Flat Pumpkin Society
@adhdgobl.in
Clinical research, baseball (LFG Mariners), and booze nerd living in Philly. My views are not my own. They are yours. You have my views now. Sorry. (he/him)
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
I can get an early 80s VCR up my ass, call me a Beta male.
November 12, 2025 at 4:54 AM
I can get an early 80s VCR up my ass, call me a Beta male.
Did anyone think they were going to trade him before he hits arbitration?
November 12, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Did anyone think they were going to trade him before he hits arbitration?
Yes, do NOT turn Ted Cruz into orange marmalade. It will not have the desired effect.
November 11, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Yes, do NOT turn Ted Cruz into orange marmalade. It will not have the desired effect.
Also, once you've spent a lot of time with a therapist, it can start to look way more like regular conversation than early sessions did. It's not necessarily "off subject" just because the therapist isn't asking you questions about your shitty mom and saying "Hmm, and how does that make you feel?"
November 11, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Also, once you've spent a lot of time with a therapist, it can start to look way more like regular conversation than early sessions did. It's not necessarily "off subject" just because the therapist isn't asking you questions about your shitty mom and saying "Hmm, and how does that make you feel?"
Autolycus would represent himself and win, but somehow result in Gabrielle getting put in jail.
November 11, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Autolycus would represent himself and win, but somehow result in Gabrielle getting put in jail.
Your honor, I OBJECT.
November 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Your honor, I OBJECT.
Remember, all tests should be in a fasting state. Don't eat any brains for 24 hours prior to the appointment.
November 11, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Remember, all tests should be in a fasting state. Don't eat any brains for 24 hours prior to the appointment.
If the mattress is on the floor, then you don't have to dust under the bed.
November 11, 2025 at 6:36 PM
If the mattress is on the floor, then you don't have to dust under the bed.
brb, putting my entire 401(k) into companies that manufacture hormones.
November 11, 2025 at 6:34 PM
brb, putting my entire 401(k) into companies that manufacture hormones.
Damn, the bone misidentification industry is fucked.
November 11, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Damn, the bone misidentification industry is fucked.
Are you sure? I checked the calendar and there's no time blocked out for shitting until next Monday.
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Are you sure? I checked the calendar and there's no time blocked out for shitting until next Monday.
You just KNOW the dumbest asshole in the room was patting himself on the back for coming up with that title, too.
November 11, 2025 at 4:49 PM
You just KNOW the dumbest asshole in the room was patting himself on the back for coming up with that title, too.
What about dumbass strawman arguments of my own, though? Can I still post those?
November 11, 2025 at 3:05 PM
What about dumbass strawman arguments of my own, though? Can I still post those?
I used to work for a psychiatrist. He had half a day every week blocked out to do nothing but argue with insurers about prior auths. 10% of every work week where he couldn't treat patients because he had to yell at non-doctors until they allow his patients to get the drugs that he said they need.
November 11, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I used to work for a psychiatrist. He had half a day every week blocked out to do nothing but argue with insurers about prior auths. 10% of every work week where he couldn't treat patients because he had to yell at non-doctors until they allow his patients to get the drugs that he said they need.
"The professional pearl clutchers at the incredibly exaggerated One Million Moms" is a hell of a line.
November 11, 2025 at 1:06 AM
"The professional pearl clutchers at the incredibly exaggerated One Million Moms" is a hell of a line.
ADORABLE LITTLE TANK FRIEND.
November 11, 2025 at 12:19 AM
ADORABLE LITTLE TANK FRIEND.
There should be pennelties for that kind of pun.
November 11, 2025 at 12:12 AM
There should be pennelties for that kind of pun.
I figured it out. It was a typo and you meant to say duck packet.
November 10, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I figured it out. It was a typo and you meant to say duck packet.
Let me guess, it was like twenty bucks and tasted like sawdust.
November 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Let me guess, it was like twenty bucks and tasted like sawdust.
I'm terrible at math and I have a bunch of dumbass opinions, why is no one paying me for this?
November 10, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I'm terrible at math and I have a bunch of dumbass opinions, why is no one paying me for this?
Oh shit, someone finally deleted Ohio?
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Oh shit, someone finally deleted Ohio?