Every time I see Mookie Betts’ name, my brain tries to read it as Muggsy Bogues and then I get a little disappointed when the Dodger walking up to the plate is not the retired point guard and the shortest player in NBA history.

Sometimes when people criticize Philly sports fans as mentally ill, I find myself explaining Kierkegaard’s Knight of Faith, who is exiled from the realm of human discourse by the inexpressibility of his mission but is great because of what he suffers in the trial. I do this because I am mentally ill

Wow I can’t believe the Eagles just solved Zeno’s Paradox

Still can’t believe the platform that allowed 1.8 million people to watch me make a stupid joke about Timothee Chalamet can just be gone like that

Still searching for the purpose of a Bluesky account tbh, especially with the impending TikTok ban. Which little pocket of my interests and identity ends up on this platform and why has it mostly been sports coverage?

AJ Brown: [reading House of Leaves on the sideline, his eyes turn jet black, the sky fills with ravens]

Tom Brady: wow

Gawrsh! They dont love you like I love you

New #1 on the list of Things Someone Should Create Just for Me is a 2nd gen kpop themed TTRPG campaign called Dungeons and GDragons

Some sad news: the last of the California Raisins has been eaten alive. As with previous band members, the Raisin was served ortolan style and he went down singing. I think it was the sunglasses one

I feel like there’s no excuse not to replace all the Christopher Columbus statues now that we’ve got an Italian figure who’s less culturally divisive and more historically impactful

She’s holding space for the lyrics

👏GIVE 👏THE 👏OTHER 👏49 👏STATES 👏THEIR 👏OWN 👏CHAINSAW 👏MASSACRE 👏MOVIES

I can’t believe it’s taken so long, but I appreciate that the Overton window is finally shifting from politely accepting “When they go low, we go high” to asking, “Hey but why are we letting them go low? Surely going that low is like, illegal?? Shouldn’t we just stop them from going low???”

If the conceit of “a baker’s dozen” is that the baker gets to make an extra cookie to eat as a little treat themselves, why are we as consumers allowed to purchase a baker’s dozen? That 13th cookie belongs to the baker. We did not labor! We did not earn that little treat!!

The preponderance of for-profit online companies that just exist to sell people cost-prohibitively expensive weight loss drugs in their own corporate-hip branding is maddening, BUT ALSO I would be a lot more tempted to take Ozempic if someone repackaged it to look like The Substance

Me at a Health and Human Services Q&A: …Thank you for that incomprehensible answer, Mr. K Jr. The worm in my brain recognizes the worm in your brain.