@sharkthief.bsky.social
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle — theonion.com/nation-yearn...
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle
WASHINGTON—Expressing deep fondness for those long-gone halcyon days, the U.S. population collectively yearned Tuesday for the relative calm of the “president is a giant pedophile” news cycle. “It was...
theonion.com
January 21, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle — theonion.com/nation-yearn...
Reposted
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else — theonion.com/jd-vance-cri...
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else
WASHINGTON—In the wake of a controversial incident aboard Air Force One in which President Donald Trump insulted a female journalist, Vice President JD Vance is said to have wept in his office bathroo...
theonion.com
November 22, 2025 at 2:38 PM
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else — theonion.com/jd-vance-cri...
I Bet Pedro Pascal Hates Parasocial Relationships — theonion.com/i-bet-pedro-...
I Bet Pedro Pascal Hates Parasocial Relationships
Ever feel like you have a “special connection” with an artist? Like if the two of you could only meet, you would be instant BFFs? This phenomenon is what experts call a parasocial relationship. On the...
theonion.com
November 6, 2025 at 4:09 PM
I Bet Pedro Pascal Hates Parasocial Relationships — theonion.com/i-bet-pedro-...
Reposted
Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation
Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation
WASHINGTON—Organizers reported Sunday that the 44th White House Carnival was a rousing success, raising a record $800,000,066,845 for the federal government—$800 billion of which came from a dunk tank...
theonion.com
November 4, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation
Reposted
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
November 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
Reposted
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 PM
24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures — theonion.com/24-hour-horr...
24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures
MILWAUKEE—Expressing enthusiasm about the programming and atmosphere at the Avalon Theater’s all-night screening, local man Dan Wittman reportedly attended a 24-hour Scare-O-Rama horror marathon this ...
theonion.com
October 31, 2025 at 7:10 PM
24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures — theonion.com/24-hour-horr...
Reposted
“The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services
Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold
WASHINGTON—Praising the process as yet another miracle of biology that modern medicine chooses to ignore, a gray-lipped Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke at a press conference Wednesday during which he tout...
theonion.com
October 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too — theonion.com/report-guy-w...
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too
CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph Jackson found that the man who recorded the perennial ...
theonion.com
October 29, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too — theonion.com/report-guy-w...
Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security — theonion.com/visibly-brui...
Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security
WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared Friday that wobbly barstools were a threat to natio...
theonion.com
October 24, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security — theonion.com/visibly-brui...
Great video from @gamersnexus.bsky.social about controlling your own tech world
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whhl...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whhl...
You'll Own Nothing and It's Awful | Taking Control of Your Media, ft. Wendell
YouTube video by Gamers Nexus
www.youtube.com
October 21, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Great video from @gamersnexus.bsky.social about controlling your own tech world
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whhl...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whhl...
Reposted
EXCLUSIVE: One Saturday afternoon in October, my phone lit up with a notification.
I glanced down at the message.
“Anna, Lindsey Halligan here,” it began.
So began my text exchange with the woman who is prosecuting the president's perceived political enemies.
www.lawfaremedia.org/article/anna...
I glanced down at the message.
“Anna, Lindsey Halligan here,” it began.
So began my text exchange with the woman who is prosecuting the president's perceived political enemies.
www.lawfaremedia.org/article/anna...
October 20, 2025 at 10:09 PM
EXCLUSIVE: One Saturday afternoon in October, my phone lit up with a notification.
I glanced down at the message.
“Anna, Lindsey Halligan here,” it began.
So began my text exchange with the woman who is prosecuting the president's perceived political enemies.
www.lawfaremedia.org/article/anna...
I glanced down at the message.
“Anna, Lindsey Halligan here,” it began.
So began my text exchange with the woman who is prosecuting the president's perceived political enemies.
www.lawfaremedia.org/article/anna...
ICE Raids: Myth Vs. Fact — theonion.com/ice-raids-my...
ICE Raids: Myth Vs. Fact
As Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations ramp up across the country, so has misinformation. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding ICE raids. MYTH: ICE agents lack proper training. FACT:...
theonion.com
October 12, 2025 at 1:15 AM
ICE Raids: Myth Vs. Fact — theonion.com/ice-raids-my...
Reposted
Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.
The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein
YouTube video by The Onion
www.youtube.com
October 9, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.
Reposted
Um, ICE just coldly shot an unarmed PRIEST in the head w a pepper ball when he (and everyone around him) clearly posed no threat.
For the crime of … complaining about government policy.
Core 1A speech.
With cameras rolling, they’re sniping priests for sport.
For the crime of … complaining about government policy.
Core 1A speech.
With cameras rolling, they’re sniping priests for sport.
October 8, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Um, ICE just coldly shot an unarmed PRIEST in the head w a pepper ball when he (and everyone around him) clearly posed no threat.
For the crime of … complaining about government policy.
Core 1A speech.
With cameras rolling, they’re sniping priests for sport.
For the crime of … complaining about government policy.
Core 1A speech.
With cameras rolling, they’re sniping priests for sport.
Reposted
Breaking News: Jane Goodall, one of the world’s most revered conservationists, died at 91. Her discoveries in the 1960s about how chimpanzees behaved in the wild broke new ground and represented what was called “one of the Western world’s great scientific achievements.” nyti.ms/42kpGxt
October 1, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Breaking News: Jane Goodall, one of the world’s most revered conservationists, died at 91. Her discoveries in the 1960s about how chimpanzees behaved in the wild broke new ground and represented what was called “one of the Western world’s great scientific achievements.” nyti.ms/42kpGxt
Reposted
every single day that we are ruled by this senile freak has a new humiliation on an international scale
oh my god lol -- Trump calls for UN workers to be arrested because his escalator didn't work yesterday
September 24, 2025 at 10:23 PM
every single day that we are ruled by this senile freak has a new humiliation on an international scale
Reposted
ICE going full Theon Greyjoy
September 23, 2025 at 3:00 PM
ICE going full Theon Greyjoy