Jessica Stoya
@stoya.bsky.social
Writer. Raconteur. Sex Icon. Intimacy coach through BestSelfPsych (but not a psychotherapist).
Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.
USA born. Living in Serbia.
Management: Info@lovermanagement.com
Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.
USA born. Living in Serbia.
Management: Info@lovermanagement.com
This feels like a great opportunity for the traditional Serbian cheers “živeli” which means “we lived” which we did, indeed, manage
I didn't do much this year beyond, you know, survive it. But I did write the intro to a new edition of Fanny Hill and talk with @stoya.bsky.social about it:
Fanny Hill: Or, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure — Unnamed Press
by John Cleland Published: January 06, 2026 ISBN: 9781961884731 Paperback $18.95
www.unnamedpress.com
December 31, 2025 at 1:15 PM
This feels like a great opportunity for the traditional Serbian cheers “živeli” which means “we lived” which we did, indeed, manage
Nije kafa
Kuvana vina
Like if a chai latte were made out of wine instead of milk
Happy new year
Kuvana vina
Like if a chai latte were made out of wine instead of milk
Happy new year
December 31, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Nije kafa
Kuvana vina
Like if a chai latte were made out of wine instead of milk
Happy new year
Kuvana vina
Like if a chai latte were made out of wine instead of milk
Happy new year
Today I saw my neighborhood obučarka
Her shop was closed for a couple of weeks because everyone had the “not showing on covid tests but doctors think it’s mutated covid” that put half the city on our asses
I am happy she and her staff made it through
Her shop was closed for a couple of weeks because everyone had the “not showing on covid tests but doctors think it’s mutated covid” that put half the city on our asses
I am happy she and her staff made it through
December 28, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Today I saw my neighborhood obučarka
Her shop was closed for a couple of weeks because everyone had the “not showing on covid tests but doctors think it’s mutated covid” that put half the city on our asses
I am happy she and her staff made it through
Her shop was closed for a couple of weeks because everyone had the “not showing on covid tests but doctors think it’s mutated covid” that put half the city on our asses
I am happy she and her staff made it through
slate.com/advice/2025/...
Are work-from-home-induced slides into pajamas and irregular usage of body cleansing liquids as much of a phenomenon as I think they are?
Are work-from-home-induced slides into pajamas and irregular usage of body cleansing liquids as much of a phenomenon as I think they are?
My Boyfriend Works From Home. It’s Led to a Vexing Problem in Our Sex Life.
He's gotten a bit too ... comfortable.
slate.com
December 24, 2025 at 7:19 PM
slate.com/advice/2025/...
Are work-from-home-induced slides into pajamas and irregular usage of body cleansing liquids as much of a phenomenon as I think they are?
Are work-from-home-induced slides into pajamas and irregular usage of body cleansing liquids as much of a phenomenon as I think they are?
I will not ask the obviously ai chat bot how many minutes are in a moment
That would be a fruitless waste of electricity and water
Instead I will sit here and seethe
That would be a fruitless waste of electricity and water
Instead I will sit here and seethe
December 18, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I will not ask the obviously ai chat bot how many minutes are in a moment
That would be a fruitless waste of electricity and water
Instead I will sit here and seethe
That would be a fruitless waste of electricity and water
Instead I will sit here and seethe
I restocked my single alcohol wipe and small tissue pack stash
(For the not really large but still firmly NYC style Mary Poppins-esque purse)
Which means I can’t stop thinking about the time someone knocked over a beer at a bar and I triumphantly whipped out what turned out to be a maxi pad
(For the not really large but still firmly NYC style Mary Poppins-esque purse)
Which means I can’t stop thinking about the time someone knocked over a beer at a bar and I triumphantly whipped out what turned out to be a maxi pad
December 12, 2025 at 8:58 PM
I restocked my single alcohol wipe and small tissue pack stash
(For the not really large but still firmly NYC style Mary Poppins-esque purse)
Which means I can’t stop thinking about the time someone knocked over a beer at a bar and I triumphantly whipped out what turned out to be a maxi pad
(For the not really large but still firmly NYC style Mary Poppins-esque purse)
Which means I can’t stop thinking about the time someone knocked over a beer at a bar and I triumphantly whipped out what turned out to be a maxi pad
NYSIF rates are going down by 28% for next year
But there’s still a 60$/year minimum
Which we were already under
I guess, happy for everyone else?
But there’s still a 60$/year minimum
Which we were already under
I guess, happy for everyone else?
December 8, 2025 at 8:09 PM
NYSIF rates are going down by 28% for next year
But there’s still a 60$/year minimum
Which we were already under
I guess, happy for everyone else?
But there’s still a 60$/year minimum
Which we were already under
I guess, happy for everyone else?
This is incredibly useful
Is it still acceptable to go on long and meandering philosophical detours in the alt text?
Is it still acceptable to go on long and meandering philosophical detours in the alt text?
I wonder how quickly, and by how many photographers I'd get blocked if I just started dropping this image in the comments of every photo they post without alt text.
#photography
#photography
December 6, 2025 at 4:55 PM
This is incredibly useful
Is it still acceptable to go on long and meandering philosophical detours in the alt text?
Is it still acceptable to go on long and meandering philosophical detours in the alt text?
