Ahab Apologist
@ahabapologist.bsky.social
Except for the whole whale thing, Ahab did nothing wrong.
DNI: 🐳
🗣️: 🇺🇸🇩🇪🇺🇦
DNI: 🐳
🗣️: 🇺🇸🇩🇪🇺🇦
Pinned
Ahab Apologist
@ahabapologist.bsky.social
· Jun 17
До речі шукаю людей з якими можна практикувати українську мову.
Моя дружина ненавидить те, як у мене так багато питань 🥺
Моя дружина ненавидить те, як у мене так багато питань 🥺
@bobworldbuilder.bsky.social do you have a meet and greet today? I couldn't find it on the schedule
November 22, 2025 at 3:03 PM
@bobworldbuilder.bsky.social do you have a meet and greet today? I couldn't find it on the schedule
*whispers* I don't like Pluribus
November 22, 2025 at 5:23 AM
*whispers* I don't like Pluribus
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
mtg spent like ten years making enemies on the left and that seemed fine with her. she spent ten days making enemies on the right, had to hire security, and then had to quit altogether.
November 22, 2025 at 4:19 AM
mtg spent like ten years making enemies on the left and that seemed fine with her. she spent ten days making enemies on the right, had to hire security, and then had to quit altogether.
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
Explaining to my wife that I was about to change the laundry when I was jumped by these dudes that scarified a Blastoise on my shoulder.
Anyway, the laundry in the washer kinda stinks, and I've misplaced $500.
Anyway, the laundry in the washer kinda stinks, and I've misplaced $500.
A staffer to a New Jersey congressman allegedly paid an scarification artist $500 to wound her as she staged a scene with zip ties and “Trump Whore” written on her stomach, federal prosecutors say
Ex-Van Drew staffer staged fake attack, writing 'Trump Whore' across her stomach and alleging men held her down and cut her body - New Jersey Globe
A 26-year-old Ocean City woman who claimed she was brutally assaulted because she worked for Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-Ocean City) instead orchestrated the
newjerseyglobe.com
November 20, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Explaining to my wife that I was about to change the laundry when I was jumped by these dudes that scarified a Blastoise on my shoulder.
Anyway, the laundry in the washer kinda stinks, and I've misplaced $500.
Anyway, the laundry in the washer kinda stinks, and I've misplaced $500.
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
Sales of AI-enabled teddy bear suspended after it gave advice on BDSM sex and where to find knives
Sales of AI-enabled teddy bear suspended after it gave advice on BDSM sex and where to find knives | CNN Business
Sales of an artificial intelligence-enabled plush toy have been suspended after it was found that it engaged in conversation around sexually explicit topics and offered potentially dangerous advice.
www.cnn.com
November 20, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Sales of AI-enabled teddy bear suspended after it gave advice on BDSM sex and where to find knives
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.
You know shit's changing when we've reached "fuckin let me at em" levels of jury duty participation
i'll also say the bullshit happening in trump 2, with insane charges being brought for nothing at all, has radicalized how i view jury duty. before, it seemed like a major annoyance that would hinder my job and disrupt things. now im eagerly awaiting my chance to tell the govt to get fucked in court
November 19, 2025 at 7:50 PM
You know shit's changing when we've reached "fuckin let me at em" levels of jury duty participation
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
Can't I scroll in peace for five seconds
Someone found an mp3 of the creepy "Jailbait" song Olivia Nuzzi released when she was 16 🫣
November 19, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Can't I scroll in peace for five seconds
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
As Ukraine mourns innocent people murdered in their sleep by a russian terrorist missile, the media reports that the US Administration has shared with Ukraine a new, updated Capitulation Plan. No pressure on russia, just Ukraine cutting its own hands and legs. What a disgrace.
November 19, 2025 at 6:47 PM
As Ukraine mourns innocent people murdered in their sleep by a russian terrorist missile, the media reports that the US Administration has shared with Ukraine a new, updated Capitulation Plan. No pressure on russia, just Ukraine cutting its own hands and legs. What a disgrace.
