But Doctor! You're Pagliacci! This is all an elaborate bit!
October 13, 2025 at 4:03 PM
But Doctor! You're Pagliacci! This is all an elaborate bit!
Reposted by Watts
*Lil Jon Voice* States' Rights to What
October 10, 2025 at 12:26 AM
*Lil Jon Voice* States' Rights to What
I'm not saying I'm a creature of habit, but they took away my favorite table at the food hall for having breakfast and I'm kinda mad about it.
October 9, 2025 at 1:29 PM
I'm not saying I'm a creature of habit, but they took away my favorite table at the food hall for having breakfast and I'm kinda mad about it.
What's a procrastinating geologist's favorite mineral?
Tomorrownite!
Tomorrownite!
September 26, 2025 at 5:28 PM
What's a procrastinating geologist's favorite mineral?
Tomorrownite!
Tomorrownite!
Perhaps they should have paid more attention to the words he was saying and less attention to his wine. Though, in their defense, it sure was a mighty fine wine.
"We feel it’s time to speak up. We’ve heard your calls for a statement on the subject of Jeremiah, a bullfrog we’ve long referred to as our friend. Your comments, your direct messages, and your anthrax threats have all prompted us to take action."
We Must Clarify That the Bullfrog Jeremiah Was, in Fact, a Mere Acquaintance
With apologies to Three Dog Night. - - -In the wake of recent events, we feel it’s time to speak up. We’ve heard your calls for a statement on the ...
buff.ly
September 19, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Perhaps they should have paid more attention to the words he was saying and less attention to his wine. Though, in their defense, it sure was a mighty fine wine.
Reposted by Watts
who up strokin' they sword while lamenting the social realities
September 18, 2025 at 3:00 PM
who up strokin' they sword while lamenting the social realities
Reposted by Watts
WHO WASHES THE WASHMEN!?
September 9, 2025 at 4:05 AM
WHO WASHES THE WASHMEN!?
Reposted by Watts
if only they had some kind of professional media manipulator handy to turn this story into a positive for them
September 7, 2025 at 7:10 PM
if only they had some kind of professional media manipulator handy to turn this story into a positive for them
Reposted by Watts
Reposted by Watts
Reposted by Watts
Reposted by Watts
Aubrey Plaza is actually a nepo baby. I imagine ur familiar with her father, Rockefeller
September 1, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Aubrey Plaza is actually a nepo baby. I imagine ur familiar with her father, Rockefeller
Reposted by Watts
You need velcro for that, which wasn't invented until the 3rd century when the Romans invented it to help with naval combat. The so-called Oar Crow (or, to give it it's latin name, the Vel Corvus) helped hold ships together. And that's where we get velcro.
August 16, 2025 at 4:55 PM
You need velcro for that, which wasn't invented until the 3rd century when the Romans invented it to help with naval combat. The so-called Oar Crow (or, to give it it's latin name, the Vel Corvus) helped hold ships together. And that's where we get velcro.
Taylor Hornbill is riding their skateboard down a ramp. Part-way down, the angle of the ramp changes. At that point, they jump off in some direction at some velocity. At what angle / velocity would they need to jump in order to land on the skateboard again when the ramp levels out?
July 29, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Taylor Hornbill is riding their skateboard down a ramp. Part-way down, the angle of the ramp changes. At that point, they jump off in some direction at some velocity. At what angle / velocity would they need to jump in order to land on the skateboard again when the ramp levels out?
Reposted by Watts
I once read a comment saying something like "if you choose not to laugh at farts, your life will contain less laughter but still the same amount of farts". I think about that a lot.
Some people are unhappy and always will be and deserve to be.
July 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I once read a comment saying something like "if you choose not to laugh at farts, your life will contain less laughter but still the same amount of farts". I think about that a lot.
Reposted by Watts
Absolutely brilliant.
July 19, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Absolutely brilliant.
I think there should be more songs out there about not being a goddamn son of a bitch.
July 18, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I think there should be more songs out there about not being a goddamn son of a bitch.
My alt-country Pandora station just played Candlebox's "Far Behind", which, while a total banger, is definitely Not Appropriate on that station. I listened to it, but then it tried to play REM's "What's The Frequency Kenneth", which, despite slapping hard, is also Not Appropriate.
July 14, 2025 at 7:38 PM
My alt-country Pandora station just played Candlebox's "Far Behind", which, while a total banger, is definitely Not Appropriate on that station. I listened to it, but then it tried to play REM's "What's The Frequency Kenneth", which, despite slapping hard, is also Not Appropriate.
Reposted by Watts
Here's the "The" article! The article "The." I mean the article about the article "the," which is "The." The "The" article covers the "the" article, to be clear. And Who's on first!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The
The - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
July 8, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Here's the "The" article! The article "The." I mean the article about the article "the," which is "The." The "The" article covers the "the" article, to be clear. And Who's on first!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The
Why does Patrick Stewart look better in red than he does in yellow?
when did red shirts become starfleet command uniforms
July 3, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Why does Patrick Stewart look better in red than he does in yellow?
Reposted by Watts
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Alois asked again, more insistently.
“Knock knock.”
And so it went for years. It wasn’t until his deathbed that Alois realized he was on the outside of the door.
(Happy b-day, Franz!)
“Who’s there?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Alois asked again, more insistently.
“Knock knock.”
And so it went for years. It wasn’t until his deathbed that Alois realized he was on the outside of the door.
(Happy b-day, Franz!)
Kafka’s Joke Book
Why did the chicken cross the road? It had been crossing so long it could not remember. As it stopped in the middle to look back, a car sped by, sp...
buff.ly
July 3, 2025 at 5:20 PM
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Alois asked again, more insistently.
“Knock knock.”
And so it went for years. It wasn’t until his deathbed that Alois realized he was on the outside of the door.
(Happy b-day, Franz!)
“Who’s there?”
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Alois asked again, more insistently.
“Knock knock.”
And so it went for years. It wasn’t until his deathbed that Alois realized he was on the outside of the door.
(Happy b-day, Franz!)
If Captain Underpants got promoted, would he become Major Underpants or Rear Admiral (bottom half) Underpants?
July 3, 2025 at 3:20 AM
If Captain Underpants got promoted, would he become Major Underpants or Rear Admiral (bottom half) Underpants?
Reposted by Watts
As names go, it wont get too much better than this.
July 2, 2025 at 9:19 PM
As names go, it wont get too much better than this.
Reposted by Watts
"For the life of me, I can't tell you what led me to reflect on the moment when Nicholas II lost control over a once-burgeoning empire due to widespread unrest that he himself had a hand in shaping."
I Have No Idea Why I’ve Suddenly Started Thinking About the 1917 Russian Revolution
So there I was, minding my own business, when, for some inexplicable reason, I found myself idly thinking about the fall of the Romanov dynasty. Fo...
buff.ly
June 27, 2025 at 6:27 PM
"For the life of me, I can't tell you what led me to reflect on the moment when Nicholas II lost control over a once-burgeoning empire due to widespread unrest that he himself had a hand in shaping."
I just aged several years in like 2 seconds by making the observation that the end of the GI Joe cartoons with the "knowing is half the battle" bit is kind of the opposite of the Mentos commercials.
June 26, 2025 at 10:30 PM
I just aged several years in like 2 seconds by making the observation that the end of the GI Joe cartoons with the "knowing is half the battle" bit is kind of the opposite of the Mentos commercials.