Forrest Gump making a speech in front of the board of directors at Apple in 1997 - 'i think jobs is a good thing, folks is always happier when they've got jobs'

those of us who were born in 1982 grew up in a unique time and have had some really interesting life experiences, but what really makes me laugh is when people born before or after 1982 claim that they’ve also had life experiences. get serious. no you haven’t

"Chicago Pope" is like a 1994 SNL sketch. Airs at 12:20am, the only gag is that Chris Farley has a mustache and is doing a big accent. David Spade and the guest host (Joe Mantegna) keep breaking during it.

thinking about when siskel and ebert were dicking off and riffing in-between takes and decided to roast the shit out of the protestants

Leonardo Da Vinci is a classic example of a polymath - the Stellan Skarsgard character from Good Will Hunting is a classic example of a monomath

The definition of a save should be expanded to include the Times you're able to mute the TV or radio before the "Cars for Kids" jingle plays.

I love further ado. Give me a longer setup. Waste my time.

When you're on your way home and need just one more thing