“Good morning,” he said.
“Reported for spam,” I retorted.

ME: Can I use the bathroom?
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...

If you tell me something is by dint of something else, I don't care who you are I am full body tackling you into the nearest cinder block wall. I'm knocking your wig off with a nine iron. Don't tell me about dints, DIPSHIT!!

America has 4 time zones and if you’re lucky enough to live in one time will continue to pass normally

NYPD is reporting that the CEO killer is... the hawk tuah girl?? It sounds farfetched, but my nephew just showed me. He showed it to me on his phone. My heart is racing. That's two things I've both heard about, put together. What will I hear about next.

You’re pretty stupid for a starchild

“it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean”

me, coffee cup shaking: which is CONTROLLED by the MOON…do you understand??

Phew, it's been a long, long trip, but Caves of Qud 1.0 is finally out there.

Hope you all, new and old, enjoy the ride!

steamcommunity.com/games/333640...

Oh wow a “bird flu” no shit that is literally what they do.