train carriage.
Not just for the competition, but for Eddie Hall’s acting in the competition bit.
This year, it looks like he’s shagging a train carriage.
December 27, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Aaah, lovely lovely Worlds Strongest Man.
Not just for the competition, but for Eddie Hall’s acting in the competition bit.
This year, it looks like he’s shagging a train carriage.
Not just for the competition, but for Eddie Hall’s acting in the competition bit.
This year, it looks like he’s shagging a train carriage.
What’s everyone’s favourite Avatar quote?
Mine is “fuck me, Avatar, you look like leather”
Mine is “fuck me, Avatar, you look like leather”
What’s everyone’s favourite Avatar quote?
Mine is “Hakuna Avatar”
Mine is “Hakuna Avatar”
What’s everyone’s favourite Avatar quote?
Mine is: "Avatars Assemble"
Mine is: "Avatars Assemble"
December 27, 2025 at 2:50 PM
What’s everyone’s favourite Avatar quote?
Mine is “fuck me, Avatar, you look like leather”
Mine is “fuck me, Avatar, you look like leather”
Oh, Biggins is going viral again for saying some disgusting shite, here’s the last time he said some disgusting shite…<checks notes>…barely a school term ago.
Oh look, Biggins is being a cunt again.
December 27, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Oh, Biggins is going viral again for saying some disgusting shite, here’s the last time he said some disgusting shite…<checks notes>…barely a school term ago.
Reposted by The Name’s Nutz. Neil Nutz.
Are the most tedious bastards in the world claiming not to know what day it is yet?
December 27, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Are the most tedious bastards in the world claiming not to know what day it is yet?
That thing I’ve just spent the last 45 minutes thinking about in lieu of sleep? Yeah, I’d already pondered it previously…
You know what? I can see Muppets Die Hard work WITHOUT KERMIT.
I know, absolutely scandalous. But an absolute treat.
Fozzie is McLean, Piggy as Gennaro, Gonzo as Gruber (chickens are by default henchmen). Rolf is Powell, Waldorf & Statler the CIA guys. Bunsen as Takagi.
I know, absolutely scandalous. But an absolute treat.
Fozzie is McLean, Piggy as Gennaro, Gonzo as Gruber (chickens are by default henchmen). Rolf is Powell, Waldorf & Statler the CIA guys. Bunsen as Takagi.
December 27, 2025 at 3:35 AM
That thing I’ve just spent the last 45 minutes thinking about in lieu of sleep? Yeah, I’d already pondered it previously…
The white van man who stopped me in the street, saw my dashed head and beard combo, and proclaimed “you look like a bollock”
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
The white van man who stopped me in the street, saw my dashed head and beard combo, and proclaimed “you look like a bollock”
More cheese than is advisable for dinner.
December 26, 2025 at 6:41 PM
More cheese than is advisable for dinner.
Christmas evening isn’t Christmas evening until Kenny Ball and his Jazz Men have made a guest appearance
December 25, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Christmas evening isn’t Christmas evening until Kenny Ball and his Jazz Men have made a guest appearance
…and Tiny Kelis, who did NOT bring all the boys to the yard.
December 25, 2025 at 5:07 PM
…and Tiny Kelis, who did NOT bring all the boys to the yard.
Reposted by The Name’s Nutz. Neil Nutz.
🎵 SIMPLY
HAVING
A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN
HAVING
A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN
December 25, 2025 at 4:18 PM
🎵 SIMPLY
HAVING
A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN
HAVING
A SHIT ON MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN
Extremely sad.
December 25, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Extremely sad.
Reposted by The Name’s Nutz. Neil Nutz.
Me, asking what time the King’s Speech is on today:
December 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Me, asking what time the King’s Speech is on today:
This is before it gets glazed, by the way…
December 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
This is before it gets glazed, by the way…
Just watch Wallace & Gromit. Wallace just closed with the words “there’s just some things that no one other than a dog can do”, followed by a cheeky wink and a strange groan directed at Gromit.
Is he…..I mean….are they….?
Is he…..I mean….are they….?
December 25, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Just watch Wallace & Gromit. Wallace just closed with the words “there’s just some things that no one other than a dog can do”, followed by a cheeky wink and a strange groan directed at Gromit.
Is he…..I mean….are they….?
Is he…..I mean….are they….?
Singing all the Christmas hits today, but singing Cyrus Christie instead of Merry Christmas. Only been told to shut the fuck up twice.
#bwfc
#bwfc
December 25, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Singing all the Christmas hits today, but singing Cyrus Christie instead of Merry Christmas. Only been told to shut the fuck up twice.
#bwfc
#bwfc
Why do contract lawyers insist on playing Band Aid throughout every Christmas Day?
Force Midge Ure
Force Midge Ure
December 25, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Why do contract lawyers insist on playing Band Aid throughout every Christmas Day?
Force Midge Ure
Force Midge Ure