Tiberius von Schnakenbrack
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schnakenbrack.bsky.social
Tiberius von Schnakenbrack
@schnakenbrack.bsky.social
Meine Freunde nennen mich von
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hier schnell noch was an Folie 17 ändern und dabei über das Leben nachdenken
January 8, 2026 at 8:36 PM
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Overheard a kid on the bus - his mate goes, "you wee cunt you fell asleep" and the kid's like "nah, i was just being nonchalant"

Anyway i'm stealing this line for work
December 21, 2025 at 10:24 PM
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🔥
🏠 ,...mein gedöns!
🧎
January 7, 2026 at 6:41 AM
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damen lieben diesen duft an mir
npr.org NPR @npr.org · 2d
Young, infected Lasius neglectus ants will send out an altruistic "kill me" signal to worker ants, a new study finds, as part of a strategy to keep deadly pathogens from spreading through the colony. n.pr/4prEPpm
Sick young ants send out a 'kill me' scent to prevent deadly epidemics
Young, infected Lasius neglectus ants will send out an altruistic "kill me" signal to worker ants, a new study finds, as part of a strategy to keep deadly pathogens from spreading through the colony.
n.pr
January 7, 2026 at 11:17 AM
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"Let's all stomp around in heavy boots and drop stuff on the floor 100 times a day" - the rude family whose basement I'm secretly living in
January 6, 2026 at 2:11 PM
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(a bell rings, reminding me of previous times i have eaten) these memories are so good... might as well salivate. it's my choice.
June 13, 2023 at 9:15 AM
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Picture a crab. Now picture yourself putting a little wig on the crab and kissing it. Ok stop that now, you're being weird
January 4, 2026 at 6:42 PM
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m’laundry
January 4, 2026 at 5:21 AM
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This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner
January 3, 2026 at 2:42 PM
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baguette - die wahrscheinlich längste praline der welt
January 2, 2026 at 6:23 AM
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jesis verbrachte drei tage in seiner man-cave niemand weiß was er darin gemacht hat [macht unanständige geste]
March 28, 2024 at 5:59 PM
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hier im köln sagen wir "es kommt wie's kommt" - das ist kölsch und bedeutet soviel wie "es kommt wie es kommt" - ein spruch von dem heute niemand mehr weiß was er genau bedeutet
July 24, 2025 at 9:24 PM
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wir beide haben fehler gemacht
du hast mich zb kennengelernt
January 25, 2024 at 12:43 PM
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dies könnten wir sein doch du bist beknackt
January 1, 2026 at 7:36 PM
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gurl halt mich wie'n dachdecker
January 1, 2026 at 9:37 PM
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Just making sure that 2025 is definitely over
January 1, 2026 at 4:43 AM
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We all have that one friend who's a sock puppet that got permanently fused to our hand during a lightning storm and now it whispers sinister coded instructions to us at night time
January 1, 2026 at 4:03 PM
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Saying “See you next year!” on December 31st

- Corny and annoying
- Everybody hates you
- Seriously this joke sucks

Saying “See you next year!” on January 31st

- Mysterious
- Are you going on a long adventure?
- You may not understand how years work
December 31, 2024 at 3:21 PM
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Mechanic rolled out from under my car and across the room and out of the garage and down the road, never to be seen again
December 31, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Your FIFA peace prize laureate bombing another country has people asking a lot of questions already answered by your FIFA peace price.
December 31, 2025 at 9:23 AM
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der größte böller ist das herz
January 1, 2025 at 10:56 PM
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wenn das leben dir nudeln gibt
kannst du nudeln machen warm
oder du kannst nudeln machen kalt
December 30, 2025 at 10:39 PM
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ich (schaf) und wer?
Wie ich euch vor den Böllern in Sicherheit bringe:
December 30, 2025 at 6:57 PM
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du bist in ihren DMs aber
sie sitzt hinter mir in der
bahn und kaut auf meinen
haaren wie eine katze auf
dem lichterkettenkabel
sag ihr sie soll aufhören
December 26, 2023 at 2:10 PM
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My dog got me a chewed stick for christmas. I appreciate the gesture but I wish there was a polite way to say "we don't need to get each other gifts any more." My cat got me a pipe bomb
December 28, 2025 at 3:09 PM