llama
alffansofficial.bsky.social
llama
@alffansofficial.bsky.social
I'm shaved, I'm ready. For battle.
didn't look down when I was opening the door and accidentally sent some volus guy flying down the hallway
February 2, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Reposted by llama
take a long suck off a short dick
January 5, 2026 at 6:05 PM
strong anecdotal evidence that being on x the everything app causes severe brain damage
February 1, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Reposted by llama
By their own numbers, almost 50% of what Bluesky moderation gets up to is just manually labeling replies as rude. 👍
January 30, 2026 at 3:34 PM
you know how the French made fun of the English as a nation of shopkeepers? The US is a nation of scammers
Trump’s fundraisers are now using the threat of dispatching ICE against citizens as an email engagement tactic.
January 28, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Reposted by llama
A decade ago I used to do 'the lunch awards' every day, folk would tweet me photos of their work lunch and I'd fairly arbitrarily choose a winner.

Then I did an Xmas special, let folk spend all day waiting then declared them all winners and ruined everyone's evening. The Xmas Lunch Awards Massacre.
November 13, 2024 at 12:02 AM
Christmas elves are short but fantasy elves are tall. what's up with that?
January 27, 2026 at 3:42 AM
hup
January 26, 2026 at 8:44 PM
was reading a paper today and laughed when i saw that the measurement precision has only improved by a factor of 3 in 50 years. take your time guys! journals.aps.org/prl/abstract...
January 24, 2026 at 11:39 PM
alright that's it. im finally donating to wikipedia
January 24, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Reposted by llama
(wizard in chambers who has been farting a lot and hears a knock at the door): Enter not! I have been summoning the winds of the Foul Swamp
January 23, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Reposted by llama
America is on the brink. Canada is on the rink. #AlwaysFresh #TimHortin
November 15, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Reposted by llama
We have a goalie fight!
Sergei Bobrovsky skates all the way down to challenge Alex Nedeljkovic (h/t @msmambo.bsky.social)
January 20, 2026 at 1:17 AM
it's crazy that there's isopod species spanning from the deep ocean to arid deserts while still looking basically the same. this is a message against fast fashion trend chasing. find a look that is truly timeless and for all locations, like the isopod body plan
January 18, 2026 at 4:31 PM
ancient historic case of "girl dump him"
January 18, 2026 at 4:07 PM
remembered dilbert's concerningly young ex-wife, who appears to have an interesting relationship to flight safety
January 13, 2026 at 7:27 PM
wwhy shrek is piss. why shrek is piss #italiano
January 13, 2026 at 3:47 PM
it's so weird that people still make mashup songs after the wave of girl talk etc but now they only ever get used as the soundtrack for shortform videos. and they're all the worst thing you've ever heard
January 13, 2026 at 3:27 PM
January 12, 2026 at 7:27 PM
Reposted by llama
"If that's not a highlight reel goal I don't know what is"
Minnesota's Abbey Murphy beats her defender with a lacrosse move, then slides it over for Bella Fanale to score
January 11, 2026 at 5:34 PM
the fine-tuning argument about fundamental constants has always pissed me off. "if the universe was different life couldnt exist" ok and if red was blue then it wouldn't be red. but it isn't blue, it's red
January 8, 2026 at 10:42 PM
ive run an N=1 study on the effects of going back to the gym after 3 weeks off and not decreasing weight or volume lifted. on day two one anonymous participant reported "oof ow ah fuck god damn how does just walking hurt this much"
January 8, 2026 at 10:30 PM
you kinda know it abstractly but looking at the numbers and seeing "America accounts for 37% of all military spending on earth" is still crazy
January 4, 2026 at 7:55 PM
here's your assigned reading list for the day. i want all those links purple by 11:59
January 1, 2026 at 7:58 PM
snowey
December 31, 2025 at 1:02 AM