Turbo Sloth
@benpernick.bsky.social
Jokes, puns, sloths, comedy songs, pizza
Fun fact: The “FOX” in FOX News actually stands for Fake Outrage Xenophobia
November 3, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Fun fact: The “FOX” in FOX News actually stands for Fake Outrage Xenophobia
Participating in #TGFBI is fun because like 2 days back when I was like “I was just knocked out of 1st by some guy named Bret Sayre? Who the heck does this guy think he is?”
And then I look him up and I’m like “Oh, apparently he’s the President and CEO of Baseball Prospectus. Whatever.”
And then I look him up and I’m like “Oh, apparently he’s the President and CEO of Baseball Prospectus. Whatever.”
September 29, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Participating in #TGFBI is fun because like 2 days back when I was like “I was just knocked out of 1st by some guy named Bret Sayre? Who the heck does this guy think he is?”
And then I look him up and I’m like “Oh, apparently he’s the President and CEO of Baseball Prospectus. Whatever.”
And then I look him up and I’m like “Oh, apparently he’s the President and CEO of Baseball Prospectus. Whatever.”
At the end of Nadav’s play date with his friend, Noam’s mom said they have to go to visit Noam’s grandma. Nadav followed them & said “I’m coming too”.
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
September 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
At the end of Nadav’s play date with his friend, Noam’s mom said they have to go to visit Noam’s grandma. Nadav followed them & said “I’m coming too”.
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
ONE. NIGHT. AWAY. The Azrieli Center Amphitheater in the heart of Tel Aviv is expecting to sell out, which is where I’ll be performing (not in this storage closet)
September 3, 2025 at 2:28 PM
ONE. NIGHT. AWAY. The Azrieli Center Amphitheater in the heart of Tel Aviv is expecting to sell out, which is where I’ll be performing (not in this storage closet)
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
note how Trump on a daily basis is trying to normalize the idea that he's a dictator
Trump: "The line is that I'm a dictator, but I stop crime. So a lot of people say, 'You know, if that's the case, I'd rather have a dictator.'"
August 26, 2025 at 4:44 PM
note how Trump on a daily basis is trying to normalize the idea that he's a dictator
I entered a best ball double-up where the top 6/12 teams get double their money regardless of place.
I’m currently in 1st. And it’s infuriating
I’m currently in 1st. And it’s infuriating
August 26, 2025 at 7:58 AM
I entered a best ball double-up where the top 6/12 teams get double their money regardless of place.
I’m currently in 1st. And it’s infuriating
I’m currently in 1st. And it’s infuriating
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
There are more current MLB players named Braxton (1) than there are named Brian (0)
August 15, 2025 at 4:07 PM
There are more current MLB players named Braxton (1) than there are named Brian (0)
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
In America, we don’t use federal agents to intimidate citizens out of participating in their own democracy. Yet more than a dozen Border Patrol agents showed up Thursday in downtown LA at a rally Gov. Gavin Newsom held on congressional redistricting an event that had nothing to do with immigration.
August 15, 2025 at 1:05 PM
In America, we don’t use federal agents to intimidate citizens out of participating in their own democracy. Yet more than a dozen Border Patrol agents showed up Thursday in downtown LA at a rally Gov. Gavin Newsom held on congressional redistricting an event that had nothing to do with immigration.
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
Tomorrow isn’t just another day it’s our chance to speak out and prove we won’t be silenced. ✊ If you’ve ever thought, “someone needs to do something,” tomorrow is your moment.
August 16, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Tomorrow isn’t just another day it’s our chance to speak out and prove we won’t be silenced. ✊ If you’ve ever thought, “someone needs to do something,” tomorrow is your moment.
The rock hit “Remedy” by Seether really put the topic of erosion on the map.
It was quite groundbreaking
It was quite groundbreaking
August 11, 2025 at 6:05 PM
The rock hit “Remedy” by Seether really put the topic of erosion on the map.
It was quite groundbreaking
It was quite groundbreaking
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
So, no national guard on January 6th, but definitely on August 11th. Makes total sense.
August 11, 2025 at 4:21 PM
So, no national guard on January 6th, but definitely on August 11th. Makes total sense.
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
First it was troops in L.A., sent to provoke and assault peaceful protesters under the banner of “immigration enforcement.” Now it’s troops in our capital to disappear the homeless. See the pattern? Sooner or later, the monster comes for us all.
August 11, 2025 at 2:27 PM
First it was troops in L.A., sent to provoke and assault peaceful protesters under the banner of “immigration enforcement.” Now it’s troops in our capital to disappear the homeless. See the pattern? Sooner or later, the monster comes for us all.
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
we're gone from "we're not cutting Medicaid" to "if you lose Medicaid you deserve it"
Johnson: "The Urban League that came out with their study that said 100k+ people are gonna lose Medicaid bc of the work requirements? That means they're choosing to not work... if somebody drops out of the program bc they're unwilling to do that, they did not deserve to be on that program."
July 30, 2025 at 9:43 PM
we're gone from "we're not cutting Medicaid" to "if you lose Medicaid you deserve it"
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
Let them eat cake.
July 31, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Let them eat cake.
In a single game, Yandy, Chandler and Aranda all got hurt.
A terrible day for Rays hitters with “and” in their name.
Stay strong ArandaYandaChandla 💪
A terrible day for Rays hitters with “and” in their name.
Stay strong ArandaYandaChandla 💪
July 31, 2025 at 9:23 PM
In a single game, Yandy, Chandler and Aranda all got hurt.
A terrible day for Rays hitters with “and” in their name.
Stay strong ArandaYandaChandla 💪
A terrible day for Rays hitters with “and” in their name.
Stay strong ArandaYandaChandla 💪
I used to be all Boom Shakalaka and now I’m more like Boom MatchaLatte
July 26, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I used to be all Boom Shakalaka and now I’m more like Boom MatchaLatte
14 years ago, I joined some Rutgers grads and jumped off a 30-foot high abandoned railroad bridge (into a river) to conquer my fear of heights. I took a risk, but I was okay and my life forever changed.
From then on, I realized that taking risks in life is a dumb idea and I never took one again.
From then on, I realized that taking risks in life is a dumb idea and I never took one again.
July 25, 2025 at 7:15 PM
14 years ago, I joined some Rutgers grads and jumped off a 30-foot high abandoned railroad bridge (into a river) to conquer my fear of heights. I took a risk, but I was okay and my life forever changed.
From then on, I realized that taking risks in life is a dumb idea and I never took one again.
From then on, I realized that taking risks in life is a dumb idea and I never took one again.
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
I’m so smart to avoid news all day u til time to go to bed and then check and be filled of irreparable despair and hopelessness for America and then go dream about it and then repeat the process every single day
July 15, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I’m so smart to avoid news all day u til time to go to bed and then check and be filled of irreparable despair and hopelessness for America and then go dream about it and then repeat the process every single day
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
REPORTER: Will you commit to include California in any disaster aid package?
MIKE JOHNSON: We've not seen the formal disaster relief request from California yet
REPORTER: The formal request was sent to your office in February
July 15, 2025 at 3:13 PM
REPORTER: Will you commit to include California in any disaster aid package?
MIKE JOHNSON: We've not seen the formal disaster relief request from California yet
REPORTER: The formal request was sent to your office in February
Reposted by Turbo Sloth
It used to be a crime to teach slaves to read. When they're trying to keep people down, they don't want them educated, hence, closing the Department of Education.
July 14, 2025 at 9:07 PM
It used to be a crime to teach slaves to read. When they're trying to keep people down, they don't want them educated, hence, closing the Department of Education.