Flat Pumpkin Society
@adhdgobl.in
Clinical research, baseball (LFG Mariners), and booze nerd living in Philly. My views are not my own. They are yours. You have my views now. Sorry. (he/him)
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
You're at shitposting.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
You're at Method Acting
I need you at Taking Meth
I need you at Taking Meth
You’re at fries.
I need you at garlic truffle pommes frites.
I need you at garlic truffle pommes frites.
November 11, 2025 at 9:12 PM
You're at shitposting.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
Artist's recreation
November 11, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Artist's recreation
Double-0 Godzilla
m3gan: agent 007
November 11, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Double-0 Godzilla
"Something good" is raking in a boatload of Act Blue cash.
no matter what the circumstances, democrats are always saving their energy for a mythical future situation where they will do something good
November 10, 2025 at 5:24 AM
"Something good" is raking in a boatload of Act Blue cash.
I really love that one of the first indications Babylon 5 gives that the Earth government is becoming increasingly fascist is that it takes like 24 hours for them to send in the military to break up a labor strike.
November 9, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I really love that one of the first indications Babylon 5 gives that the Earth government is becoming increasingly fascist is that it takes like 24 hours for them to send in the military to break up a labor strike.
"Shit, why didn't I think of that?"
-the sculptor
-the sculptor
November 9, 2025 at 1:23 PM
"Shit, why didn't I think of that?"
-the sculptor
-the sculptor
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
literally the only thing these guys are good at is convincing tech-illiterate boomer politicians that their highly specialized tech company with no competitors is absolutely essential to the advancement of the human race, that is their only talent
November 7, 2025 at 2:25 PM
literally the only thing these guys are good at is convincing tech-illiterate boomer politicians that their highly specialized tech company with no competitors is absolutely essential to the advancement of the human race, that is their only talent
Hell yeah, the average American is going to lose 397 pounds by this time next year.
Oz: We thought it was 125 million pounds. Our estimate is Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms
November 6, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Hell yeah, the average American is going to lose 397 pounds by this time next year.
I am going to figure out why it's always windiest on trash collection day, and they will give me the Nobel Prize in Meteorology for it.
November 6, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I am going to figure out why it's always windiest on trash collection day, and they will give me the Nobel Prize in Meteorology for it.
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
libbing out is like gooning
November 5, 2025 at 10:50 PM
libbing out is like gooning
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
french queer eye is called Homme Improvement
November 4, 2025 at 10:42 PM
french queer eye is called Homme Improvement
You're laughing. This guy is going to get the Come and See thousand yard stare every time he passes a Jersey Mike's and you're laughing.
Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
November 4, 2025 at 6:32 PM
You're laughing. This guy is going to get the Come and See thousand yard stare every time he passes a Jersey Mike's and you're laughing.
I SPIL MY JICE PRESIDENT TRUMP HELP HELP HELP HEP HELP HELP
November 3, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I SPIL MY JICE PRESIDENT TRUMP HELP HELP HELP HEP HELP HELP
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)
November 2, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
WELCOME TO HELL IDIOTS, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR KEEPING US OUT OF THE WORLD SERIES
October 28, 2025 at 5:17 AM
WELCOME TO HELL IDIOTS, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR KEEPING US OUT OF THE WORLD SERIES
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you
November 2, 2025 at 3:21 AM
give us 20 innings this time. make this a root canal. i'll be watching. fuck god and fuck you
It is 2:30 PM on 02 November. Game 7 of the World Series has gone to the 84th inning. All pitchers and position players have pitched and the game cannot continue. The series is called a draw and the Seattle Mariners are crowned world champions.
November 2, 2025 at 3:22 AM
It is 2:30 PM on 02 November. Game 7 of the World Series has gone to the 84th inning. All pitchers and position players have pitched and the game cannot continue. The series is called a draw and the Seattle Mariners are crowned world champions.
This guy didn't even buy a ticket for the game. He just showed up at the gate, said "SEAT" and they put him behind home plate.
November 2, 2025 at 1:32 AM
This guy didn't even buy a ticket for the game. He just showed up at the gate, said "SEAT" and they put him behind home plate.
"Stuff keeps on happening while we're talking to these managers."
YEAH BUDDY IT SURE FUCKING DOES MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.
YEAH BUDDY IT SURE FUCKING DOES MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.
November 2, 2025 at 1:25 AM
"Stuff keeps on happening while we're talking to these managers."
YEAH BUDDY IT SURE FUCKING DOES MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.
YEAH BUDDY IT SURE FUCKING DOES MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.
Proof that MLB writers have rigged the season. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
As it became clear during NBA Finals Game 6 there would be a Game 7, I texted @JeffPassan saying I hoped we’d get a World Series Game 7
4.5 months later, here we are! Baseball is the best
4.5 months later, here we are! Baseball is the best
November 1, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Proof that MLB writers have rigged the season. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
I've had this idiot for eleven years today. She's going to be SO spoiled by the end of the day
November 1, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I've had this idiot for eleven years today. She's going to be SO spoiled by the end of the day
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
I don’t know how GBBO is gonna top this but I’m sure it will
November 1, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I don’t know how GBBO is gonna top this but I’m sure it will
I owe my grandma an apology. I understand the draw of soap operas now.
Going on BetMGM and wagering that JD runs for president in 2028 with Erika as his wife
October 31, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I owe my grandma an apology. I understand the draw of soap operas now.