Shadows of Control
@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. https://shadowsofcontrol.substack.com/
Abuse isn’t always strict orders—it’s often the illusion of choice. They manipulate you into thinking you have a say, but constant criticism & emotional attacks push you to do what they want. It’s control without looking like control. Awareness is key to breaking free.
November 11, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Abuse isn’t always strict orders—it’s often the illusion of choice. They manipulate you into thinking you have a say, but constant criticism & emotional attacks push you to do what they want. It’s control without looking like control. Awareness is key to breaking free.
Abusers isolate you on purpose.
They cut you off from friends and family.
They make you feel like no one else understands or cares.
They convince you they’re the only person you can rely on.
Isolation is how they control you.
Reconnection is how you can start to break free.
#CoerciveControl
They cut you off from friends and family.
They make you feel like no one else understands or cares.
They convince you they’re the only person you can rely on.
Isolation is how they control you.
Reconnection is how you can start to break free.
#CoerciveControl
November 10, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Abusers isolate you on purpose.
They cut you off from friends and family.
They make you feel like no one else understands or cares.
They convince you they’re the only person you can rely on.
Isolation is how they control you.
Reconnection is how you can start to break free.
#CoerciveControl
They cut you off from friends and family.
They make you feel like no one else understands or cares.
They convince you they’re the only person you can rely on.
Isolation is how they control you.
Reconnection is how you can start to break free.
#CoerciveControl
Abuse teaches you to shrink. Healing teaches you to take up space again.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 10, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse teaches you to shrink. Healing teaches you to take up space again.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Coercive control robs survivors of autonomy. Leaving doesn’t instantly restore it—it takes time, courage, and rebuilding.
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
November 10, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coercive control robs survivors of autonomy. Leaving doesn’t instantly restore it—it takes time, courage, and rebuilding.
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
#CoerciveControl #HealingJourney
#FinancialAbuse post-separation can be devastating. Abusers may block access to joint accounts, refuse child support, or work cash jobs to avoid payments. This control tactic leaves you vulnerable & struggling to meet basic needs, regardless of the impact on the children.
November 9, 2025 at 10:31 PM
#FinancialAbuse post-separation can be devastating. Abusers may block access to joint accounts, refuse child support, or work cash jobs to avoid payments. This control tactic leaves you vulnerable & struggling to meet basic needs, regardless of the impact on the children.
For many, escaping domestic abuse is just the beginning of another nightmare—one where their abusive partner refuses to relinquish control, and they are constantly watched, followed, and threatened.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
The Devastating Impact of Post-Separation Stalking
Understand post-separation stalking: a dangerous extension of domestic violence that traps victims in fear and control.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 9, 2025 at 8:02 PM
For many, escaping domestic abuse is just the beginning of another nightmare—one where their abusive partner refuses to relinquish control, and they are constantly watched, followed, and threatened.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
You may have been controlled, but the power to reclaim your life still belongs to you.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 9, 2025 at 1:02 PM
You may have been controlled, but the power to reclaim your life still belongs to you.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
Gabby Petito’s murder could have been prevented—the bodycam footage shows how Brian Laundrie manipulated police using classic abuser tactics. Gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional manipulation worked in his favor, leaving Gabby unprotected. Here’s how it happened. ⬇️
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Bodycam Footage of Brian Laundrie Exposes Classic Abuser Tactics
The bodycam footage of Brian Laundrie’s encounter with police reveals classic abuser tactics, including gaslighting, DARVO, and minimization.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Gabby Petito’s murder could have been prevented—the bodycam footage shows how Brian Laundrie manipulated police using classic abuser tactics. Gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional manipulation worked in his favor, leaving Gabby unprotected. Here’s how it happened. ⬇️
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
You are not responsible for fixing others, especially when it is at the expense of your own well-being. #SelfCare #HealingJourney
November 8, 2025 at 10:29 PM
You are not responsible for fixing others, especially when it is at the expense of your own well-being. #SelfCare #HealingJourney
Abusers often hide behind excuses—“I love you too much,” “You provoked me,” or “I had a bad day”—to justify controlling, manipulative, and harmful behavior. Recognizing these rationalizations as tactics, not truth, is crucial for breaking free from abuse.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
10 Common Excuses Abusers Give for Their Behavior
Abusive relationships often operate under a veil of excuses and justifications that the perpertrator uses to rationalize his behavior.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
November 8, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Abusers often hide behind excuses—“I love you too much,” “You provoked me,” or “I had a bad day”—to justify controlling, manipulative, and harmful behavior. Recognizing these rationalizations as tactics, not truth, is crucial for breaking free from abuse.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Abuse reshapes identity. Survivors often adapt just to stay safe—silencing themselves, shrinking down, losing who they once were.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 8, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Abuse reshapes identity. Survivors often adapt just to stay safe—silencing themselves, shrinking down, losing who they once were.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
If your partner tries to create distance between you and your family by claiming they're trying to control your life, what your partner might actually be worried about is that your family is making it harder for THEM to control you!
