Mikey J Hans
@superhans.bsky.social
I occasionally write comedy things, sometimes heard on BBC TV & Radio...but mostly I just shout into the abyss.
Bob Mortimer once called me a "Funny MoFo".
Migrated from X because of that sh*t Bond villain.
Bob Mortimer once called me a "Funny MoFo".
Migrated from X because of that sh*t Bond villain.
Wouldn't be surprised if #MUFC bring in Gareth Southgate before Xmas.
He's available, pals with Ratcliffe and has that individual man management style the players might better respond too.
I actually think he'd steady the ship.
Boring and safe, but definitely more secure than we are currently.
He's available, pals with Ratcliffe and has that individual man management style the players might better respond too.
I actually think he'd steady the ship.
Boring and safe, but definitely more secure than we are currently.
a man in a suit and tie is clapping his hands in front of a crowd in a stadium .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is clapping his hands in front of a crowd in a stadium .
media.tenor.com
September 27, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Wouldn't be surprised if #MUFC bring in Gareth Southgate before Xmas.
He's available, pals with Ratcliffe and has that individual man management style the players might better respond too.
I actually think he'd steady the ship.
Boring and safe, but definitely more secure than we are currently.
He's available, pals with Ratcliffe and has that individual man management style the players might better respond too.
I actually think he'd steady the ship.
Boring and safe, but definitely more secure than we are currently.
Why do I feel this bread is making wayward assumptions on my political disposition?
December 4, 2024 at 3:02 PM
Why do I feel this bread is making wayward assumptions on my political disposition?
My Dad when he noticed someone stirring the consommé as it simmered, watching Australian MasterChef.
He's a Northern, retired soldier, who has never cooked in his life...but has watched every show of the preceding 15 series.
He's a Northern, retired soldier, who has never cooked in his life...but has watched every show of the preceding 15 series.
a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair and pointing at something
ALT: a man in a yellow shirt is sitting in a chair and pointing at something
media.tenor.com
December 3, 2024 at 8:31 PM
My Dad when he noticed someone stirring the consommé as it simmered, watching Australian MasterChef.
He's a Northern, retired soldier, who has never cooked in his life...but has watched every show of the preceding 15 series.
He's a Northern, retired soldier, who has never cooked in his life...but has watched every show of the preceding 15 series.
DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!
The IMF and World Bank categorising African countries as 'High Risk' and raising interest rates because George Michael asked if they knew it was Christmas.
Yet, they haven't punished Scotland, where the Proclaimers had to walk 500 miles to escape the country.
The IMF and World Bank categorising African countries as 'High Risk' and raising interest rates because George Michael asked if they knew it was Christmas.
Yet, they haven't punished Scotland, where the Proclaimers had to walk 500 miles to escape the country.
"It's done more bad than good."
Fuse ODG tells @nickferrarilbc.bsky.social that he believes Band Aid is responsible for Africa losing 'trillions of pounds in revenue.'
Fuse ODG tells @nickferrarilbc.bsky.social that he believes Band Aid is responsible for Africa losing 'trillions of pounds in revenue.'
November 25, 2024 at 5:50 PM
DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!
The IMF and World Bank categorising African countries as 'High Risk' and raising interest rates because George Michael asked if they knew it was Christmas.
Yet, they haven't punished Scotland, where the Proclaimers had to walk 500 miles to escape the country.
The IMF and World Bank categorising African countries as 'High Risk' and raising interest rates because George Michael asked if they knew it was Christmas.
Yet, they haven't punished Scotland, where the Proclaimers had to walk 500 miles to escape the country.
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
A list of bands in order of efficacy:
3. Placebo
2. The Cure
1. Prevention
3. Placebo
2. The Cure
1. Prevention
November 22, 2024 at 12:05 PM
A list of bands in order of efficacy:
3. Placebo
2. The Cure
1. Prevention
3. Placebo
2. The Cure
1. Prevention
Probably the last thing you need to be dealing with when you're absolutely knackered.
November 23, 2024 at 11:35 PM
Probably the last thing you need to be dealing with when you're absolutely knackered.
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
To be fair she does look like a chicken.
November 23, 2024 at 2:08 PM
To be fair she does look like a chicken.
This post might not mean a lot to people, and many won't recognise its value.
But, it's really difficult for me to say, so here goes...
Floccinaucinihilipilification.
But, it's really difficult for me to say, so here goes...
Floccinaucinihilipilification.
November 19, 2024 at 8:59 AM
This post might not mean a lot to people, and many won't recognise its value.
But, it's really difficult for me to say, so here goes...
Floccinaucinihilipilification.
But, it's really difficult for me to say, so here goes...
Floccinaucinihilipilification.
I'm just here to mess up the algorithm and bring polarising wedge issues to Bluesky.
So I put to you... the only correct scheduling of daily meals:
Breakfast -> Dinner -> Tea
So I put to you... the only correct scheduling of daily meals:
Breakfast -> Dinner -> Tea
November 17, 2024 at 9:44 PM
I'm just here to mess up the algorithm and bring polarising wedge issues to Bluesky.
