Jessica Stoya
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stoya.bsky.social
Jessica Stoya
@stoya.bsky.social
Writer. Raconteur. Sex Icon. Intimacy coach through BestSelfPsych (but not a psychotherapist).

Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.

USA born. Living in Serbia.

Retired from adult due to difficulties accessing payment for lewd work
Closing my S Corp, which means valuing tangible assets, which means valuing a pile of gently used lingerie

This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb

And what else might be on their spreadsheets
October 31, 2025 at 8:58 AM
You say “made”, I say “bestowed the opportunity to”
October 31, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Why (in the sense of an actual question) is the extremely vast majority of dental hygiene products some kind of mint?

Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
October 8, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
As part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's roster of events for Banned Book Week (buy a banned book @bookshop.org), Jessica Stoya and I talked about Fanny Hill, criminal and civil book bans, and the US Supreme Court:
Why Fanny Hill Still Turns Heads with Chelsea G. Summers and Jessica Stoya
YouTube video by EveryLibrary
www.youtube.com
October 8, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
It's Banned Book Week, and I'm delighted to be part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's calendar of events by chatting with @stoya.bsky.social about Fanny Hill (aka Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), a Very Banned book. I mean, it was banned in two countries, at least five times.
EveryLibrary Live! Banned Books 2025 Calendar
Join EveryLibrary Live! for Banned Books Week Fest 2025, a free online celebration featuring 25+ authors, editors, and advocates in bold conversations about storytelling, censorship, and the freedom t...
www.everylibrary.org
October 6, 2025 at 12:31 PM
This half drunk man was about to tell me why, for the past several months, he has been confidently assuming I am Russian despite my complete inability to roll an r

And then he got distracted

As tipsy people tend to
October 4, 2025 at 10:08 PM
It is dumb! It is ignorant! And it also works in one of several ways when it is inescapable for prolonged periods of time.
I'm so used to seeing their politics as dumb and ignorant that I miss how insidious the intent behind statements like Vance's are.
October 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
My completely flaming hot take on “Wayward” is that, as much as it drastically underplays the reality of teen reprogramming camps, it serves as a palatable-to-the-blissfully-uninitiated primer on some of the mind warping tactics

Which are often used by the current US administration
Weaponized gratitude is a key tool in the abuser's toolkit. The goal is to convince the victim that they owe the abuser so much, they should feel guilty for wanting to complain.
October 4, 2025 at 6:16 PM
… they please replace it with one that is actually representative of how I tend to look?
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:32 AM
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:31 AM
“Allowed to focus on… where we feel our voices will be effective” 💕
Yes and also we all aren't outrage jukeboxes, you can't just press a button and have us be outraged on request. We're all allowed to focus on what we want and where we feel our voices will be effective right now, and trust that others will fight the other fights worth fighting. It's a group effort.
Them: Where was your outrage for [awful thing unrelated to the post they're replying to]??!

Me: ... Clearly you don't actually follow me on social media where I've been ranting for years. 🙄
September 24, 2025 at 8:51 AM
I stay in my own lane and I avoid a lot of pain
September 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
In which Rich Juzwiak really knocks it out of the park on sexualized labor, and I am that much more proud to be his colleague

slate.com/advice/2025/...

For @slate.com’s How To Do It column
My Wife Told Me She Got a “Promotion” at Work. Then I Found Out What She’s Really Been Doing.
This isn't exactly how I want her to support our family.
slate.com
September 20, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I do pay a little extra for the hand-holding tier

It works out as less expensive and more efficient than bothering lawyers and accountants with things that are below their level but above my head when I first encounter them
I love the payroll company I use in the US

Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”

Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects

They’re patient
September 18, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I love the payroll company I use in the US

Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”

Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects

They’re patient
September 18, 2025 at 8:06 PM
With a little more executive function, the past two days could have each been half at my desk and half on my feet

Alas…
September 18, 2025 at 5:48 PM
My orbs were titillated

I injected nothing balsamic

Only thoughts and opinions

But I suppose some of those could be considered tart, sweet, or simultaneously both
Anyway preorder this new edition of Fanny Hill with a forward by me and a conversation with @stoya.bsky.social. It'll titillate your twin orbs and perhaps induce a balsamic injection.
September 18, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
Anyway preorder this new edition of Fanny Hill with a forward by me and a conversation with @stoya.bsky.social. It'll titillate your twin orbs and perhaps induce a balsamic injection.
September 18, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
Reminder that Fanny Hill was banned, litigated, expurgated, rereleased, banned, litigated, edited, rereleased, banned in the UK, banned in the US, litigated, rereleased, and now faces potential bans again. All this for a book with no expletives and espouses a clearly capitalist bourgeoise agenda.
Are you starving for beauty? Well feast your eyes on the official 2026 Smith & Taylor Classics line-up!

📮 Preorder our annual subscription service at unnamedpress.com now to receive books throughout the year!
September 18, 2025 at 8:50 AM
After a ten hour workday, which included makeup and also bits of cleaning during slim chunks of down time which would otherwise have been wasted

I need to remove the makeup

(Which includes primer, light foundation and powder, and mascara)

Why didn’t I train Pixelcat how to help with this?
September 17, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
“Anything that has a new smell may have a mouse in it” - ancient cat proverb
September 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
This cat is precious

Widget does not care whether I am in a sit-able position at all

Unless I have a new-to-him smell

Because he is a happy little pillow on the corner of the couch or bed

There’s almost always an outlier
It seems that all cats likes those parts of day.
September 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Pixel’s favorite parts of the day are when I am sitting at my desk or laying in bed
September 14, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Meanwhile, any time I change something in my hygiene routine that involves a new scent, I become the most interesting thing in the home to Widget
Somebody gave me a sample of this incredible moisturizer

and it is truly incredible

but it also smells like if there were some coconut flavored medicine in a way similar to the cherry flavored cough syrup of millennial youth
September 14, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Somebody gave me a sample of this incredible moisturizer

and it is truly incredible

but it also smells like if there were some coconut flavored medicine in a way similar to the cherry flavored cough syrup of millennial youth
September 14, 2025 at 1:02 PM