Jessica Stoya
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stoya.bsky.social
Jessica Stoya
@stoya.bsky.social
16K followers 380 following 2.7K posts
Writer. Raconteur. Sex Icon. Intimacy coach through BestSelfPsych (but not a psychotherapist).

Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.

USA born. Living in Serbia.

Retired from adult due to difficulties accessing payment for lewd work
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stoya.bsky.social
Bonded pairs are wonderful
September 27, 2025 at 9:10 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Pixel’s favorite parts of the day are when I am sitting at my desk or laying in bed
The top of an orange tabby cat’s head with quite luxurious whiskers projecting upwards and outwards
September 14, 2025 at 4:06 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Widget

Or at least his tail
An orange and white striped cat tail curves around a dark purple curtain
September 12, 2025 at 5:52 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Widget has some little matted tufts on his butt. He loves having his back and sides brushed but is very against having the back of his rear brushed. I’d like to resolve this before we reach the stage of having the vet shave it. I have been trying to work them out with my fingers to no avail. Tips?
Two cats sitting on an ottoman next to a book about the history of Belgrade. The piece of furniture in question is not called an ottoman in Serbian.
August 10, 2025 at 10:13 AM
stoya.bsky.social
I need a pretty sexually adventurous and experienced Gen Zer for the @slate.com How To Do It column that needs to be turned in on Friday

I don’t know any

Pls halp

(This can take the form of volunteering, reaching out to your network back channel, or reposting)

Can be anonymous if needed
A photo of Pixelcat (an orange tabby boy with white belly and socks, and one eye) stretched out on a čilim style rug in front of a rack of shoes (all flats) and a pair of automatic dry food feeders, looking exhausted yet happy. This is my mood. As Bijan said once, the pair of cats are my familiars. We are emotionally linked.
August 8, 2025 at 9:30 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Whooooo’s got four paws and behaved like a dying beast for over four days, before smelling a plate of sarmice u želju and suddenly, once again, becoming a creature whoeats and runs and chirps and seems like he will continue to live

This guy

Four vet visits in a week 🙇🏻‍♀️

More tests soon

Cats… 🤷🏻‍♀️
A mostly white cat with peach ears and tail stripes, in between a curtain and a balcony window, wrapped around a Caucasian (now that I have met people from the Caucus this feels like an odd word to use, but, ok, that’s what we say in American-English for white people?) belly-petting hand, with the flash reflecting off of his irises like a little demon polar bear
July 28, 2025 at 9:40 PM
stoya.bsky.social
The face of a cat who will curl up at bed time with his butt right under your face, begin to purr like a happy little cat-cloud, and then break wind directly into your nostrils
A white cat with peach ears and blue eyes, laying on his side on a grey patterned duvet cover in front of a grey headboard, existing as a happy animal in the world except for the nuisance of a human photographing him
July 15, 2025 at 5:43 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Huge thanks to @comas123083.bsky.social for bringing the actual Tollhouse chocolate chips
A tray of fluffy yet two kinds of crispy chocolate chip cookies on baking paper, on a tray, on the stovetop—cooling. The three in the top left corner are stuck together.
June 27, 2025 at 3:02 PM
stoya.bsky.social
This week’s proof of life

Pixel, demonstrating how he articulates that he isn’t finished being pet
An orange tabby cat, on a bed, attacking the hem of a light beige cotton dress because the person wearing aforementioned dress had the nerve to attempt to walk away before the cat in question was satisfied with the amount of affection and reassurance which had been given. There’s also a grey blanket and a multicolor carpet in the background, but I don’t think y’all are particularly interested in that.
June 22, 2025 at 2:23 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Fleshlight, for this month only, is selling an upside-down version of my unique product texture

www.fleshlight.eu/products/fle...

I receive a generous royalty percentage from all sales
An ad for Fleshlight’s Birthday Cake edition, in which they reverse the standard Stoya Destroya texture. The background is pale pink, the text is hot pink. I (a pale woman with long dark hair, in a purple silk lingerie set) stand to the right holding a Fleshlight case.
June 6, 2025 at 5:45 PM
stoya.bsky.social
This week’s installment of what has become a regular proof of life routine
June 1, 2025 at 5:16 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Still alive

Have more cats
A white cat with orange ears and an orange tabby cuddled up together on a black blanket
May 25, 2025 at 2:43 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Still overwhelmingly busy

Have a cat
An orange cat with a slightly blurry head, on a beige blanket, on a grey blanket, on a black couch
May 16, 2025 at 4:13 PM
stoya.bsky.social
I am alive

Just really busy and extremely whelmed

Please enjoy this picture of the cats
An orange cat with one eye staring to the right side of the camera with strong directional light from the left, with a mostly white cat in the back left corner (out of focus). Also in the background is a bookshelf with several things piled on top, some of which are pictures that need to be hung, but the walls are plaster with concrete block behind which requires a hammer drill which I literally don’t weigh enough to operate safely and I’ve heard rumors of some four pronged stabby hook things which might be better but also tried the 3M strips which are supposed to be like magic and not damage walls and they are absolutely not like magic and did damage the paint, but really, the pictures are going to have to wait because I am, as mentioned in the main post, severely whelmed
May 8, 2025 at 8:35 PM
stoya.bsky.social
NeuroProvocateurs episode 2

“What’s a Vibe?”

