@spin-nightshade.bsky.social
Reposted
A part of trauma recovery that I, & lots of other survivors, resist accepting is the fact that many of our past choices weren't actual "choices"-- that we were limited in what we could see & realistically do by our conditioning & programming.
We don't love feeling powerless.
We don't love feeling powerless.
October 12, 2025 at 6:22 PM
A part of trauma recovery that I, & lots of other survivors, resist accepting is the fact that many of our past choices weren't actual "choices"-- that we were limited in what we could see & realistically do by our conditioning & programming.
We don't love feeling powerless.
We don't love feeling powerless.
Reposted
Many survivors feel shame about how our symptoms get in the way of "adulting"-- but you need to know tasks like paying bills, being on time, car maintenance, & even basic hygiene often trip the "Big Three" CPTSD triggers: feeling controlled, trapped, or "in trouble."
No shame.
No shame.
September 20, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Many survivors feel shame about how our symptoms get in the way of "adulting"-- but you need to know tasks like paying bills, being on time, car maintenance, & even basic hygiene often trip the "Big Three" CPTSD triggers: feeling controlled, trapped, or "in trouble."
No shame.
No shame.
Reposted
Many of us got exactly the wrong thing reinforced when, as kids, we were praised as "mature" or "good kids" for shutting down.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
September 17, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Many of us got exactly the wrong thing reinforced when, as kids, we were praised as "mature" or "good kids" for shutting down.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
Reposted
We don't need to make "perfect" decisions on this CPTSD recovery journey-- which is good news, because we totally won't.
What we DO need is to feel our decisions are actually ours-- that we actually have the space & support to make true choices. That part is non-negotiable.
What we DO need is to feel our decisions are actually ours-- that we actually have the space & support to make true choices. That part is non-negotiable.
August 30, 2025 at 10:27 PM
We don't need to make "perfect" decisions on this CPTSD recovery journey-- which is good news, because we totally won't.
What we DO need is to feel our decisions are actually ours-- that we actually have the space & support to make true choices. That part is non-negotiable.
What we DO need is to feel our decisions are actually ours-- that we actually have the space & support to make true choices. That part is non-negotiable.
Reposted
Devote at least as much attention & gratitude to what's holding you together today as you do to what's tearing you apart.
There's a reason you're hurting, yeah-- but there are also reasons you're alive to read this & thinking about healing & recovery. Nurture those.
There's a reason you're hurting, yeah-- but there are also reasons you're alive to read this & thinking about healing & recovery. Nurture those.
August 28, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Devote at least as much attention & gratitude to what's holding you together today as you do to what's tearing you apart.
There's a reason you're hurting, yeah-- but there are also reasons you're alive to read this & thinking about healing & recovery. Nurture those.
There's a reason you're hurting, yeah-- but there are also reasons you're alive to read this & thinking about healing & recovery. Nurture those.
Reposted
So you're not thrilled w/ the last decision you made or reaction you had. So what. Breathe; blink; focus; remind yourself that some moments are diamonds, & some moments are rocks-- & do the next right thing.
Make this next choice .01% better than the last one. Easy does it.
Make this next choice .01% better than the last one. Easy does it.
August 27, 2025 at 10:11 PM
So you're not thrilled w/ the last decision you made or reaction you had. So what. Breathe; blink; focus; remind yourself that some moments are diamonds, & some moments are rocks-- & do the next right thing.
Make this next choice .01% better than the last one. Easy does it.
Make this next choice .01% better than the last one. Easy does it.
Reposted
You ignore their provoking messages and refuse to engage. So they hit you with:
“You’re so cold. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
They are baiting you. When you don’t give them the response they want, they switch tactics—guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or accusing you of being the problem.
“You’re so cold. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
They are baiting you. When you don’t give them the response they want, they switch tactics—guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or accusing you of being the problem.
February 22, 2025 at 8:35 AM
You ignore their provoking messages and refuse to engage. So they hit you with:
“You’re so cold. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
They are baiting you. When you don’t give them the response they want, they switch tactics—guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or accusing you of being the problem.
“You’re so cold. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”
They are baiting you. When you don’t give them the response they want, they switch tactics—guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or accusing you of being the problem.
Reposted
If you're not sure what to do next-- or first-- in recovery, sit down & start journaling about your identity, goals, & values. Don't make it more complicated than "This is who I am. This is who I want to be. I want this. I value that."
Let yourself doodle. Daydream. Imagine.
Let yourself doodle. Daydream. Imagine.
January 13, 2025 at 3:52 PM
If you're not sure what to do next-- or first-- in recovery, sit down & start journaling about your identity, goals, & values. Don't make it more complicated than "This is who I am. This is who I want to be. I want this. I value that."
Let yourself doodle. Daydream. Imagine.
Let yourself doodle. Daydream. Imagine.
Reposted
But every time you set a boundary, every time you refuse to believe their demeaning labels, every time you say no, every time you recognize that their words don’t match reality—you are making progress. You are taking your power one step at a time.
#HealingJourney
January 12, 2025 at 1:11 PM
But every time you set a boundary, every time you refuse to believe their demeaning labels, every time you say no, every time you recognize that their words don’t match reality—you are making progress. You are taking your power one step at a time.
#HealingJourney
Reposted
Leaving an abusive relationship is never as easy as simply walking away. It’s not a switch you flip—it’s a gradual and difficult process of reclaiming your life.
January 12, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Leaving an abusive relationship is never as easy as simply walking away. It’s not a switch you flip—it’s a gradual and difficult process of reclaiming your life.
Reposted
No joke: it can be really hard to extend ourselves grace & patience when Trauma Brain is all in on a narrative of "you should have known better."
Don't get into an argument w/ Trauma Brain about "shoulds." Just refocus, again & again, on doing the next right thing.
Don't get into an argument w/ Trauma Brain about "shoulds." Just refocus, again & again, on doing the next right thing.
January 13, 2025 at 12:01 AM
No joke: it can be really hard to extend ourselves grace & patience when Trauma Brain is all in on a narrative of "you should have known better."
Don't get into an argument w/ Trauma Brain about "shoulds." Just refocus, again & again, on doing the next right thing.
Don't get into an argument w/ Trauma Brain about "shoulds." Just refocus, again & again, on doing the next right thing.
Reposted
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
##manipulation
##manipulation
January 10, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
##manipulation
##manipulation
Reposted
An abuser's criticism, anger, or control is not a reflection of you—it’s a reflection of their own insecurities and need for dominance.
Their behavior is about them, not you!
##CoerciveControl
Their behavior is about them, not you!
##CoerciveControl
January 10, 2025 at 6:02 AM
An abuser's criticism, anger, or control is not a reflection of you—it’s a reflection of their own insecurities and need for dominance.
Their behavior is about them, not you!
##CoerciveControl
Their behavior is about them, not you!
##CoerciveControl
Reposted
My mom found a stack of my old journals.
I found this in one I wrote when I was 19.
Oddly poignant for me at the moment. We are all human. We mess up. We fail. We let people down.
The issue is never the error. It’s what you do once you’ve made it.
I found this in one I wrote when I was 19.
Oddly poignant for me at the moment. We are all human. We mess up. We fail. We let people down.
The issue is never the error. It’s what you do once you’ve made it.
December 30, 2024 at 6:58 AM
My mom found a stack of my old journals.
I found this in one I wrote when I was 19.
Oddly poignant for me at the moment. We are all human. We mess up. We fail. We let people down.
The issue is never the error. It’s what you do once you’ve made it.
I found this in one I wrote when I was 19.
Oddly poignant for me at the moment. We are all human. We mess up. We fail. We let people down.
The issue is never the error. It’s what you do once you’ve made it.
Reposted
The alleviation of women's abuse "is made less likely by the mandated subservience of women by Christian fundamentalists. What is especially disappointing...is the docile acceptance by so many strong Christian women of their subjugation & restricted role." - Jimmy Carter (RIP)
December 29, 2024 at 11:27 PM
The alleviation of women's abuse "is made less likely by the mandated subservience of women by Christian fundamentalists. What is especially disappointing...is the docile acceptance by so many strong Christian women of their subjugation & restricted role." - Jimmy Carter (RIP)
Reposted
“Maybe happiness is about falling in love with your life, eating your favorite foods, dancing to your favorite songs, soaking in all the nourishing moments, slowing down, taking up space, loving yourself and the people around you harder.
Knowing, you are more than enough.”
Good morning, loves.
Knowing, you are more than enough.”
Good morning, loves.
December 29, 2024 at 2:10 PM
“Maybe happiness is about falling in love with your life, eating your favorite foods, dancing to your favorite songs, soaking in all the nourishing moments, slowing down, taking up space, loving yourself and the people around you harder.
Knowing, you are more than enough.”
Good morning, loves.
Knowing, you are more than enough.”
Good morning, loves.
Reposted
To me, a useful way to think about trauma recovery is us keeping promises to the kid we once were, that someone else should have kept once upon a time.
December 29, 2024 at 2:09 AM
To me, a useful way to think about trauma recovery is us keeping promises to the kid we once were, that someone else should have kept once upon a time.
Reposted
Entitled individuals often demand excessive amounts of your time and energy, disregarding your own needs and boundaries. This selfish behavior can drain you emotionally and physically.
Prioritize your own well-being and set clear ##boundaries to protect your energy.
Prioritize your own well-being and set clear ##boundaries to protect your energy.
December 27, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Entitled individuals often demand excessive amounts of your time and energy, disregarding your own needs and boundaries. This selfish behavior can drain you emotionally and physically.
Prioritize your own well-being and set clear ##boundaries to protect your energy.
Prioritize your own well-being and set clear ##boundaries to protect your energy.
Reposted
Removing yourself from people who trigger your mental health and hurt you is top tier self-care
December 21, 2024 at 10:12 PM
Removing yourself from people who trigger your mental health and hurt you is top tier self-care
Reposted
Real change involves more than just promises and words. It requires consistent actions over time, accountability, and genuine remorse.
Try not to let their words keep you trapped in a cycle of hope and disappointment.
##BreakTheCycle
Try not to let their words keep you trapped in a cycle of hope and disappointment.
##BreakTheCycle
December 22, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Real change involves more than just promises and words. It requires consistent actions over time, accountability, and genuine remorse.
Try not to let their words keep you trapped in a cycle of hope and disappointment.
##BreakTheCycle
Try not to let their words keep you trapped in a cycle of hope and disappointment.
##BreakTheCycle
Reposted
You don’t have to justify to anyone why you left an abusive relationship. Your safety and peace are all the reasons you need!
December 21, 2024 at 7:03 PM
You don’t have to justify to anyone why you left an abusive relationship. Your safety and peace are all the reasons you need!
Reposted
“If I had to pick one word to describe a healthy relationship I’d pick “safe”. We feel safe when we’re in a healthy relationship. We don’t feel like we’re about to be invalidated, put down, or betrayed. That’s what a healthy relationship is.” ~ Dr Ramani Durvasula
December 21, 2024 at 11:08 PM
“If I had to pick one word to describe a healthy relationship I’d pick “safe”. We feel safe when we’re in a healthy relationship. We don’t feel like we’re about to be invalidated, put down, or betrayed. That’s what a healthy relationship is.” ~ Dr Ramani Durvasula
Reposted
Healing means understanding some parts of you will be unlikeable, difficult or even an inconvenience for others to handle. Healing will never result in you being a perfect people pleaser, it’s not supposed to.
December 21, 2024 at 11:50 PM
Healing means understanding some parts of you will be unlikeable, difficult or even an inconvenience for others to handle. Healing will never result in you being a perfect people pleaser, it’s not supposed to.
Reposted
THIS makes me think
December 21, 2024 at 7:18 PM
THIS makes me think
Reposted
When we promise ourselves that we're going to come back to something we've decided to temporary avoid (i.e., containment), we gotta keep that promise.
Our nervous system WILL catch on & refuse to cooperate if we get in the habit of bailing on our promises to ourselves.
Our nervous system WILL catch on & refuse to cooperate if we get in the habit of bailing on our promises to ourselves.
December 20, 2024 at 8:10 PM
When we promise ourselves that we're going to come back to something we've decided to temporary avoid (i.e., containment), we gotta keep that promise.
Our nervous system WILL catch on & refuse to cooperate if we get in the habit of bailing on our promises to ourselves.
Our nervous system WILL catch on & refuse to cooperate if we get in the habit of bailing on our promises to ourselves.