Thanksgiving 2025
I woke up
I paused to enjoy gratitude for every detail I noticed
I considered cooking and then didn’t
I participated in a small critical discussion of American policies throughout history
Then
…
I woke up
I paused to enjoy gratitude for every detail I noticed
I considered cooking and then didn’t
I participated in a small critical discussion of American policies throughout history
Then
…
November 27, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Thanksgiving 2025
I woke up
I paused to enjoy gratitude for every detail I noticed
I considered cooking and then didn’t
I participated in a small critical discussion of American policies throughout history
Then
…
I woke up
I paused to enjoy gratitude for every detail I noticed
I considered cooking and then didn’t
I participated in a small critical discussion of American policies throughout history
Then
…
Glasses info request part two:
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
November 19, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Glasses info request part two:
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
Twelve days ago I experienced stereopsis
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
November 16, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Twelve days ago I experienced stereopsis
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
Voicememo to accountant:
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
November 13, 2025 at 10:13 AM
Voicememo to accountant:
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
Closing my S Corp, which means valuing tangible assets, which means valuing a pile of gently used lingerie
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
October 31, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Closing my S Corp, which means valuing tangible assets, which means valuing a pile of gently used lingerie
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
You say “made”, I say “bestowed the opportunity to”
I made @stoya.bsky.social read Fanny Hill and talk about it with me for the upcoming @sandtclassics.bsky.social reissue of the seminal 18th-century pornographic novel. You can read our convo on @lithub.com.web.brid.gy. There are porn spoilers and other juicy delights:
Porn, But Also Literature: On John Cleland’s Fanny Hill
Banned from publication in the United States until 1966 for its assumed obscenity, immorality, and lack of literary merit, Fanny Hill, or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (1749), is a novel considere…
lithub.com
October 31, 2025 at 8:55 AM
You say “made”, I say “bestowed the opportunity to”
Why (in the sense of an actual question) is the extremely vast majority of dental hygiene products some kind of mint?
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
October 8, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Why (in the sense of an actual question) is the extremely vast majority of dental hygiene products some kind of mint?
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
As part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's roster of events for Banned Book Week (buy a banned book @bookshop.org), Jessica Stoya and I talked about Fanny Hill, criminal and civil book bans, and the US Supreme Court:
Why Fanny Hill Still Turns Heads with Chelsea G. Summers and Jessica Stoya
YouTube video by EveryLibrary
www.youtube.com
October 8, 2025 at 12:26 PM
As part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's roster of events for Banned Book Week (buy a banned book @bookshop.org), Jessica Stoya and I talked about Fanny Hill, criminal and civil book bans, and the US Supreme Court:
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
It's Banned Book Week, and I'm delighted to be part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's calendar of events by chatting with @stoya.bsky.social about Fanny Hill (aka Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), a Very Banned book. I mean, it was banned in two countries, at least five times.
EveryLibrary Live! Banned Books 2025 Calendar
Join EveryLibrary Live! for Banned Books Week Fest 2025, a free online celebration featuring 25+ authors, editors, and advocates in bold conversations about storytelling, censorship, and the freedom t...
www.everylibrary.org
October 6, 2025 at 12:31 PM
It's Banned Book Week, and I'm delighted to be part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's calendar of events by chatting with @stoya.bsky.social about Fanny Hill (aka Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), a Very Banned book. I mean, it was banned in two countries, at least five times.
This half drunk man was about to tell me why, for the past several months, he has been confidently assuming I am Russian despite my complete inability to roll an r
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
October 4, 2025 at 10:08 PM
This half drunk man was about to tell me why, for the past several months, he has been confidently assuming I am Russian despite my complete inability to roll an r
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
It is dumb! It is ignorant! And it also works in one of several ways when it is inescapable for prolonged periods of time.
I'm so used to seeing their politics as dumb and ignorant that I miss how insidious the intent behind statements like Vance's are.
October 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
It is dumb! It is ignorant! And it also works in one of several ways when it is inescapable for prolonged periods of time.
My completely flaming hot take on “Wayward” is that, as much as it drastically underplays the reality of teen reprogramming camps, it serves as a palatable-to-the-blissfully-uninitiated primer on some of the mind warping tactics
Which are often used by the current US administration
Which are often used by the current US administration
Weaponized gratitude is a key tool in the abuser's toolkit. The goal is to convince the victim that they owe the abuser so much, they should feel guilty for wanting to complain.
October 4, 2025 at 6:16 PM
My completely flaming hot take on “Wayward” is that, as much as it drastically underplays the reality of teen reprogramming camps, it serves as a palatable-to-the-blissfully-uninitiated primer on some of the mind warping tactics
Which are often used by the current US administration
Which are often used by the current US administration
… they please replace it with one that is actually representative of how I tend to look?
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:32 AM
… they please replace it with one that is actually representative of how I tend to look?
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:31 AM
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
“Allowed to focus on… where we feel our voices will be effective” 💕
Yes and also we all aren't outrage jukeboxes, you can't just press a button and have us be outraged on request. We're all allowed to focus on what we want and where we feel our voices will be effective right now, and trust that others will fight the other fights worth fighting. It's a group effort.
Them: Where was your outrage for [awful thing unrelated to the post they're replying to]??!
Me: ... Clearly you don't actually follow me on social media where I've been ranting for years. 🙄
Me: ... Clearly you don't actually follow me on social media where I've been ranting for years. 🙄
September 24, 2025 at 8:51 AM
“Allowed to focus on… where we feel our voices will be effective” 💕