Pinned
JC
@tattoos-n-boots.bsky.social
· Nov 14
Old age got me walking like a baby deer for the first 5 steps after I get out of my chair
The number one thing I miss about being married is the tax returns. And not eating so much frozen pizza.
November 26, 2024 at 11:51 PM
The number one thing I miss about being married is the tax returns. And not eating so much frozen pizza.
Reposted by JC
it was when you looked and saw only one set of footprints in the sand that you realized jesus had some busted ass feet
November 24, 2024 at 1:51 AM
it was when you looked and saw only one set of footprints in the sand that you realized jesus had some busted ass feet
Reposted by JC
Either you die a hero or become some other type of sandwich.
November 17, 2024 at 7:03 AM
Either you die a hero or become some other type of sandwich.
Reposted by JC
beginning to think I may never inherit a chocolate factory
November 17, 2024 at 7:12 PM
beginning to think I may never inherit a chocolate factory
Orgasms so hard we accidentally make a horcrux.
November 17, 2024 at 9:17 PM
Orgasms so hard we accidentally make a horcrux.
Reposted by JC
🎶 Take me down to the paradox city where the grass is trees and the squirrels are kitties 🎶
November 16, 2024 at 12:38 PM
🎶 Take me down to the paradox city where the grass is trees and the squirrels are kitties 🎶
Reposted by JC
Dark humour is how I cope with
*gestures to everything and everyone*
*gestures to everything and everyone*
November 17, 2024 at 2:01 AM
Dark humour is how I cope with
*gestures to everything and everyone*
*gestures to everything and everyone*
If I die under mysterious circumstances the number one suspect should be my cat.
November 17, 2024 at 1:30 AM
If I die under mysterious circumstances the number one suspect should be my cat.
When I was a kid manually changing the channels and climbing up the side of the house to move the antenna by hand I never thought that one day I'd be able to push a button and pause a football game so i could poop.
November 16, 2024 at 11:27 PM
When I was a kid manually changing the channels and climbing up the side of the house to move the antenna by hand I never thought that one day I'd be able to push a button and pause a football game so i could poop.
The only thing Netflix has done right tonight so far was when Jerry Jones' mic wasn't working.
November 16, 2024 at 3:28 AM
The only thing Netflix has done right tonight so far was when Jerry Jones' mic wasn't working.
My ex wife just texted wyd tonight so i guess I'm gonna cut my dick off now to avoid having a weak moment later.
November 15, 2024 at 10:51 PM
My ex wife just texted wyd tonight so i guess I'm gonna cut my dick off now to avoid having a weak moment later.
Put a roast in the crockpot before I left for work and I'm almost positive I forgot to turn the damn thing on.
November 15, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Put a roast in the crockpot before I left for work and I'm almost positive I forgot to turn the damn thing on.
If there really are aliens in the ocean I hope they're like the ones on Cocoon so I can tie my shoes without holding my breath like I did when I was 25.
November 15, 2024 at 5:10 PM
If there really are aliens in the ocean I hope they're like the ones on Cocoon so I can tie my shoes without holding my breath like I did when I was 25.
No matter our differences i think we all want Mike Tyson to knock out Jake Paul.
November 15, 2024 at 1:44 AM
No matter our differences i think we all want Mike Tyson to knock out Jake Paul.
The dog jumped while she was sleeping which made me jump which made the cat kick me in both balls as he launched himself off of my lap.
November 14, 2024 at 8:31 PM
The dog jumped while she was sleeping which made me jump which made the cat kick me in both balls as he launched himself off of my lap.
Old age got me walking like a baby deer for the first 5 steps after I get out of my chair
November 14, 2024 at 4:41 AM
Old age got me walking like a baby deer for the first 5 steps after I get out of my chair
Had to get high to combat the fact that I wasn't high.
November 14, 2024 at 4:07 AM
Had to get high to combat the fact that I wasn't high.
Reposted by JC
I typically like to keep it PG rated but man do I love a nice butthole
November 13, 2024 at 2:37 AM
I typically like to keep it PG rated but man do I love a nice butthole