So I put to you... the only correct scheduling of daily meals:
Breakfast -> Dinner -> Tea
So I put to you... the only correct scheduling of daily meals:
Breakfast -> Dinner -> Tea
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
I intend to use this new, less-sullied place to:
1) Make gently humourous observations about everyday life;
2) Post charming pictures;
3) Crush my enemies utterly beneath my heel.
1) Make gently humourous observations about everyday life;
2) Post charming pictures;
3) Crush my enemies utterly beneath my heel.
November 17, 2024 at 11:10 AM
I intend to use this new, less-sullied place to:
1) Make gently humourous observations about everyday life;
2) Post charming pictures;
3) Crush my enemies utterly beneath my heel.
1) Make gently humourous observations about everyday life;
2) Post charming pictures;
3) Crush my enemies utterly beneath my heel.
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count." I don't care that he loves Dracula I just want to know who's winning.
November 15, 2024 at 4:04 PM
I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count." I don't care that he loves Dracula I just want to know who's winning.
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
Now that we’re here, and the angry people are on X and the dancing people are on insta, and we’re all finding a place; wouldn’t it be nice if there was a peaceful garden somewhere, just for the sexy lady bot accounts, where they could finally rest.
November 15, 2024 at 6:04 PM
Now that we’re here, and the angry people are on X and the dancing people are on insta, and we’re all finding a place; wouldn’t it be nice if there was a peaceful garden somewhere, just for the sexy lady bot accounts, where they could finally rest.
Grandpa?...
November 15, 2024 at 11:07 PM
Grandpa?...
I feel like @fabriziorom.bsky.social needs to start doing a "HERE WE GO", for our favourite Twitter accounts coming across to Bluesky.
November 15, 2024 at 11:05 PM
I feel like @fabriziorom.bsky.social needs to start doing a "HERE WE GO", for our favourite Twitter accounts coming across to Bluesky.
X is now like the end of the 4am afters. Just a bunch of weird dudes no one knows, hanging around the kitchen, desperately to get hold of their Albanian guy to keep the party going.
November 15, 2024 at 10:41 PM
X is now like the end of the 4am afters. Just a bunch of weird dudes no one knows, hanging around the kitchen, desperately to get hold of their Albanian guy to keep the party going.
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
Henry don’t do it you have so much to live for
August 17, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Henry don’t do it you have so much to live for
Visiting the Mother and having a cup of tea, so naturally she's been catching me up on the latest news regarding her next door neighbours she enjoys noseying (spying) on. So I thought I'd share her thinking with you, and let you decide for herself... (1/8)
August 17, 2024 at 12:34 PM
Visiting the Mother and having a cup of tea, so naturally she's been catching me up on the latest news regarding her next door neighbours she enjoys noseying (spying) on. So I thought I'd share her thinking with you, and let you decide for herself... (1/8)
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
distanceraptor
Velociraptor = ----------------
timeraptor
Velociraptor = ----------------
timeraptor
Mean girls is the sum of girls divided by the number of girls
August 16, 2024 at 5:37 PM
distanceraptor
Velociraptor = ----------------
timeraptor
Velociraptor = ----------------
timeraptor
Who else is breaking the golden rule of accas by betting on the early kick off? 😅
#premierleague is back!
#premierleague is back!
a logo for the barclays premier league with a lion and a soccer ball
ALT: a logo for the barclays premier league with a lion and a soccer ball
media.tenor.com
August 17, 2024 at 9:59 AM
Who else is breaking the golden rule of accas by betting on the early kick off? 😅
#premierleague is back!
#premierleague is back!
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
Well isn’t this pleasant. Everyone saying good morning and folk wishing others a lovely day. 🙌
Can’t help thinking I’m in some version of The Truman Show. 😄
Can’t help thinking I’m in some version of The Truman Show. 😄
August 16, 2024 at 8:26 AM
Well isn’t this pleasant. Everyone saying good morning and folk wishing others a lovely day. 🙌
Can’t help thinking I’m in some version of The Truman Show. 😄
Can’t help thinking I’m in some version of The Truman Show. 😄
Probably should have stuck with paper cups
August 17, 2024 at 9:51 AM
Probably should have stuck with paper cups
Imagine spilling your cup of tea, trying to avoid becoming a human poached egg, as you frantically swim to safety
August 16, 2024 at 3:57 PM
Imagine spilling your cup of tea, trying to avoid becoming a human poached egg, as you frantically swim to safety
Shits all over The Proclaimers brag
Stonehenge rock was lugged 400 miles from Scotland, scientists find
https://www.ft.com/content/5e6caddf-292b-4ed7-a0fa-f811a8331de2
https://www.ft.com/content/5e6caddf-292b-4ed7-a0fa-f811a8331de2
Stonehenge rock was lugged 400 miles from Scotland, scientists find
Discovery of Altar Stone’s origin is latest twist in creation story of fabled 5,000-year-old neolithic site
www.ft.com
August 14, 2024 at 7:14 PM
Shits all over The Proclaimers brag
I also can't run without wanting to commit GBH
August 13, 2024 at 11:51 PM
I also can't run without wanting to commit GBH
Reposted by Mikey J Hans