Wherever you listen to (watch?) your podcasts

With @pennyred.bsky.social and @pamshaffercreates.bsky.social
Welcome to Neuroprovocateurs, the podcast all about neurodiversity and self acceptance. Want to hear all about how neurodiversity affects culture, relationships, sexuality and identity? You’ve come to the right place. Our second episode explores the complexities of neurodivergence and social interactions. Laurie Penny discusses the challenges of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, highlighting the difficulty in understanding and communicating emotions while Jessica Stoya shares her experience of moving to Serbia, where ADHD behaviors are more accepted. Pam Shaffer talks about the intersection of gender and neurodivergence, noting how her ADHD traits are perceived differently due to her gender and how this has affected her relationships. The discussion also touches on the "double empathy problem," where neurodivergent individuals struggle to understand neurotypical emotional expression and vice versa.
May 1, 2025 at 6:41 PM
stoya.bsky.social
…and this is my lackluster “will anyone enjoy this” baklava
A silver metal pan of golden phyllo dough/kore desserts with citrus-infused honey drizzled over top and walnut paste in between the buttery layers—not the Serbian way, but also not quite the Greek way I was taught by a childhood neighbor, but also quite acceptable in the end
April 22, 2025 at 10:45 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Baka Vera was the absolute best

Photo by @nikolatamindzic.com

She passed in early 2021

She taught me all the best of everything about life, and art, and learning

Her conversations lasted hours and were systematically recursive
Early 30s Stoya on a bed with her grandmother Vera, both smiling, even though both are somewhat unhinged as humans—connected through the bond forged by family, and through that of a shared disconnection from norms—and captured by Nikola Tamindžić.
April 22, 2025 at 10:16 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Thank you!

@pamshaffercreates.bsky.social and @pennyred.bsky.social just want to make sure y’all see this feedback

Listen on really any usual podcast place
Pastel pink background with black spiky text “Neuroprovocateurs” logo with stylized eyeball in the middle
April 19, 2025 at 2:44 PM
stoya.bsky.social
“I love you from a slight distance and under the cover of this kitchen counter”
An orange cat with one eye and little white “socks”, peeking skeptically out from under the black kitchen counter (why did I go for black countertops? It seemed like such a nice design choice but they display hard water quite obviously and also obfuscate small sticky patches)
April 12, 2025 at 9:31 AM
stoya.bsky.social
With gratitude for the wave of adorable animal photos yesterday

I present

Widjet, in a pose which is something between a turkey and a dragon
A mostly white cat with peach back and ears, stretched out on a black bed with his shoulder blades raised sharply and his neck elongated
April 9, 2025 at 11:10 AM
stoya.bsky.social
Found this gorgeous shot by Maria Krugovaja for @iamevgenia.com while looking for a headshot

When I found it, I stopped looking
A greyscale photo of a pale female human with chin length hair and a lot of eye makeup in a floral printed jacket, caught with an expression that says “I love you in all the ways that have to do with friendship, art, and shared experience of relocation, and especially because you encourage me to fight like the tiger I am when it is called for”
March 27, 2025 at 9:15 PM
stoya.bsky.social
From the group chat in which I announced solving one of the problems
Three text messages from myself (Jessica Stoya) which read: In the end I figured it out by getting pretty close to drunk I have been told by many programmers that this is broadly considered part of the process This explains something about our current era
March 23, 2025 at 4:28 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Another glorious day on set with Maria Krugovaya, this time with gorgeous lingerie by @iamevgenia.com

I’m in love with these photos
February 28, 2025 at 12:31 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Just read a 404 media article about it

Ugh

I have these cats?
February 27, 2025 at 4:54 PM
stoya.bsky.social
Today feels like a really good day to repost Sonja Vitow’s I’M NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR BIG DICK (with art by @fyodorpavlov.bsky.social)
I’M NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR BIG DICK by Sonja Vitow You didn’t carve it from stone You didn’t forge it from steel You didn’t grow it from seed But maybe if you had, if you’d sown it unassuming, watered it, nurtured, and sang to it, bathed it with gentle hands and only then had it grown well that would be something, to know you could be tender with someone, with yourself.
February 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM