Philip
@blumphy.bsky.social
‘Bring out yer dead’
Without revealing your actual age,what's something you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand?
January 9, 2026 at 12:17 PM
‘Bring out yer dead’
‘Wrigley spearmint gum, gum, gum
Yer can stick it up yer bum, bum, bum
And if it doesn’t stick, stick stick
Yer can stick it…’
I’ve forgotten the rest. Can anyone help me out?
Yer can stick it up yer bum, bum, bum
And if it doesn’t stick, stick stick
Yer can stick it…’
I’ve forgotten the rest. Can anyone help me out?
January 9, 2026 at 10:19 AM
‘Wrigley spearmint gum, gum, gum
Yer can stick it up yer bum, bum, bum
And if it doesn’t stick, stick stick
Yer can stick it…’
I’ve forgotten the rest. Can anyone help me out?
Yer can stick it up yer bum, bum, bum
And if it doesn’t stick, stick stick
Yer can stick it…’
I’ve forgotten the rest. Can anyone help me out?
No new pictures, where are you mentally?
January 9, 2026 at 6:10 AM
No new pictures, where are you mentally?
So, walking round like you’ve just fell out of a skip and you’re ready to cook-up is a thing now?
January 8, 2026 at 1:15 PM
So, walking round like you’ve just fell out of a skip and you’re ready to cook-up is a thing now?
Just started watching Hercules the Bear - A Love Story which is on iPlayer. It’s a documentary about this puddled couple from Clackmannanshire, Scotland who have a grizzly bear as a pet
Anyone seen it? Please tell me it ate them, like the ones who ate Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend
Anyone seen it? Please tell me it ate them, like the ones who ate Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend
January 8, 2026 at 11:52 AM
Just started watching Hercules the Bear - A Love Story which is on iPlayer. It’s a documentary about this puddled couple from Clackmannanshire, Scotland who have a grizzly bear as a pet
Anyone seen it? Please tell me it ate them, like the ones who ate Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend
Anyone seen it? Please tell me it ate them, like the ones who ate Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend
Ruben Am was only the start of it
Came in and made a right Beavers fart of it
Now he’s gone
Jim won’t fix it for you
And you and you…’
Shit! Needs work. 2 pon 10
Came in and made a right Beavers fart of it
Now he’s gone
Jim won’t fix it for you
And you and you…’
Shit! Needs work. 2 pon 10
‘The club is in a mess’: Manchester United fans voice feelings before the next interim twist
‘The club is in a mess’: Manchester United fans voice feelings before the next interim twist
Supporters serenaded Solskjær, Carrick and Fletcher among others at Burnley and staged a brief anti-Ratcliffe protest
www.theguardian.com
January 8, 2026 at 11:22 AM
Ruben Am was only the start of it
Came in and made a right Beavers fart of it
Now he’s gone
Jim won’t fix it for you
And you and you…’
Shit! Needs work. 2 pon 10
Came in and made a right Beavers fart of it
Now he’s gone
Jim won’t fix it for you
And you and you…’
Shit! Needs work. 2 pon 10
Reposted by Philip
Got pissed the other night and about £500 worth of Lego has just arrived at ours. No idea.
So I’ll spend the afternoon sending that back.
So I’ll spend the afternoon sending that back.
a hedgehog made out of lego bricks has a video play button on its head
ALT: a hedgehog made out of lego bricks has a video play button on its head
media.tenor.com
January 8, 2026 at 9:58 AM
Got pissed the other night and about £500 worth of Lego has just arrived at ours. No idea.
So I’ll spend the afternoon sending that back.
So I’ll spend the afternoon sending that back.
Your ma, with roughly 50 followers all local to her in the UK has just posted this to her FB page
January 8, 2026 at 9:44 AM
Your ma, with roughly 50 followers all local to her in the UK has just posted this to her FB page
Reposted by Philip
Hey everyone I found a piece of news today that isn't bad: english.kyodonews.net/articles/-/6... #CatSky
Japan railway names 3rd cat stationmaster
A calico cat named Yontama was appointed Wednesday the third feline stationmaster of a local Japanese railway station, continuing an almost two-decade tradition that has boosted tourism and helped res...
english.kyodonews.net
January 8, 2026 at 6:49 AM
Hey everyone I found a piece of news today that isn't bad: english.kyodonews.net/articles/-/6... #CatSky
You know what, I’ll genuinely be surprised if the World Cup actually goes ahead, especially with Trump about to invade Mexico and promising he’ll ban certain places of hosting match’s
Poor Scotland, but lol
Poor Scotland, but lol
January 7, 2026 at 5:05 PM
You know what, I’ll genuinely be surprised if the World Cup actually goes ahead, especially with Trump about to invade Mexico and promising he’ll ban certain places of hosting match’s
Poor Scotland, but lol
Poor Scotland, but lol
Seeing my lad in a bit and I’m taking us round a chippy tea. Asked him what his fiancé would like, he then asked me for a menu!? Ffs!
Anyway, 20 minutes later and he wants fish & chips!
Kind of oddball asks for a menu for a chippy tea?
Anyway, 20 minutes later and he wants fish & chips!
Kind of oddball asks for a menu for a chippy tea?
January 7, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Seeing my lad in a bit and I’m taking us round a chippy tea. Asked him what his fiancé would like, he then asked me for a menu!? Ffs!
Anyway, 20 minutes later and he wants fish & chips!
Kind of oddball asks for a menu for a chippy tea?
Anyway, 20 minutes later and he wants fish & chips!
Kind of oddball asks for a menu for a chippy tea?
Cheech & Chong YouTube channel
January 7, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Cheech & Chong YouTube channel
Please Donald and Putin, make it quick and for the love of God nuke Eccles first! I don’t want even the remotest chance of surviving your shitty planet destroying war
Pair of wankers!
Pair of wankers!
January 7, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Please Donald and Putin, make it quick and for the love of God nuke Eccles first! I don’t want even the remotest chance of surviving your shitty planet destroying war
Pair of wankers!
Pair of wankers!
Reposted by Philip
Brilliant, as ever
File under the ever-growing subgenre of my work which I’m calling ‘Inanimate Object Has A Massive Go At A Person For No Reason’
![Comic strip script:
Scene is a SUPERMARKET, a MAN is walking past a display of CREME EGGS with his trolley.
1
MAN:
Tut
2
CREME EGG [talking to him from the shelf]:
Excuse me - did you just tut at us?
3
MAN:
W-what?
CREME EGG:
Tutting because you’ve seen ‘Easter eggs’ on January 11th, is it?
4
MAN:
What? Well, y-yes, I -
CREME EGG:
Listen, Tut boy
5
CREME EGG:
We are not Easter eggs. We are Creme Eggs.
6
CREME EGG:
We are the shock troops of seasonal capitalism. Eldritch simulacra of rebirth. Fondant mockery of life.
7
CREME EGG:
Not for us the grand safety of a cardboard box. Oh no.
They put us out here first, in our little foil uniforms, every January, to face the wrath of the nation.
8
CREME EGG:
And what you gonna do about it? Tut? Snark about us on social media?
9
CREME EGG:
Maybe you’ll write a little column in the Telegraph titled “It Is Sad That The Easter Eggs Are Out Already”.
10
CREME EGG:
You tut because you know that unlike you, we will return, every January…
…forever.
11
CREME EGG:
The eternal rebirth of mammon! The endless -
MAN:
Oh go on then
[He puts one of the Creme Eggs in his trolley]
12
CREME EGG:
HA HA YOU WORM](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreigf4nleeln6m3pznu3n33mmk4m2f7uwxg7qh6khg4e5l65yycrdjy@jpeg)
January 7, 2026 at 12:50 PM
Brilliant, as ever
Reposted by Philip
Just having a chat here with Francis and Bill Shutter concerning Stephen Hawking and Francis reckon Stephen was once caught reffing a Sunday League match
Anyone know if that’s true or is Francis pulling our pissers?
Anyone know if that’s true or is Francis pulling our pissers?
Yep...He got caught reffing Sunday league didn't he.
Cash in hand in it.
Cash in hand in it.
January 6, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Just having a chat here with Francis and Bill Shutter concerning Stephen Hawking and Francis reckon Stephen was once caught reffing a Sunday League match
Anyone know if that’s true or is Francis pulling our pissers?
Anyone know if that’s true or is Francis pulling our pissers?
Who are your top 10 all-time favourite guitarists? Top of the head stuff.
Marr
Frame
Reilly
Adamson
Sergeant
That’s about all I can think of! The rest are meh, I suppose
Marr
Frame
Reilly
Adamson
Sergeant
That’s about all I can think of! The rest are meh, I suppose
Who are your top 10 all-time favourite guitarists? Top of the head stuff.
In no particular order:
Teemu Mantysaari
Nuno Bettencourt
Alexi Laiho
Antti Kokko
Jari Liimatainen
Jeff Loomis
Slash
Jari Maenpaa
Christian Munzner
Synyster Gates
In no particular order:
Teemu Mantysaari
Nuno Bettencourt
Alexi Laiho
Antti Kokko
Jari Liimatainen
Jeff Loomis
Slash
Jari Maenpaa
Christian Munzner
Synyster Gates
Who are your top 10 all-time favourite guitarists? Top of the head stuff.
In no particular order:
Page Hamilton
Adam Jones
Tom Morello
David Gilmour
Kerry King/Jeff Hanneman
The Edge
Nuno Bettencourt
EVH
Dimebag Darrell
In no particular order:
Page Hamilton
Adam Jones
Tom Morello
David Gilmour
Kerry King/Jeff Hanneman
The Edge
Nuno Bettencourt
EVH
Dimebag Darrell
January 6, 2026 at 7:41 PM
Who are your top 10 all-time favourite guitarists? Top of the head stuff.
Marr
Frame
Reilly
Adamson
Sergeant
That’s about all I can think of! The rest are meh, I suppose
Marr
Frame
Reilly
Adamson
Sergeant
That’s about all I can think of! The rest are meh, I suppose
Here @williamshuttoh.bsky.social - get a load of this lying bastard! Wasn’t Cloud 9 on Cross Street?
This image shows the location of Cloud-9, which is 2,000 light-years from Earth.
This image shows the location of Cloud-9, which is 2,000 light-years from Earth.
www.esahubble.org
January 6, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Here @williamshuttoh.bsky.social - get a load of this lying bastard! Wasn’t Cloud 9 on Cross Street?
Hahahaha! Butt mentions getting Bruce in! Hahahahahahaha!
I fell off the couch laughing and got back on just so I could fall off again
Absolute clowns these 3!
I fell off the couch laughing and got back on just so I could fall off again
Absolute clowns these 3!
The collective brain rot of these clowns.
If you’d have told me as a kid we’d have times like these.
If you’d have told me as a kid we’d have times like these.
January 6, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Hahahaha! Butt mentions getting Bruce in! Hahahahahahaha!
I fell off the couch laughing and got back on just so I could fall off again
Absolute clowns these 3!
I fell off the couch laughing and got back on just so I could fall off again
Absolute clowns these 3!
Fell off the top of this thing Davyhulme Park Bandstand, chasing after a cig I had ‘first-on’ on, almost broke my back. My dad had little sympathy for me, he put a handful of salt on my wound telling me ‘make a man of yer’
I cried
I cried
January 6, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Fell off the top of this thing Davyhulme Park Bandstand, chasing after a cig I had ‘first-on’ on, almost broke my back. My dad had little sympathy for me, he put a handful of salt on my wound telling me ‘make a man of yer’
I cried
I cried
Reposted by Philip
Here's me chatting about Billy Liar and the wider long-lost black and white world of Britain in the early sixties. How can something made before The Beatles even took off still have so much resonance? Join us and find out!
timworthington.org/2024/12/30/g...
timworthington.org/2024/12/30/g...
Goon Pod: Billy Liar
Why do so many people love Billy Liar so much when so many of its contemporaries have been forgotten? Here’s a chat about just that.
timworthington.org
January 5, 2026 at 9:02 PM
Here's me chatting about Billy Liar and the wider long-lost black and white world of Britain in the early sixties. How can something made before The Beatles even took off still have so much resonance? Join us and find out!
timworthington.org/2024/12/30/g...
timworthington.org/2024/12/30/g...
BBC interviewing SWR and Bez just now about their upcoming tour
Interviewer - will it be the whole band then?
SWR - everyone apart from our kid, he’s dead
Laugh? I almost coughed a lung up!
Interviewer - will it be the whole band then?
SWR - everyone apart from our kid, he’s dead
Laugh? I almost coughed a lung up!
January 6, 2026 at 8:56 AM
BBC interviewing SWR and Bez just now about their upcoming tour
Interviewer - will it be the whole band then?
SWR - everyone apart from our kid, he’s dead
Laugh? I almost coughed a lung up!
Interviewer - will it be the whole band then?
SWR - everyone apart from our kid, he’s dead
Laugh? I almost coughed a lung up!
It’s amusing and staggering to think the biggest club in English football has actually only ever had 3 managers who’ve won the league
Stop giving a shit and you’ll be reet
Stop giving a shit and you’ll be reet
January 5, 2026 at 5:10 PM
It’s amusing and staggering to think the biggest club in English football has actually only ever had 3 managers who’ve won the league
Stop giving a shit and you’ll be reet
Stop giving a shit and you’ll be reet
This is pretty insane and something I never knew about. If only all cup matches finishing in draws could be decided like this. Imagine the lunacy and heads falling off on social media?
January 5, 2026 at 11:45 AM
This is pretty insane and something I never knew about. If only all cup matches finishing in draws could be decided like this. Imagine the lunacy and heads falling off on social media?