Andy Parmo
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andyparmo.co.uk
Andy Parmo
@andyparmo.co.uk
The plural of sheep is sheeps.

Geordie in Middlesbrough. MD ANT.
Missus: would you ever apply to go on The Traitors?
Me: no chance. You have to eat your dinner off your knees and stay up until midnight every day
January 2, 2026 at 9:38 PM
In undercarriage news, I have managed a clear fart. Repeat: a clear fart
January 2, 2026 at 8:23 PM
This year’s really dragging isn’t it
January 2, 2026 at 8:02 PM
I’ve had nothing to eat since yesterday except three slices of toast because poorly. Maybe wuffing a giant tube of smarties as soon as I felt better wasn’t a good idea
January 2, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Reposted by Andy Parmo
January 1, 2026 at 4:56 PM
Attempted to fart. Foolish
January 1, 2026 at 6:31 PM
January 1, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Over the last few days, the missus and nipper have both had the lurgy. I prided myself on not having succumbed to this lurgy.

But the lurgy was not finished with us. I have spent the past 12 hours yoffing and pissing rusty water out my hoop. What a start to 2026
January 1, 2026 at 2:29 PM
January 1, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Right. Moff to bed. Later, potater.
(10 points if you know where the gif is from)
January 1, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Am out walking the dog and hiccuping every 10 steps
January 1, 2026 at 12:52 AM
LOOK AT MY FUCKING RED SHORS
December 31, 2025 at 11:40 PM
This is my view right now. CHOOOOOOON
December 31, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Before the mobile networks all crash, you can all fuck off
December 31, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Scenes.
December 31, 2025 at 7:14 PM
What was your biggest impact on the internet?
December 31, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I AM CHEESING
December 31, 2025 at 12:39 PM
December 29, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Remembering Venus x
December 29, 2025 at 8:48 AM
I am on a bus. More news as we get it.
December 29, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Reposted by Andy Parmo
Spermafrost.
December 28, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Reposted by Andy Parmo
When I was a teenager on a freezing cold night I had a sneaky wank outside our house by where our bins were kept. A couple of hours later my dad was putting rubbish in the bin and slipped on my frozen jizz and done his back in.
December 28, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Have they got rid of that fucking omaze house yet
December 28, 2025 at 9:51 PM
I AM CHEESING
December 28, 2025 at 9:49 PM
December 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM