Shadows of Control
@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. https://shadowsofcontrol.substack.com/
A Welsh man was convicted for abuse after secretly bugging his wife’s office to listen in on her private therapy sessions and physically attacking her. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
Controlling Husband Bugged Wife’s Online Therapy Session
A controlling husband was convicted after secretly bugging his wife's room to listen in on her online therapy session and violently attacking her.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
A Welsh man was convicted for abuse after secretly bugging his wife’s office to listen in on her private therapy sessions and physically attacking her. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
Shared custody with an abuser isn’t co-parenting—it’s court-sanctioned access to harm.
#ProtectChildren #PostSeparationAbuse
#ProtectChildren #PostSeparationAbuse
February 7, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Shared custody with an abuser isn’t co-parenting—it’s court-sanctioned access to harm.
#ProtectChildren #PostSeparationAbuse
#ProtectChildren #PostSeparationAbuse
Gaslighters.
They twist reality, making you question what’s real.
The more you believe them, the more they manipulate.
The harder you try to understand, the more they distort.
The closer you get to certainty, the faster they spin lies.
You are not crazy—trust your truth.
#Gaslighting
They twist reality, making you question what’s real.
The more you believe them, the more they manipulate.
The harder you try to understand, the more they distort.
The closer you get to certainty, the faster they spin lies.
You are not crazy—trust your truth.
#Gaslighting
February 6, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Gaslighters.
They twist reality, making you question what’s real.
The more you believe them, the more they manipulate.
The harder you try to understand, the more they distort.
The closer you get to certainty, the faster they spin lies.
You are not crazy—trust your truth.
#Gaslighting
They twist reality, making you question what’s real.
The more you believe them, the more they manipulate.
The harder you try to understand, the more they distort.
The closer you get to certainty, the faster they spin lies.
You are not crazy—trust your truth.
#Gaslighting
Abusers wear masks. To the outside world, they seem charming and generous. Behind closed doors, they’re a different person entirely.
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
February 6, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Abusers wear masks. To the outside world, they seem charming and generous. Behind closed doors, they’re a different person entirely.
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Many people who escape domestic abuse report feeling misunderstood. Here are some things victims wish others understood about what it is really like to leave. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Readers’ Voices: What Abuse Victims Wish Others Understood
Gain insight into the experiences of abuse survivors and what they wish others understood. Learn about the complexities and challenges of leaving abusive relationships.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 6, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Many people who escape domestic abuse report feeling misunderstood. Here are some things victims wish others understood about what it is really like to leave. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Special occasions are just another opportunity for an abuser to stir up drama and overshadow your happiness. 🚩
February 5, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Special occasions are just another opportunity for an abuser to stir up drama and overshadow your happiness. 🚩
To outsiders, her relationship seemed normal, but she lived under constant surveillance and intimidation. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
“My Controlling Husband Dictated My Every Move” (Video)
Witness the journey of Bethany Green as she bravely shares her story of survival and empowerment. Uncover the truth about living with a controlling husband in this powerful episode.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 5, 2026 at 8:02 PM
To outsiders, her relationship seemed normal, but she lived under constant surveillance and intimidation. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
Abuse thrives in silence and appearances. Victims often look strong, composed, even happy—because they’ve had to be.
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
February 5, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Abuse thrives in silence and appearances. Victims often look strong, composed, even happy—because they’ve had to be.
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#HiddenAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Proving #coercivecontrol requires demonstrating an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior. While each case is unique, there are many steps individuals can take to substantiate their claims.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
How to Prove Coercive Control: Practical Steps
Learn how to prove coercive control in domestic abuse cases. Understand the legal framework and legislation addressing this form of abuse.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 4, 2026 at 8:02 PM
Proving #coercivecontrol requires demonstrating an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior. While each case is unique, there are many steps individuals can take to substantiate their claims.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Abuse often works slowly, chipping away at your identity piece by piece. You don’t realise how much of yourself you’ve lost—until one day, you barely recognise who you are.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
February 4, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Abuse often works slowly, chipping away at your identity piece by piece. You don’t realise how much of yourself you’ve lost—until one day, you barely recognise who you are.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Many people don’t recognize they are being abused because the perception of domestic abuse is often limited to physical assaults. Here are some things readers shared, which they didn't initially know was abuse. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Readers’ Voices: “I Didn’t Know I Was Being Abused”
Uncover the hidden signs of abuse in relationships. Learn how some victims fail to recognize abusive behaviors until it's too late.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 4, 2026 at 3:29 AM
Many people don’t recognize they are being abused because the perception of domestic abuse is often limited to physical assaults. Here are some things readers shared, which they didn't initially know was abuse. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Paula endured 10+ years of abuse, including secret recordings that turned her defensive reactions into “evidence” against her. What some call reactive abuse was actually reactive defense—a natural response to prolonged manipulation.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Reactive Abuse vs Reactive Defense: How Mislabeling Harms Victims of Domestic Violence
A recent case involving Paula, the wife of a Metropolitan police officer, highlights the serious issues surrounding coercive control, gaslighting, and the misrepresentation of what is often called 'reactive abuse.'
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
February 3, 2026 at 8:02 PM
Paula endured 10+ years of abuse, including secret recordings that turned her defensive reactions into “evidence” against her. What some call reactive abuse was actually reactive defense—a natural response to prolonged manipulation.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
You deserve relationships that make you feel safe, valued, and loved. Never settle for less. ❤️ #HealthyRelationships
February 3, 2026 at 4:02 PM
You deserve relationships that make you feel safe, valued, and loved. Never settle for less. ❤️ #HealthyRelationships
Over time, an abuser’s relentless demands wear away your identity, leaving you a shell of who you once were.
This loss of self is a hallmark of #coercivecontrol. Recovery means rediscovering your beliefs, interests & values that were long suppressed.
This loss of self is a hallmark of #coercivecontrol. Recovery means rediscovering your beliefs, interests & values that were long suppressed.
February 2, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Over time, an abuser’s relentless demands wear away your identity, leaving you a shell of who you once were.
This loss of self is a hallmark of #coercivecontrol. Recovery means rediscovering your beliefs, interests & values that were long suppressed.
This loss of self is a hallmark of #coercivecontrol. Recovery means rediscovering your beliefs, interests & values that were long suppressed.
Emotional and psychological abuse can be so invisible that victims feel they need visible wounds to be believed. Abuse is abuse—even when there are no bruises.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
February 2, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Emotional and psychological abuse can be so invisible that victims feel they need visible wounds to be believed. Abuse is abuse—even when there are no bruises.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Abusers use jealousy as a weapon, turning ordinary interactions into accusations. It isn’t love—it’s control.
#CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
#CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
February 2, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Abusers use jealousy as a weapon, turning ordinary interactions into accusations. It isn’t love—it’s control.
#CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
#CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
Shifting goalposts makes it feel like you’re constantly “almost there,” but in reality, they’re just setting you up to fail. 🚩
February 1, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Shifting goalposts makes it feel like you’re constantly “almost there,” but in reality, they’re just setting you up to fail. 🚩
This documentary explores Gabby Petito's tragic story, with journalist Sarah Abo uncovering the dangerous patterns of control and isolation that preceded her murder. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
The Gabby Petito Story: An American Tragedy (Video)
Explore the harrowing circumstances surrounding Gabby Petito's murder. Gain insights into the controlling dynamics of her relationship in this captivating 60 Minutes report.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 1, 2026 at 8:02 PM
This documentary explores Gabby Petito's tragic story, with journalist Sarah Abo uncovering the dangerous patterns of control and isolation that preceded her murder. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
Leaving is often the most dangerous time. Survivors don’t stay because it’s easy—they stay because leaving can feel like life or death.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
February 1, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Leaving is often the most dangerous time. Survivors don’t stay because it’s easy—they stay because leaving can feel like life or death.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Couples therapy aims to address mutual issues in a relationship, but abuse is NOT mutual mistreatment. Couples counselling can end up empowering abusers and escalate the abuse further. #CouplesTherapy
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
The Hidden Dangers of Couples Therapy in Abusive Relationships
Discover why couples therapy may not be effective or safe in abusive relationships. Learn about the dangers and inadequacies highlighted by experts.
shadowsofcontrol.com
February 1, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Couples therapy aims to address mutual issues in a relationship, but abuse is NOT mutual mistreatment. Couples counselling can end up empowering abusers and escalate the abuse further. #CouplesTherapy
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Healing is messy.
It’s laughing one minute & crying the next.
Taking 3 steps forward & 2 back.
Feeling better for a week, then sinking into old fears.
Anger at them, then guilt for leaving.
There’s no timeline, no rush. Every step, no matter how small, is progress.
#HealingJourney
It’s laughing one minute & crying the next.
Taking 3 steps forward & 2 back.
Feeling better for a week, then sinking into old fears.
Anger at them, then guilt for leaving.
There’s no timeline, no rush. Every step, no matter how small, is progress.
#HealingJourney
January 31, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Healing is messy.
It’s laughing one minute & crying the next.
Taking 3 steps forward & 2 back.
Feeling better for a week, then sinking into old fears.
Anger at them, then guilt for leaving.
There’s no timeline, no rush. Every step, no matter how small, is progress.
#HealingJourney
It’s laughing one minute & crying the next.
Taking 3 steps forward & 2 back.
Feeling better for a week, then sinking into old fears.
Anger at them, then guilt for leaving.
There’s no timeline, no rush. Every step, no matter how small, is progress.
#HealingJourney
Emotional and psychological abuse leaves invisible scars that can be deeper than physical harm. Victims often feel isolated, doubting themselves and wishing for something tangible to prove their suffering.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Unseen Wounds: Why Some Abuse Victims Wish Their Partner Would Hit Them
When we think of abuse, most people's minds immediately jump to physical violence—bruises, black eyes, and broken bones.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
January 31, 2026 at 3:10 AM
Emotional and psychological abuse leaves invisible scars that can be deeper than physical harm. Victims often feel isolated, doubting themselves and wishing for something tangible to prove their suffering.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Surveillance is a hallmark of coercive control. When privacy disappears, freedom does too.
#CoerciveControl #TechAbuse
#CoerciveControl #TechAbuse
January 31, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Surveillance is a hallmark of coercive control. When privacy disappears, freedom does too.
#CoerciveControl #TechAbuse
#CoerciveControl #TechAbuse
Someone in my community shared this recently, and it stayed with me.
She said someone once told her: “It seems like you really attract abusers.”
Her reply?
“I disagree. Would you say that zebras attract lions, or that lions hunt zebras?”
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
She said someone once told her: “It seems like you really attract abusers.”
Her reply?
“I disagree. Would you say that zebras attract lions, or that lions hunt zebras?”
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 30, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Someone in my community shared this recently, and it stayed with me.
She said someone once told her: “It seems like you really attract abusers.”
Her reply?
“I disagree. Would you say that zebras attract lions, or that lions hunt zebras?”
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
She said someone once told her: “It seems like you really attract abusers.”
Her reply?
“I disagree. Would you say that zebras attract lions, or that lions hunt zebras?”
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Coercive control erodes your sense of self. You’re not just surviving the abuse—you’re being slowly erased by it.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
January 30, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Coercive control erodes your sense of self. You’re not just surviving the abuse—you’re being slowly erased by it.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl