Al Green's Pimp Cane
@chonktingle.bsky.social
Queer goth woman with a fetish for dead billionaires and fascists. Not in a necrophiliac way but in a fuck on their grave before it gets turned into a public restroom way. Also I like roller skating and amusement park rides and your mom.
So I'm finally ok enough at karate that I'm allowed to do the sparring class and HOLY SHIT IT IS SO GOOD
February 12, 2026 at 1:26 AM
So I'm finally ok enough at karate that I'm allowed to do the sparring class and HOLY SHIT IT IS SO GOOD
New season of @dungeonsanddads.bsky.social is out!
February 10, 2026 at 5:28 PM
New season of @dungeonsanddads.bsky.social is out!
Ok, that Bad Bunny show just made me want to go to Puerto Rico
February 9, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Ok, that Bad Bunny show just made me want to go to Puerto Rico
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
you give me and the fellas 24 ice cold high life bottles and we’ll come up with 8-12 new must see Winter Olympics sports, I know that
February 7, 2026 at 3:25 PM
you give me and the fellas 24 ice cold high life bottles and we’ll come up with 8-12 new must see Winter Olympics sports, I know that
Fleabag is Mamdani's Wario
GM: Charisma check.
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
February 7, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Fleabag is Mamdani's Wario
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
Dear Employees,
Here at the Dick Sucking Factory we believe that we're all a big family. That's why we in management are disturbed by the ongoing rumours about a "union". We strongly believe that such a measure is neither necessary, or indeed aligned with our company values.
Here at the Dick Sucking Factory we believe that we're all a big family. That's why we in management are disturbed by the ongoing rumours about a "union". We strongly believe that such a measure is neither necessary, or indeed aligned with our company values.
February 6, 2026 at 8:32 PM
Dear Employees,
Here at the Dick Sucking Factory we believe that we're all a big family. That's why we in management are disturbed by the ongoing rumours about a "union". We strongly believe that such a measure is neither necessary, or indeed aligned with our company values.
Here at the Dick Sucking Factory we believe that we're all a big family. That's why we in management are disturbed by the ongoing rumours about a "union". We strongly believe that such a measure is neither necessary, or indeed aligned with our company values.
Dankey Kang's Wario is Janky Kang. I will not be taking questions at this time
February 6, 2026 at 5:29 PM
Dankey Kang's Wario is Janky Kang. I will not be taking questions at this time
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
please enjoy brand new tingler POUNDED BY THIS WEREGROUNDHOG IN A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS TIME LOOP ON GROUNDHOG DAY out now. get it here www.amazon.com/Pounded-Were... or on patreon www.patreon.com/posts/pounde...
February 2, 2026 at 2:06 PM
please enjoy brand new tingler POUNDED BY THIS WEREGROUNDHOG IN A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS TIME LOOP ON GROUNDHOG DAY out now. get it here www.amazon.com/Pounded-Were... or on patreon www.patreon.com/posts/pounde...
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
Today, I made historic appointments who will lead key agencies and create a city where everyone can thrive.
I appointed Stanley Richards as Commissioner of DOC. Decades after he served time in our city’s jails, Commissioner Richards will now be the first formerly incarcerated person to lead them.
I appointed Stanley Richards as Commissioner of DOC. Decades after he served time in our city’s jails, Commissioner Richards will now be the first formerly incarcerated person to lead them.
February 1, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Today, I made historic appointments who will lead key agencies and create a city where everyone can thrive.
I appointed Stanley Richards as Commissioner of DOC. Decades after he served time in our city’s jails, Commissioner Richards will now be the first formerly incarcerated person to lead them.
I appointed Stanley Richards as Commissioner of DOC. Decades after he served time in our city’s jails, Commissioner Richards will now be the first formerly incarcerated person to lead them.
And today I learned that Goofy's legal name is G.G. Goof. I'm not saying Goofy is GG Allin's namesake but I'm not not saying that
Before Jill Valentine, there was Max Goof
Disney Afternoon Collection gets a Switch upgrade with one game you can't miss
Before Jill Valentine, there was Max Goof
www.polygon.com
January 29, 2026 at 6:02 PM
And today I learned that Goofy's legal name is G.G. Goof. I'm not saying Goofy is GG Allin's namesake but I'm not not saying that
I wonder what the average age cutoff for therapy is. Like at some point you must be like "welp, too late to unfuck this mess"
January 29, 2026 at 2:03 PM
I wonder what the average age cutoff for therapy is. Like at some point you must be like "welp, too late to unfuck this mess"
There's something deeply satisfying and empowering in not having kids in the sense of staring down the millions of years of evolution leading up to you and saying "fuck you, no"
January 24, 2026 at 9:12 PM
There's something deeply satisfying and empowering in not having kids in the sense of staring down the millions of years of evolution leading up to you and saying "fuck you, no"
The book abides
please enjoy new tingler THE BIG LEBUTTSKI out now. you can get it here www.amazon.com/dp/B0GHXVP7V7 or on true buckaroo tier patreon www.patreon.com/posts/big-le...
January 21, 2026 at 4:26 PM
The book abides
Taylor Swift is Dolly Parton's Dolan & Gooby
January 21, 2026 at 10:14 AM
Taylor Swift is Dolly Parton's Dolan & Gooby
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
Everyone shows this graphic, but omits the final stage that says "RUGS".
January 20, 2026 at 8:51 PM
Everyone shows this graphic, but omits the final stage that says "RUGS".
I was in a store this morning and overheard a bunch of business bros fervidly talking about a sports that happened over the weekend and it was kind of irritating and I couldn't figure out why as I generally have a policy of letting people like things.
January 20, 2026 at 3:39 PM
I was in a store this morning and overheard a bunch of business bros fervidly talking about a sports that happened over the weekend and it was kind of irritating and I couldn't figure out why as I generally have a policy of letting people like things.
ice is what happens when you go to the guidance counselor as a child and when they ask you what you want to do when you grow up, you answer "racism"
January 19, 2026 at 8:04 PM
ice is what happens when you go to the guidance counselor as a child and when they ask you what you want to do when you grow up, you answer "racism"
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
“Shoot me, bitch! Shoot me, bitch!”
January 15, 2026 at 4:02 AM
“Shoot me, bitch! Shoot me, bitch!”
Tonight my therapist said "I have hope because of people like you" and I don't know if I should be praised or criticized for not crying over that
January 15, 2026 at 2:49 AM
Tonight my therapist said "I have hope because of people like you" and I don't know if I should be praised or criticized for not crying over that
If this doesn't involve gay sex, specifically docking, I'm not even going to bother stealing it via internet crime. Unless it's about penguins because I love those greasy fucks (not in a sex way, gay or otherwise)
January 14, 2026 at 6:58 PM
If this doesn't involve gay sex, specifically docking, I'm not even going to bother stealing it via internet crime. Unless it's about penguins because I love those greasy fucks (not in a sex way, gay or otherwise)
What up tlt gang, we tin foil hatted so hard Tor had to make an official response.
Now I'm off to craft new conspiracy theories about what THIS post REALLY means
Now I'm off to craft new conspiracy theories about what THIS post REALLY means
January 14, 2026 at 6:50 PM
What up tlt gang, we tin foil hatted so hard Tor had to make an official response.
Now I'm off to craft new conspiracy theories about what THIS post REALLY means
Now I'm off to craft new conspiracy theories about what THIS post REALLY means
Mang, I don't know how to feel about this MN ice situation. Like fuck ice 1000% but I'm not hyped about the part where it requires the murder of a white woman before we collectively start giving a shit on a larger scale
January 8, 2026 at 10:16 PM
Mang, I don't know how to feel about this MN ice situation. Like fuck ice 1000% but I'm not hyped about the part where it requires the murder of a white woman before we collectively start giving a shit on a larger scale
Reposted by Al Green's Pimp Cane
Bluesky community! This is my official NYC mayor account. I’ll be posting updates on what’s happening at City Hall and how we’re delivering for New Yorkers. It’s great to be here.
January 8, 2026 at 1:37 PM
Bluesky community! This is my official NYC mayor account. I’ll be posting updates on what’s happening at City Hall and how we’re delivering for New Yorkers. It’s great to be here.
I keep seeing bus stop ads for some show called pole to pole and it is apparently on national geographic and far less homosexual than I require it to be
January 8, 2026 at 2:28 PM
I keep seeing bus stop ads for some show called pole to pole and it is apparently on national geographic and far less homosexual than I require it to be
Ok so you know the whole the moon being made out of cheese thing? My new theory is that elomb wants to go to Mars because he thinks it's made out of ketamine
January 7, 2026 at 10:53 PM
Ok so you know the whole the moon being made out of cheese thing? My new theory is that elomb wants to go to Mars because he thinks it's made out of ketamine