Christina
banner
clpatters.bsky.social
Christina
@clpatters.bsky.social
ROC, NY.
Reposted by Christina
I’m not interested in Olivia Nuzzi’s book because I’m a human being with self respect and if I ever wanted to read dogshit writing about yearning despite having no real problems, I could just dig up poems I wrote in middle school
December 3, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Reposted by Christina
I see he’s moved on from the couch
December 3, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I got the last sock of shit! I got the last sock of shit!
December 2, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Reposted by Christina
Illustrations from Adventures of Lolo (Famicom, 1990) manual:
i.imgur.com/LQ4BOTF.png
December 2, 2025 at 11:33 PM
This time of year especially makes me happy that I stopped drinking beer and don’t really drink anymore at all.
December 2, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Reposted by Christina
December 2, 2025 at 2:34 AM
This year was overall awful, but at least I had each month’s issue as something to look forward to after last year‘s purchase.
Hi everybody,

It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.

Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.

This is, somehow, feasible.

So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Reposted by Christina
November 26, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Reposted by Christina
So much of social media is like “Take me back to the good old days when horses were allowed to have two heads” and then there’s an AI generated image of a horse with three heads.
November 25, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Reposted by Christina
Driving a whole truckful of Diet Coke through the wall of the Oval Office like the Kool-Aid man, trying to distract Trump.
November 21, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by Christina
How the dog looks at me when i take the cheese out the fridge
November 21, 2025 at 9:27 PM
There were people on Twitter defending their purchases from Shein because they claimed their clothes were the only ones that fit them well.
I remember when there was a discussion on Twitter about Shein's manufacturing practices and some apologists invented all sorts of fantastical machinery and technology to avoid facing the more horrifying truth. Reminds me of this comedian's joke.

IG bscomedian
November 21, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Ofc today I also got the bill for my surgery, but with insurance it was only (“only”) ~$1K.
November 20, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Reposted by Christina
BONUS MOE-NESS: Leg-Moe

#Simpsons #TheSimpsons #moevember
November 20, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Reposted by Christina
rfk jr has heard this and rumbled that he was on his way
November 20, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Reposted by Christina
YOU WERE IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY AND HAD SEX WITH A CHILD THAT IS NOT A “CONSENSUAL ENCOUNTER” WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE
epstein emails released and everyone coming out as a pedophile to defend donald trump
November 17, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Reposted by Christina
November 15, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Found $10 in my work pant’s pocket!
November 14, 2025 at 12:43 PM
November 13, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Reposted by Christina
cartoon, australian microcomputer, magazine (1983) archive.org/details/aust...
November 13, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Cleared yesterday to start (veeery gradually) getting more activity and exercise in. Never calling any of my runs or race times slow again.
November 13, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Reposted by Christina
probably something an innocent man would do
November 12, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Reposted by Christina
It feels a bit odd to be "rooting" for POTUS to be a pedophile. But the fact is, we all know he's a pedophile. We're just rooting for him to face consequences for once.
As Karoline Leavitt concludes her press briefing and walks off, @andrewfeinberg.com asks: "What was the president doing with Virginia Giuffre for hours at Epstein's house?"

She did not respond.
November 12, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Walked past someone in the hallway at work who smelled just like Gap Dream and I was immediately transported back to another time. I don’t think even the outlet sells it anymore, but now I NEED to find it again.
November 12, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Reposted by Christina
it's not that i ever doubted that being a barista was a skilled position, but my year-long effort to try to produce a half-decent latte at home has convinced me that a good barista is easily more skilled than virtually every c-suite executive on the planet
November 11, 2025 at 3:58 PM