Turbo Sloth
@benpernick.bsky.social
Jokes, puns, sloths, comedy songs, pizza
At the end of Nadav’s play date with his friend, Noam’s mom said they have to go to visit Noam’s grandma. Nadav followed them & said “I’m coming too”.
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
September 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
At the end of Nadav’s play date with his friend, Noam’s mom said they have to go to visit Noam’s grandma. Nadav followed them & said “I’m coming too”.
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
Noam’s mom said “Sorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied “That’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🤣
ONE. NIGHT. AWAY. The Azrieli Center Amphitheater in the heart of Tel Aviv is expecting to sell out, which is where I’ll be performing (not in this storage closet)
September 3, 2025 at 2:28 PM
ONE. NIGHT. AWAY. The Azrieli Center Amphitheater in the heart of Tel Aviv is expecting to sell out, which is where I’ll be performing (not in this storage closet)
BANDMATE: Hey did you listen to the recording?
ME: Yes, I learned all the sax lines and even the solo by heart!
BANDMATE: Great, now just play all of that transposed down by three steps.
ME: ಠ_ಠ
ME: Yes, I learned all the sax lines and even the solo by heart!
BANDMATE: Great, now just play all of that transposed down by three steps.
ME: ಠ_ಠ
July 5, 2025 at 3:18 PM
BANDMATE: Hey did you listen to the recording?
ME: Yes, I learned all the sax lines and even the solo by heart!
BANDMATE: Great, now just play all of that transposed down by three steps.
ME: ಠ_ಠ
ME: Yes, I learned all the sax lines and even the solo by heart!
BANDMATE: Great, now just play all of that transposed down by three steps.
ME: ಠ_ಠ
This extremely contrived pun may get me deported to the US
June 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM
This extremely contrived pun may get me deported to the US
Nice Shavuot festival but I’d never survive on a farm, tractors are too loud 😬
June 2, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Nice Shavuot festival but I’d never survive on a farm, tractors are too loud 😬
I’ll be hosting this show tomorrow (and my voice is hoarse af YAY)
March 11, 2025 at 12:17 PM
I’ll be hosting this show tomorrow (and my voice is hoarse af YAY)
I was trying to be Phoebe from FRIENDS while opening my set last night with Smelly Cat but ended up looking more like Temu Kat Cobain
February 27, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I was trying to be Phoebe from FRIENDS while opening my set last night with Smelly Cat but ended up looking more like Temu Kat Cobain
Tonight! Gonna be litt
February 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Tonight! Gonna be litt
Make America Greyed Again
February 2, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Make America Greyed Again
Praying for all families & friends of victims of the Trump Firing Aviation Safety Heads Immediate Consequence Plane Crash of 2025 🙏
January 30, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Praying for all families & friends of victims of the Trump Firing Aviation Safety Heads Immediate Consequence Plane Crash of 2025 🙏
Who let the cat into the bag
January 30, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Who let the cat into the bag
Blows my mind that “progressives” can see these as “freedom fighters” when they literally held not only Israelis but their own Gazan citizens hostage
January 25, 2025 at 11:09 AM
Blows my mind that “progressives” can see these as “freedom fighters” when they literally held not only Israelis but their own Gazan citizens hostage
One week from now:
TikTok is happy to announce that President Trump, who has always been pro-TikTok, has made an executive order to save the app.
The new algorithm will now favor pro-Trump content, and any accounts criticizing his administration will face demonetization and bans. Happy TikToking!
TikTok is happy to announce that President Trump, who has always been pro-TikTok, has made an executive order to save the app.
The new algorithm will now favor pro-Trump content, and any accounts criticizing his administration will face demonetization and bans. Happy TikToking!
January 19, 2025 at 9:43 AM
One week from now:
TikTok is happy to announce that President Trump, who has always been pro-TikTok, has made an executive order to save the app.
The new algorithm will now favor pro-Trump content, and any accounts criticizing his administration will face demonetization and bans. Happy TikToking!
TikTok is happy to announce that President Trump, who has always been pro-TikTok, has made an executive order to save the app.
The new algorithm will now favor pro-Trump content, and any accounts criticizing his administration will face demonetization and bans. Happy TikToking!
Raising a bilingual kid is fun because he has a different response for each parent.
Like, when Nadav sees Hilla he says “bakbuk” and when he sees me he says “bottle”. And when Hilla tells him a joke he says “Khakhakha!” and when I tell him a joke he says “Boooooo”
Like, when Nadav sees Hilla he says “bakbuk” and when he sees me he says “bottle”. And when Hilla tells him a joke he says “Khakhakha!” and when I tell him a joke he says “Boooooo”
January 11, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Raising a bilingual kid is fun because he has a different response for each parent.
Like, when Nadav sees Hilla he says “bakbuk” and when he sees me he says “bottle”. And when Hilla tells him a joke he says “Khakhakha!” and when I tell him a joke he says “Boooooo”
Like, when Nadav sees Hilla he says “bakbuk” and when he sees me he says “bottle”. And when Hilla tells him a joke he says “Khakhakha!” and when I tell him a joke he says “Boooooo”
Israel apparently has been deploying tactical bimbas 🏍️
December 14, 2024 at 11:38 AM
Israel apparently has been deploying tactical bimbas 🏍️
Just had a wonderful Shabbat dinner, now enjoying this wine that’s totally not relevant to anything 😇
December 13, 2024 at 6:56 PM
Just had a wonderful Shabbat dinner, now enjoying this wine that’s totally not relevant to anything 😇
I was so sleep deprived, I sat down on a park bench and instantly drifted off to sleep. I dreamt I was in bed and petting Tookie in my lap.
Then I awoke to see a half hour went by, and in my lap, I had been stroking the head of a stray cat 😳
Then I awoke to see a half hour went by, and in my lap, I had been stroking the head of a stray cat 😳
December 7, 2024 at 2:05 PM
I was so sleep deprived, I sat down on a park bench and instantly drifted off to sleep. I dreamt I was in bed and petting Tookie in my lap.
Then I awoke to see a half hour went by, and in my lap, I had been stroking the head of a stray cat 😳
Then I awoke to see a half hour went by, and in my lap, I had been stroking the head of a stray cat 😳
I thought from this headline the news was about a different crisis 👰♀️🤵
December 3, 2024 at 8:43 PM
I thought from this headline the news was about a different crisis 👰♀️🤵
I guess South Korea got tired of having too many singles
December 3, 2024 at 8:41 PM
I guess South Korea got tired of having too many singles
They grow up so fast! Yesterday I was changing his diapers, today he joined a gang… and then I changed his diaper.
November 26, 2024 at 8:46 PM
They grow up so fast! Yesterday I was changing his diapers, today he joined a gang… and then I changed his diaper.
Not as sexy as an “I VOTED” sticker, but voting from Israel (DEMOCRAT down the ballot of course) wasn’t easy, and cost me $15 I could’ve spent on pizza 🍕… So I’m proud of myself for going through with it! #ivoted
November 2, 2024 at 8:28 PM
Not as sexy as an “I VOTED” sticker, but voting from Israel (DEMOCRAT down the ballot of course) wasn’t easy, and cost me $15 I could’ve spent on pizza 🍕… So I’m proud of myself for going through with it! #ivoted