T%lejt
toolejt.bsky.social
T%lejt
@toolejt.bsky.social
Bonnies, Jets, Senators, Buccos, Riverhounds. Owner of immeasurable hope.
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“Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump
Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers
WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effect...
theonion.com
December 3, 2025 at 12:30 AM
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If you missed this one, you need to give it a look! Support our silly work by reading our silly, 3K-plus word diatribes about making better MTEs.
December 1, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Go Hounds
November 22, 2025 at 4:59 PM
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"Scared of Charlotte" is a whole new level of "scared of cities" that I'd never even considered possible
Rep. Pat Harrigan: "I have asked Josh Stein, our governor, to consider working with President Trump to allow the National Guard to come into Charlotte ... use the National Guard as a force multiplier and they can a lot of load off the Charlotte PD."
November 11, 2025 at 2:44 PM
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October 26, 2025 at 11:45 PM
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October 26, 2025 at 11:52 PM
These Steelers jerseys are wow... Make the ny titans jerseys look amazing
October 26, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Good for Justin. Let's get rid of Woody Johnson. (And Bob Nutting)
October 26, 2025 at 8:29 PM
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You know what? Hell yeah Justin
October 26, 2025 at 8:06 PM
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BREAKING: THE NEW YORK JETS WON A FOOTBALL GAME.
October 26, 2025 at 8:10 PM
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Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through
October 18, 2025 at 9:31 PM
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The St. Bonaventure Bonnies are entering the 2025-2026 season with a near entirely new roster.

Mark Schmidt and his staff have brought in loads of talent from the JUCO, Division II, and international ranks.

Dive into their roster below! 👇

open.substack.com/pub/bracketb...
St. Bonaventure Bonnies Reload for 2025-2026
The St. Bonaventure Bonnies are embracing college basketball, building a new roster this season. Can the Bonnies' new look bring them to the top of the Atlantic 10?
open.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Thats gruesome for Tyreek
September 30, 2025 at 12:52 AM
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Office Adds Area For Lactating Mothers To Discreetly Pump Iron https://theonion.com/office-adds-area-for-lactating-mothers-to-discreetly-pump-iron/
September 25, 2025 at 5:00 PM
The last castle is a masterpiece.
Rest in peace, Robert Redford, AKA Roy Hobbs.
September 16, 2025 at 1:14 PM
We're back!
September 7, 2025 at 7:42 PM
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AOL To Discontinue Dial-Up Internet
theonion.com/aol-to-...
August 13, 2025 at 8:30 PM
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Bluesky when you make a joke
August 9, 2025 at 7:24 AM
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July 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
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It must feel amazing to launch a dinger out of Truist Park. Sending a rocket through the front window of a 300-seat Bonefish Grill in the adjacent mall, all the Vineyard Vines dudes in there are so scared at the sound that they instantly jump into their Sorcerer-size SUVs and drive 55 minutes home.
July 16, 2025 at 3:54 AM
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Once more with feeling
June 22, 2025 at 12:10 AM
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Wait he got a Sorento up to 100 mph
Ninth overall draft pick driving a 2023 Kia Sorento!
June 19, 2025 at 9:35 PM