Mike
@thesweatycretin.bsky.social
I once shat myself at a friend's house and flushed my underpants down his toilet.
Ey up bollock chops, what's new?
November 18, 2023 at 5:44 PM
Ey up bollock chops, what's new?
Search drinks in your camera roll.
October 6, 2023 at 11:30 AM
Search drinks in your camera roll.
What’s a random quote from The Simpsons that pops into your head all the time?
October 5, 2023 at 7:47 PM
What’s a random quote from The Simpsons that pops into your head all the time?
That's as good as it gets people.
October 5, 2023 at 7:10 PM
That's as good as it gets people.
Cyberpunk, onsie and piehole.
Plan on doing something productive? Don't do that! Look up which words were "born" the same year as you! www.merriam-webster.com/time-traveler
October 5, 2023 at 7:50 AM
Cyberpunk, onsie and piehole.
And that's my creativity money shot spent for the day.
October 5, 2023 at 5:48 AM
And that's my creativity money shot spent for the day.
To the tune of a popular Guns and Roses song:
"Welcome to the Autumn,
Covid in your face,
Tory Conference in the news;
Transphobic disgrace"
"Welcome to the Autumn,
Covid in your face,
Tory Conference in the news;
Transphobic disgrace"
October 5, 2023 at 5:47 AM
To the tune of a popular Guns and Roses song:
"Welcome to the Autumn,
Covid in your face,
Tory Conference in the news;
Transphobic disgrace"
"Welcome to the Autumn,
Covid in your face,
Tory Conference in the news;
Transphobic disgrace"
Introduce yourself with a few jobs you've never had including what you don't do now.
1. Chase and Dave's hatstand
2. Personal Media Executive for Ed the Duck
3. Penguin Cage Fighter
Currently not working as a Rebecca Loos pig wanking tribute act.
1. Chase and Dave's hatstand
2. Personal Media Executive for Ed the Duck
3. Penguin Cage Fighter
Currently not working as a Rebecca Loos pig wanking tribute act.
Introduce yourself with a few jobs you've never had including what you don't do now.
Dawn French's stunt double,
Bjorks speaking voice
Or rocket scientist.
I definitely don't put the little puff of air into bubble wrap 🤷♀️
Dawn French's stunt double,
Bjorks speaking voice
Or rocket scientist.
I definitely don't put the little puff of air into bubble wrap 🤷♀️
September 24, 2023 at 5:03 PM
Introduce yourself with a few jobs you've never had including what you don't do now.
1. Chase and Dave's hatstand
2. Personal Media Executive for Ed the Duck
3. Penguin Cage Fighter
Currently not working as a Rebecca Loos pig wanking tribute act.
1. Chase and Dave's hatstand
2. Personal Media Executive for Ed the Duck
3. Penguin Cage Fighter
Currently not working as a Rebecca Loos pig wanking tribute act.
Apologies for anyone expecting consistent posting. I have immensely neurotic fits and starts with social media. Usually driven by how pissed I am or if I've forgotten to take my medication.
September 24, 2023 at 4:55 PM
Apologies for anyone expecting consistent posting. I have immensely neurotic fits and starts with social media. Usually driven by how pissed I am or if I've forgotten to take my medication.
I'm not proud of myself for doing this.
September 24, 2023 at 4:53 PM
I'm not proud of myself for doing this.
1. Powerful Todger
2. Demented Spaniel Bowel Movement
3. Shit
4. The Art of Aggressive Farting
5. I like that, do it again
2. Demented Spaniel Bowel Movement
3. Shit
4. The Art of Aggressive Farting
5. I like that, do it again
Favourite Yoga poses
1) Cobra
2) Half spanner
3) Renegade gerbil
4) Not now Edmonds
5) Flange
1) Cobra
2) Half spanner
3) Renegade gerbil
4) Not now Edmonds
5) Flange
September 24, 2023 at 4:52 PM
1. Powerful Todger
2. Demented Spaniel Bowel Movement
3. Shit
4. The Art of Aggressive Farting
5. I like that, do it again
2. Demented Spaniel Bowel Movement
3. Shit
4. The Art of Aggressive Farting
5. I like that, do it again
I'd just like to clarify that none of my gay friends would be seen dead wearing that clothing.
September 23, 2023 at 10:05 AM
I'd just like to clarify that none of my gay friends would be seen dead wearing that clothing.
So I got asked if I was gay this morning in Tesco by some Prime swigging, bollock clutching member of the TOPBANTZ™ crew, "coz you iz dressed like one".
September 23, 2023 at 10:04 AM
So I got asked if I was gay this morning in Tesco by some Prime swigging, bollock clutching member of the TOPBANTZ™ crew, "coz you iz dressed like one".
So, I took some time off from the socials.
Anyway here's a pillow fort I made for my cat.
Anyway here's a pillow fort I made for my cat.
September 17, 2023 at 7:10 PM
So, I took some time off from the socials.
Anyway here's a pillow fort I made for my cat.
Anyway here's a pillow fort I made for my cat.
Who the bloody hell asked me about cabbage?
September 3, 2023 at 9:49 PM
Who the bloody hell asked me about cabbage?
Trying this NGL thing. Either people will ask me stuff and I'll answer or I'll completely forget about it and no one will have asked anyway. ngl.link/thesweatycre...
September 3, 2023 at 9:42 PM
Trying this NGL thing. Either people will ask me stuff and I'll answer or I'll completely forget about it and no one will have asked anyway. ngl.link/thesweatycre...
If anyone wants to hear about a dream involving a lemon merangue pie and Sophie Ellis Bexter then hit me up.
Taurus: You will have "the craziest" dream tonight. Keep it to yourself. Nobody is interested.
September 3, 2023 at 6:13 PM
If anyone wants to hear about a dream involving a lemon merangue pie and Sophie Ellis Bexter then hit me up.