Chris Keilman | Author
@ckanomalies.bsky.social
👻Writing spooky mysteries from a treehouse.
🌠Check out my newsletter on Substack and Patreon
🔍McSweeney's. Points in Case. Slackjaw.
🍩Let's delve into the strange, heavily frosted mysteries of the universe.
Read here 👇
https://linktr.ee/chriskeilman
🌠Check out my newsletter on Substack and Patreon
🔍McSweeney's. Points in Case. Slackjaw.
🍩Let's delve into the strange, heavily frosted mysteries of the universe.
Read here 👇
https://linktr.ee/chriskeilman
20 year olds in 2025:
"Join my channel for more tips to manifest and be your own boss."
20 year olds in 2005:
WE HAVE GOTTEN CRUNK.
TELL THE WORLD.
"Join my channel for more tips to manifest and be your own boss."
20 year olds in 2005:
WE HAVE GOTTEN CRUNK.
TELL THE WORLD.
December 2, 2025 at 9:14 PM
20 year olds in 2025:
"Join my channel for more tips to manifest and be your own boss."
20 year olds in 2005:
WE HAVE GOTTEN CRUNK.
TELL THE WORLD.
"Join my channel for more tips to manifest and be your own boss."
20 year olds in 2005:
WE HAVE GOTTEN CRUNK.
TELL THE WORLD.
The "3 second rule" of advertising--surely that's when you drop an Oreo on the floor and still wish to eat it.
December 2, 2025 at 8:44 PM
The "3 second rule" of advertising--surely that's when you drop an Oreo on the floor and still wish to eat it.
I was not surprised that my family got weird about vaccines over Thanksgiving--I was surprised at WHO got weird... and HOW.
December 2, 2025 at 7:45 AM
I was not surprised that my family got weird about vaccines over Thanksgiving--I was surprised at WHO got weird... and HOW.
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Imagine what they're doing we don't know about.
Gophers, moles, burrowing owls, who knows what they get up to under there.
Gophers, moles, burrowing owls, who knows what they get up to under there.
December 2, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Imagine what they're doing we don't know about.
Gophers, moles, burrowing owls, who knows what they get up to under there.
Gophers, moles, burrowing owls, who knows what they get up to under there.
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Not sure why the comedian podcasts always have to have an entourage of less-funny people.
December 2, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Not sure why the comedian podcasts always have to have an entourage of less-funny people.
How does one go live on twitch? Like, seriously, how do you do it? It's very not intuitive.
December 2, 2025 at 2:25 AM
How does one go live on twitch? Like, seriously, how do you do it? It's very not intuitive.
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
new knives out is the best of the bunch imo
December 1, 2025 at 9:22 PM
new knives out is the best of the bunch imo
Strange Freeways: A Memoir
When the familiar becomes strange.
ckanomalies.substack.com
December 1, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Just now realizing there's no emoji for fainting dramatically, lace napkin in hand, hand to forehead, and what's up with that?
December 1, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Just now realizing there's no emoji for fainting dramatically, lace napkin in hand, hand to forehead, and what's up with that?
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Men, if you're age 120-125, and your social circle isn't frequently discussing:
-Fathering 10,000 babies
-Eating people (*plural*)
Then it's time to elevate your circle
-Fathering 10,000 babies
-Eating people (*plural*)
Then it's time to elevate your circle
December 1, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Men, if you're age 120-125, and your social circle isn't frequently discussing:
-Fathering 10,000 babies
-Eating people (*plural*)
Then it's time to elevate your circle
-Fathering 10,000 babies
-Eating people (*plural*)
Then it's time to elevate your circle
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
“Ah, just one more thing, sir. You’re blowing up those boats, saying they’re filled with drugs headed for the US. But then you go and pardon the guy who brought in 400 tons of cocaine. That’s billions of doses. Help me understand that.”
November 30, 2025 at 3:25 AM
“Ah, just one more thing, sir. You’re blowing up those boats, saying they’re filled with drugs headed for the US. But then you go and pardon the guy who brought in 400 tons of cocaine. That’s billions of doses. Help me understand that.”
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Happy Caturday! Cats are natural anti capitalists.
November 29, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Happy Caturday! Cats are natural anti capitalists.
Ted’s gotta be able to handle yams if he wants to eat with the big boys.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pos...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pos...
Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
REPORTER: I’m here live with Ted moments after completing his first Thanksgiving dinner at the Grown-Ups’ Table. At only 12 years and 209 days, you...
www.mcsweeneys.net
November 29, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Ted’s gotta be able to handle yams if he wants to eat with the big boys.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pos...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/pos...
If I win the lottery, I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs
November 29, 2025 at 9:18 AM
If I win the lottery, I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs
I often think back to a fiction workshop in college where the instructor did not like my work, so he used the class to interrogate me.
Fine. I just wonder, when my work provokes an emotional response like that, we're going beyond the "this doesn't work for me" place and into... something else.
Fine. I just wonder, when my work provokes an emotional response like that, we're going beyond the "this doesn't work for me" place and into... something else.
November 29, 2025 at 2:41 AM
I often think back to a fiction workshop in college where the instructor did not like my work, so he used the class to interrogate me.
Fine. I just wonder, when my work provokes an emotional response like that, we're going beyond the "this doesn't work for me" place and into... something else.
Fine. I just wonder, when my work provokes an emotional response like that, we're going beyond the "this doesn't work for me" place and into... something else.
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Who up brusselin' they sprouts?
November 28, 2025 at 8:51 AM
Who up brusselin' they sprouts?
Waiting for a bus.
November 28, 2025 at 8:14 AM
Waiting for a bus.
Reposted by Chris Keilman | Author
Watching MST3K bloopers the way god intended--on a Panasonic AG-500R.
November 28, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Watching MST3K bloopers the way god intended--on a Panasonic AG-500R.
There is a magic to seeing a movie in the theater and laughing with strangers.
November 26, 2025 at 6:05 PM
There is a magic to seeing a movie in the theater and laughing with strangers.