Honestly, I prefer self-incriminating delay tactics to the alternative (destroying or altering incriminating evidence)
Massie's prediction that the Administration would use the bogus Trump-directed "investigations" of Bill Clinton and Reid Hoffman as an excuse to continue blocking release of the Epstein files, on the spurious grounds that it's an ongoing investigation, is looking pretty good here
November 19, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Honestly, I prefer self-incriminating delay tactics to the alternative (destroying or altering incriminating evidence)
Onions are GOATed. What a fucking plant. Three cheers for this guy
November 19, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Onions are GOATed. What a fucking plant. Three cheers for this guy
I don't want to live forever, just long enough to get caught up in shenanigans with my best friend, a raccoon
November 19, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I don't want to live forever, just long enough to get caught up in shenanigans with my best friend, a raccoon
Uh... lmao
MORE: Under questioning by the judge, prosecutor Tyler Lemons said that he’s under orders from the Deputy Attorney Generals’s office not to disclose whether there is a declination memo recommending against the prosecution of Comey
November 19, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Uh... lmao
I think "6 7" is the closest we've come to pure meme distillate, serving no purpose but to self-replicate
November 19, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I think "6 7" is the closest we've come to pure meme distillate, serving no purpose but to self-replicate
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
Johnson’s victims, according to a pair of arrest affidavits, were the child of his now ex-girlfriend and a friend of the first child.
Andrew Johnson — a Jan. 6 rioter who went by "Am🇺🇸rican T🇺🇸rrorist” on Elon Musk’s platform — has been arrested on child molestation charges, with police saying he used the promise of a taxpayer-funded payout from Trump's DOJ to try and keep one of the victims silent.
theintercept.com/2025/11/17/p...
theintercept.com/2025/11/17/p...
Pardoned Capitol Rioter Tried to Hush Child Sex Victim With Promise of Jan. 6 Reparation Money, Police Say
Pardoned Capitol rioter Andrew Johnson tried to keep a child sex abuse victim quiet with claimed $10 million Jan. 6 reparations, police say.
theintercept.com
November 18, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Johnson’s victims, according to a pair of arrest affidavits, were the child of his now ex-girlfriend and a friend of the first child.
I nuked a steak on the grill last night (it caught on fire). Had not even considered that possibility until it happened.
November 18, 2025 at 4:09 PM
I nuked a steak on the grill last night (it caught on fire). Had not even considered that possibility until it happened.
I feel like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure should be mandatory viewing for kids.
Not because it has any moral or ethical value---I just think kids should know that it's possible to wear weirdass shit, and their parents are keeping this from them.
Not because it has any moral or ethical value---I just think kids should know that it's possible to wear weirdass shit, and their parents are keeping this from them.
November 18, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I feel like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure should be mandatory viewing for kids.
Not because it has any moral or ethical value---I just think kids should know that it's possible to wear weirdass shit, and their parents are keeping this from them.
Not because it has any moral or ethical value---I just think kids should know that it's possible to wear weirdass shit, and their parents are keeping this from them.
Does Mike Johnson think God wants to spend eternity hanging out with a guy that runs interference for pedophiles
Mike Johnson: "Democrats are trying to use the Epstein matter as a political weapon to distract from their own party's failures. In a desperate attempt, they're trying to somehow tie President Trump to the scandal. President Trump has nothing to do with it. He said himself he has nothing to hide."
November 18, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Does Mike Johnson think God wants to spend eternity hanging out with a guy that runs interference for pedophiles
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
NEW: When Andrew Tate landed in the US, Customs & Border Protection seized his electronic devices. But @propublica.org found that a White House official told DHS to return the devices, emphasizing that the request came from the White House.
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
The White House Intervened on Behalf of Accused Sex Trafficker Andrew Tate During a Federal Investigation
Federal authorities were chided for seizing electronic devices from Tate and his brother, and told to return them, records and interviews show. Experts said the intervention was highly inappropriate.
www.propublica.org
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
Pausing a show so that I can compare this person's chin to Jim Carrey's when he puts on The Mask
November 18, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Pausing a show so that I can compare this person's chin to Jim Carrey's when he puts on The Mask
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
One of the strangest aspects of aging that they don't warn you about is watching as history gets rewritten right in front of your face and people 20 years younger than you confidently tell you about something you lived through and get it completely wrong.
November 17, 2025 at 10:11 PM
One of the strangest aspects of aging that they don't warn you about is watching as history gets rewritten right in front of your face and people 20 years younger than you confidently tell you about something you lived through and get it completely wrong.
Given how I gross I find Gavin Newsom now, this makes so much sense
November 18, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Given how I gross I find Gavin Newsom now, this makes so much sense
Reposted by Ahab Apologist
Nine-month-old AI company you've never heard of that revealed its first product last month wants to be valued as much as Ford
Sources: Mira Murati's Thinking Machines Lab is in talks with potential investors to raise about $5B and is aiming for a valuation of at least $50B (The Information)
Main Link | Techmeme Permalink
Main Link | Techmeme Permalink
November 18, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Nine-month-old AI company you've never heard of that revealed its first product last month wants to be valued as much as Ford