November 7, 2025 at 4:02 PM
If your partner tries to create distance between you and your family by claiming they're trying to control your life, what your partner might actually be worried about is that your family is making it harder for THEM to control you!
Healing after abuse isn’t a straight path. It’s a thousand small rebellions. It’s rediscovering what you love, claiming what’s yours, and learning to exist freely again. Here are twenty-five ways survivors have found their way back to themselves. #HealingJourney
25 Ways to Heal After Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse strips away identity, joy, and self-trust until you begin to shape yourself around someone else’s moods and rules.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
November 7, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Healing after abuse isn’t a straight path. It’s a thousand small rebellions. It’s rediscovering what you love, claiming what’s yours, and learning to exist freely again. Here are twenty-five ways survivors have found their way back to themselves. #HealingJourney
Emotional and psychological abuse can strip away your sense of self long before physical violence is ever present.
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
November 7, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Emotional and psychological abuse can strip away your sense of self long before physical violence is ever present.
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#EmotionalAbuse #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Joanne’s story of surviving an abusive relationship reveals how emotional abuse can start subtly and escalate into control and fear.
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
Joanne’s Story: Recognizing the Red Flags of Abuse Before It’s Too Late (Video)
Joanne’s story of surviving an abusive relationship reveals how emotional abuse can start subtly and escalate into control and fear.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Joanne’s story of surviving an abusive relationship reveals how emotional abuse can start subtly and escalate into control and fear.
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
Protect your heart fiercely from those who don’t appreciate it. 💖
November 6, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Protect your heart fiercely from those who don’t appreciate it. 💖
Why do people blame victims instead of holding abusers accountable? The reasons are complex and often rooted in psychological biases, societal myths, and personal discomfort.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Why Do People Blame Domestic Abuse Victims?
Explore why people blame domestic abuse victims and how this harmful perspective affects their healing process.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 6, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Why do people blame victims instead of holding abusers accountable? The reasons are complex and often rooted in psychological biases, societal myths, and personal discomfort.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
The good times are not proof it wasn’t abuse. They’re part of what keeps survivors stuck.
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
November 6, 2025 at 12:29 AM
The good times are not proof it wasn’t abuse. They’re part of what keeps survivors stuck.
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
#traumabond #coercivecontrol
Netflix's release of 'American Murder: Gabby Petito' brings renewed attention to Gabby’s heartbreaking case, revealing the clear signs of coercive control through her videos, messages, and testimony from those who knew her. 💔
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
The Tragic Signs of Coercive Control in Gabby Petito’s Story
Learn about coercive control, a hidden form of domestic abuse. Shadows of Control shares stories, insights, and resources to recognize control in relationships and understand its impact.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 5, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Netflix's release of 'American Murder: Gabby Petito' brings renewed attention to Gabby’s heartbreaking case, revealing the clear signs of coercive control through her videos, messages, and testimony from those who knew her. 💔
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Psychological abuse twists your reality until you question your own reactions more than the harm itself. #Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
November 5, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Psychological abuse twists your reality until you question your own reactions more than the harm itself. #Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
Explore the journey of a survivor as she recounts the escalating control and abuse in her marriage and how she finally broke free.
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
Journey of a Survivor: Breaking Free from Abuse
Explore the journey of a survivor as she recounts the escalating control and abuse in her marriage and how she finally broke free.
shadowsofcontrol.com
November 5, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Explore the journey of a survivor as she recounts the escalating control and abuse in her marriage and how she finally broke free.
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
After leaving a controlling partner, you might see them jump into a new relationship almost immediately. This isn’t about love—it’s about regaining control and maintaining their self-image. Understanding this can help survivors focus on healing. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Why Abusers Rush Into New Relationships
The conclusion of a relationship with a controlling abuser often ushers in a baffling phase: their rapid transition into a new partnership.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 8:02 PM
After leaving a controlling partner, you might see them jump into a new relationship almost immediately. This isn’t about love—it’s about regaining control and maintaining their self-image. Understanding this can help survivors focus on healing. #CoerciveControl
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
Question: “Why didn’t you just say no to them?”
Answer: Abusers don’t respect boundaries. Saying no often leads to more manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even threats. It's not about simply refusing—it's about survival in a situation where your choices are controlled by fear.
Answer: Abusers don’t respect boundaries. Saying no often leads to more manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even threats. It's not about simply refusing—it's about survival in a situation where your choices are controlled by fear.
November 4, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Question: “Why didn’t you just say no to them?”
Answer: Abusers don’t respect boundaries. Saying no often leads to more manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even threats. It's not about simply refusing—it's about survival in a situation where your choices are controlled by fear.
Answer: Abusers don’t respect boundaries. Saying no often leads to more manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even threats. It's not about simply refusing—it's about survival in a situation where your choices are controlled by fear.
When toxic people can't control you, they try to control how others view you. #Manipulation 🐍
November 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
When toxic people can't control you, they try to control how others view you. #Manipulation 🐍
Public charm is not proof of private kindness. Many abusers protect their image while harming those closest to them.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
November 3, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Public charm is not proof of private kindness. Many abusers protect their image while harming those closest to them.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl