Balderdash
@balderdash.bsky.social
I placed my onions
on the floor,
under the window
by the door.
The layers of nuance
caught their eyes,
the day I won
The Turner Prize
on the floor,
under the window
by the door.
The layers of nuance
caught their eyes,
the day I won
The Turner Prize
Pinned
Balderdash
@balderdash.bsky.social
· Oct 11
12 year old daughter told me she has her first boyfriend “accidentally as we don’t really know each other.” I said ‘ha, just like me and your mother.’ No-one laughed. Atmosphere remains frosty at best.
#diary
#diary
Curling is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you get your brush out, polish your stones, wipe away all the detritus and aim for the bullseye. Bingo! Hammertime.
February 16, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Curling is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you get your brush out, polish your stones, wipe away all the detritus and aim for the bullseye. Bingo! Hammertime.
Reposted by Balderdash
Lots of worry and misery in the world but Australia lost in the cricket again so there's that.
February 16, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Lots of worry and misery in the world but Australia lost in the cricket again so there's that.
I find it so difficult to understand the stupidity involved with protesting a charity that saves lives.
There was a protest outside the RNLI today and I would post the 'there are dozens of us' meme but that would be to overstate the case somewhat
February 16, 2026 at 4:47 PM
I find it so difficult to understand the stupidity involved with protesting a charity that saves lives.
This is so bloody good, really unusual and barking mad. I’m going to go with Scooby Doo meets Twin Peaks directed by Wes Anderson.
February 15, 2026 at 9:28 PM
This is so bloody good, really unusual and barking mad. I’m going to go with Scooby Doo meets Twin Peaks directed by Wes Anderson.
Ooh - Curlyburly’s there for you headline writers.
February 15, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Ooh - Curlyburly’s there for you headline writers.
Compare what happens in your average football match with what Italy captain Michele Lamaro said about Hollie Davidson after Italy’s narrow defeat in Ireland yesterday. Both of them are heroes.
February 15, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Compare what happens in your average football match with what Italy captain Michele Lamaro said about Hollie Davidson after Italy’s narrow defeat in Ireland yesterday. Both of them are heroes.
One important aspect of football that rarely gets a mention is just how much diving, conning, appealing and cheating goes on during a game (look at the incident on the Juve/Inter game last night). It’s no wonder refs get things wrong when players are so habitually dishonest.
February 15, 2026 at 1:55 PM
One important aspect of football that rarely gets a mention is just how much diving, conning, appealing and cheating goes on during a game (look at the incident on the Juve/Inter game last night). It’s no wonder refs get things wrong when players are so habitually dishonest.
Amidst all of the controversy, that Digne handball in the Villa game highlighted exactly how VAR should be used. It would have taken one look (10 seconds) to see the clear & obvious mistake. It’s that simple. Instead we are subjected to over-officiating and five minute stoppages on a regular basis.
February 15, 2026 at 11:40 AM
Amidst all of the controversy, that Digne handball in the Villa game highlighted exactly how VAR should be used. It would have taken one look (10 seconds) to see the clear & obvious mistake. It’s that simple. Instead we are subjected to over-officiating and five minute stoppages on a regular basis.
Reposted by Balderdash
When you've necked your pill before going into the ground and it kicks in.
February 14, 2026 at 9:20 PM
When you've necked your pill before going into the ground and it kicks in.
Reposted by Balderdash
[flirting]
*you're
*you're
February 14, 2026 at 10:09 PM
[flirting]
*you're
*you're
Scotland more ruthless in attack and excellent in defence. Must be infuriating for their fans that they often perform like this v England but are so inconsistent.
February 14, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Scotland more ruthless in attack and excellent in defence. Must be infuriating for their fans that they often perform like this v England but are so inconsistent.
If this is the best shot they’ve published, imagine the state of the rejected pile.
February 14, 2026 at 5:56 PM
If this is the best shot they’ve published, imagine the state of the rejected pile.
Quite astonishing the difference in quality between the referees in the two internationals today. Hollie Davidson was brilliant - hardly noticed her but always in control. Not the case with Nika Amashukeli who seems to need to be at the forefront of everything.
February 14, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Quite astonishing the difference in quality between the referees in the two internationals today. Hollie Davidson was brilliant - hardly noticed her but always in control. Not the case with Nika Amashukeli who seems to need to be at the forefront of everything.
Reposted by Balderdash
Well, happy 13th birthday to this immaculately timed headline
February 14, 2026 at 10:49 AM
Well, happy 13th birthday to this immaculately timed headline
Love is Blind
Roses are rose
Violets are violet
I think you might have
Achromatopsia
Roses are rose
Violets are violet
I think you might have
Achromatopsia
February 14, 2026 at 9:47 AM
Love is Blind
Roses are rose
Violets are violet
I think you might have
Achromatopsia
Roses are rose
Violets are violet
I think you might have
Achromatopsia
I have eaten
the roses
and
the violets
and which
you were probably
looking forward to receiving
for Valentine’s Day
Forgive me
they were rank
and completely
inedible
the roses
and
the violets
and which
you were probably
looking forward to receiving
for Valentine’s Day
Forgive me
they were rank
and completely
inedible
February 14, 2026 at 9:29 AM
I have eaten
the roses
and
the violets
and which
you were probably
looking forward to receiving
for Valentine’s Day
Forgive me
they were rank
and completely
inedible
the roses
and
the violets
and which
you were probably
looking forward to receiving
for Valentine’s Day
Forgive me
they were rank
and completely
inedible
Scotland v England in the cricket and the rugby today. Lovely Valentine’s Day treat.
February 14, 2026 at 9:16 AM
Scotland v England in the cricket and the rugby today. Lovely Valentine’s Day treat.
Pretty bizarre choice really. This was the guy sacked by bottom of the table Wolves after getting 2 points from the first ten games.
February 13, 2026 at 8:29 PM
Pretty bizarre choice really. This was the guy sacked by bottom of the table Wolves after getting 2 points from the first ten games.
Spurs fans right now
February 13, 2026 at 6:01 PM
Spurs fans right now
Reposted by Balderdash
Bill Hader doing an impression of Oliver Reed explaining the difference between acting on stage & acting on film.
Love how he cracks Paul Giamatti up.
Love how he cracks Paul Giamatti up.
December 29, 2024 at 12:26 AM
Bill Hader doing an impression of Oliver Reed explaining the difference between acting on stage & acting on film.
Love how he cracks Paul Giamatti up.
Love how he cracks Paul Giamatti up.
Reposted by Balderdash
Ray Winstone sexting
Seriously though what the fuck are you wearing?
February 12, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Ray Winstone sexting
Construction of the statue of Jimmy Hill. Rio de Janeiro 1922-31.
February 12, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Construction of the statue of Jimmy Hill. Rio de Janeiro 1922-31.
Good choice. Hiring someone that he knew with Greek connections worked very well before.
Vitor Pereira is set to become the new Nottingham Forest manager. (Matteo Moretto)
February 12, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Good choice. Hiring someone that he knew with Greek connections worked very well before.